Employment following BI

[SamAnne67]

HI

My daughter suffered a traumatic brain injury last June aged 20. She suffered 2 strokes. The BI has affected her frontal lobes and resulted in a complete change in personality. She has returned to her job in a shop but her current manager is being less than supportive. She served a customer in store the other day and commented that she was buying cakes and said that she was on slimming world meaning she couldn't have any cake. the customer somehow took this the wrong way and reported her to her manager. My daughter was taken into an office and reprimanded about her "filters" and told that she is not "upholding her side of the bargain" with regards her filters and that as the store is moving soon, he didn't think in his "personal opinion" that she would have a job in the new store due to it being fast paced. She was very upset by these remarks and was made to sign a document by the 2 managers stating what had happened re the complaint, although she says what was written down was not entirely accurate. I feel this manager wants my daughter gone from the store as she is potentially causing him work. I have emailed the store requesting an appointment with him, myself and husband together with my daughters occupational therapist. Her previous manager was and is very supportive and has done a lot for her to ease her return to work, one example being that she works 2 short days rather than doing one long day (she was due to start university last September but obviously this is not now happening at the moment and the store job was a Saturday job).

I don't know if anyone else has been in a similar position? I am toying with the idea of writing to the Regional Manager of the store to address my concerns.

She enjoys her time in work when her manager is not present and even has regular customers who specifically come to her checkout.

Thank you for reading.

[ipes2]

Hi. It is good that she is working as this supports ongoing social interaction. The unsupportive shop managers are not unusual - there lack of understanding is often centred on fear of the unknown. There may be value in finding out what the head office has written regarding mental health. The other thing to consider is a change of role. It may be that this type of work is unsuitable for her. After may ABI I changed my career from sales to being a teacher. The main thing is that she continues to work as social integration and isolation are what really disabled someone with an ABI. Note: it may be necessary to find a more supportive work place. ALl the best, IAN

[Leaf100]

Hi SA

You could see an employment lawyer or someone in human rights to ask advice.

She is a disabled person and this may be failure to accommodate or become wrongful dismissal.

It is very disturbing they made her sign something inaccurate. You should let someone know, and a lawyer or human rights person there may know the system and can advise.

I am in Canada so things are different.

People with bi don't have filters and it is part of the disability - and the woman may have been oversensitive. If someone tells me something about slimming I don't assume it is passive aggressive- so that says more about the customer than your daughter.

It's necessary to know the lay if the land- for example if they don't want her with customers they may be legally obliged to find her something better suited to her.

You won't know unless you check it out, and do nit expect HR to be on her side over a manager's. The job of HR is to save the company money, basically, not to keep employees happy - unless by doing so they avoid a lawsuit.

Leaf

[Letsrock]

Hi, employers, yes they are all down to your manager as I am in the situation that I had a good manager who helped me and now he has left and the new manager attacked me in Jan and I have been off since then. My GP advised me to reteun to work in June but the employer is refusing to let me return as they will not let me do a phased return without supervising staff, even though nobody is supervising them for the last 3 months. Have tried Acas and union they all say it is hard to prove and very stressful and best thing is to find another job fir your health rather then stress even though they get awarded best employer of the year and give all these statements about disability.

Sirry but it us the real world no matter what the law says and nobidyvus here to help us.☹️

[skydivesurvivor]

Suffered my TBI in 2000, after 6 months in various hospitals I saw a DHS doctor who declared me fit to work. 6 months of living on bank of mom & dad, appeal said I wasn’t capable. Tried work on therapeutic basis whilst awaiting appeal. U never know until u try?!! Good luck to her

[Jaec]

I am sorry your daughter is going through this and this is still a thing. I had my ABI 30 years ago. I had to change my plan to go to university and study architecture. I had several different jobs but eventually opened my own business as, with the issues I have I need to be able to choose my hours and rest when I need to. I hope your daughter finds what's right for her. Retail can be a stressful environment. I am a holistic therapist, massage and counselling. I know others with TBI who work with animals or nature. Finding something she enjoys will be very important for your daughter. Good luck to you both.

[Nemo24]

What a horrible thing to have happened. The good managers are gold. Try to take it further as explanations may help if new manager is any good. Without someone else in meeting as unbias support its tricky if your daughter struggles with remembering too. Poor that they made her sign papers. Did she get a copy? Having been able to return to work part time there are real benefits the structure gave me & more self worth. Your daughter is very lucky to have you fighting her corner.

[Mads1975]

I returned to work after contracting TB meningitis. I had worked at the company for 12 years at that point was head of Dept. My BI meant I had zero verbal filter and reduced concentration. The filter was the area that continually tripped me up.

The psychologist I was seeing offered to meet with OH and my line manager to discuss the issues. He said that with some support there was no reason why I couldn’t continue in my role.

However I continued to be rated as underperforming so raised a grievance which I partially won. I was then contacted by HR who offered ill health retirement which I accepted due to the daily stress I found myself under.

Returning to work has been a real uphill struggle with most temp roles finishing early due to mishap related to my BI. For me it’s a case of digging down and marching on. My family needs my income and I want to reduce the amount of work my wife does to help support us as a family.

Best of luck - I feel that by you speaking to management about the challenges will help. Throwing in the odd reference to the disability discrimination act and the responsibilities to make reasonable adjustments may be helpful as I found it seemed to ease my path in some situations