Does anyone think being older or younger makes the process of having a brain injury easier to manage ?
Age: Does anyone think being older or younger makes... - Headway
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Savage12345
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There's two sides to this. The older you are the less time you have for the brain to relearn plus deterioration with natural ageing, the other side of this coin is you have more patience and life skills to draw on.
Hopefully the older person will have laid down more pathways in the brain over the years and with time these pathways can be "retired" to facilitate recovery.
Just my thoughts, at 62 now I am hopeful that I have enough years ahead of me to improve even more.
Good luck, Janet x
A pertinent point being if someone suffers a brain injury at say 85 it would be far more easier to come to terms with than say 20 ?
I feel myself being 21 it is harder to come to terms with than i would do if i was far older for example 85 as i have aspirations and dreams i no longer feel i can achieve. As a older person i could feel satisified with what i have achieved and feel more content than i feel now. I agree the problems that come with BI are difficult to deal with at any age.
I sympathise with your situation as you also sound too young to be caught up in this awful circumstance.
Can you see my point ?
I'm just VERY thankful that I got my ABI when my son was 19, on his birthday actually. It was hard enough cooking for him and looking after us and the house (best I could), I can't imagine how on earth I'd have looked after a little one let alone two or more. I really feel for people here who have ABI AND young child/children = hats off to you big-time, I think you have youngish son StrawCream?
And to get ABI before you've lived long or done much: I'm very grateful that I had done so much in my life before this happened to me, there is NO way I could ever do all those things (or any of them) after the ABI I have.
But I was in my prime (in my opinion) and so excited at my forthcoming freedom from parenting responsibilities: my son had just finished his A-levels and I had promised him I would never work full time away from home until he'd done that so bit before my op/ABI I was starting to look around and think what job I'd like to do - plus when he went off to uni after his year out I was planning to foster, I'd put that on hold from before because he wasn't keen/ready/too young. Fostering was something I really wanted to do (because I and my brother had been cared for by others after our parents died) and thought I might be quite good at, hopefully better than my guardians!
So although my life is wrecked and in tatters it's better (for me) that it happened later in life. But better still of course = it never happened but obviously can't undo it or turn the clock back, sadly.
I live with a huge sadness: I had worked so hard to bring up my son the best I could and make ends meet. We had some great holidays together but I can't remember much of them now just glimpses, tiny bits, too hard work to try remember.
That my relationship with my son has been destroyed has truly broken my heart. And he had to see his capable, fun, energetic, multi-tasking mum reduced to someone who's always tired, crying and resting in bed. I cringe when I think of the times he had friends round and I got SO angry/uptight because I needed QUIET, SO unfair and awful for him, he was very embarrassed at my behaviour, I can't ever undo that either.
I HATE my ABI, HATE what it's done to my life, my son's, my friends' and my family's, ABI touches so many and wrecks so very many lives. It is one of the cruellest because it can be so 'invisible' and is so poorly known about/understood = which makes our lives even harder than need be. Sorry, tired and rambling, VERY sad and low and tried to understand too much conversation this morning and she just scrambled me MORE = didn't keep it clear and simple for me. But I LOVE being with people: losing that (chat+), the extreme tiredness, the SLEEP probs, needing QUIET and not coping with complex/stress stuff = THESE are the saddest losses of all on top of family/friends = TOO MUCH.
I had mine when I was 20. Sucks to happen at such a young age, but recovery is better.
How you getting on now ?
Yeeeeeah I'm alright. Back at uni, which is a bit hard, but I'm lucky to be back at all. Gave me epilepsy too.
How old are you now?
Im 21 now, which uni you at ? do you ever feel disconnected from the world ?
I'm at Kent uni, you? Yeah, a lot of people here would use the word "disconnected" to describe how it feels now.
Kent uni is pretty cool , it has a massive campus !!
i was at northumbria but i graduated last summer. then this happens before i get a job.. lifes may challenges
50 is still an awful age to have a BI....
It is nice here...just been here waaaaay too long now.
I can imagine, i guess 4th year ?
I've been here 5 years now, but I'm in my third year. The uni's letting me divide my final year into two though, I'll be done in 2016.
Good on you, how you finding the work load ? i struggle with anything to do with writing and reading now, it just doesnt seem to go in
Hahaa, same here. Literally just handed in some work that I'm not particularly pleased with. I'm getting there though.
What course are you doing ? its reasuring to know that someone else is going through the same problems, although i wish we wernt
Neuroscience and Clinical Psychology (nice and relevant), what did you do?
sport science and coaching, did a dissertation on motivation, the irony now that i have none ha
There is quite simply no good age to get a brain injury and each person will have their own set of challenges to face along with those that are common to most if not all of us.
It sucks to lose potential and it sucks to lose everything you worked for/built up and the person you had become...
Brain injury is an equal ops destroyer of lives. It does not care what age you are, your religion, marital status, gender or orientation it does not discriminate between rich and poor and it definitely does not give a hoot if you had great plans...
Nope there is never a good time to get a brain injury
Hi Savage
As BSA says young age has the advantage of quicker recovery. however, I know I would have struggled even more to cope with a BI at 21. I am in my 40s and I believe I have more insight, patience etc now. conversely, 3 1/2 post BI I am not in paid employment. I lost my career and in the last year of my Masters at which point I had my TBI. I know I cannot return to finish, would I if I was younger , I do not know, and zip guess there is no point thinking like this.
BI continues to recover and with neuroplasticity, and you age, never give up on your dreams and aspirations. I would never had believed 2 years ago how much I have improved and acceptance, I thought I would never come. There is life after BI.
I too find it difficult to concentrate reading and digesting information.
Good luck
Thanks for your kind words, the world was at my feet and it just feels like it has been taken away from me, the most cruelist way possible.....
If you do not mind me asking when was BI?
6 weeks ago, im new too all this
Oh wow, that's not long ago, how'd it happen?
I suffered an anoxic brain injury, not enough oxygen was getting to my brain. Ive been put on antidepressants however dont think they are working that well
Oh gosh, it is very new. the shock, the accident, the stress of all is all so raw. I do not remember much at the beginning. I was sleeping a lot, and after two weeks in hospital sent home, not seen a neurologist, or the consequences of the accident, so I guess I was in blissful ignorance, until my follow up appointment and Headway 'breaking the bad news'.
Without sounding patronising, the recovery of a brain injury is slow, and I was very frustrated. The analogy I can think of a baby being born, and the development from born to toddling, to walking, could be correlated to BI. I hope I have not offended you, but with milestones, you will see progress. At the moment, perhaps contact your local Headway group, neurologist knows the mechanics, but neuropsychologist and Headway, and us of course know the emotions, symptoms, and knowing how you are feeling.
I am not surprised you feel like the world was at your feet and now been taken away.mmYes BI is cruel, awareness is our world is c...., but Headway and neuropsychologist will help you.
You need to rest and take care of yoursel. Listen to your body. It is hard to slow down, I tried to fight it and went out about 8 weeks after BI, and collapsed at the train station flat out on the floor. Not one of my finest moments :).
Take care and any time you want to chat we here 
Thankyou for your kind words, yeah it still is very raw.... it is nice when other people can give advice on this platform
Oh my six weeks in is like newborn in terms of BI recovery 
(pre born in some cases because some people were still not conscious six weeks after injury) and you have bags of time to regain all the potential... just take it easy and be gentle with yourself as your bashed brain tries to make sense of what the heck happened.
Can we ask what happened/what kind of injury you sustained?
I suffered an anoxic brain injury, not enough oxygen was getting to my brain.....
yes there is alot of time however it just seems so hard to do anything atm, and im suffering from severe apathy which sucks but what can you do. Also been put on antidepressants as i was quiet unstable...
Take your time here, it's such a trauma and I wish I'd slowed down thinking back on it.
Have you got your family/friends around?
Yeah i do have them around however, i just kind of want to keep myself to myself, im a very proud man who has had everything i was proud of about me taken away. Its hard losing all your charisma and laughter.
Why do you wish you had slowed down ?
They'll come back, I was worried about the same stuff.
I would have recovered much quicker if I'd just laid low for a year, but I was too busy showing everyone how well I was to understand the gravity of my situation.
You'll never lose charisma
strong words of inspiration i like it, layying low for a year is a hard prospect but i guess it could be beneficial...
i guess you over did it ? when your brain was trying to rewire itself ?
Yes charisma i suppose is a state of mind, cant take the spirit out of the lion
From what I can see of your posts Savage 12345 you are very self aware...
When I was at a similar stage time wise I was still sleeping 22 out of every 24 hours ...initially because everything exhausted me and then because I had zero idea what the hell had happened and was terrified that if anyone found out they would think I had gone mad and would lock me up and throw away the key.
It took me about two years I think to figure out which way was up... and then I started to realise what I had lost ...
It has been a long and interesting journey to reach this point. There are things I still miss but for the most part my little bubble isn't a bad place to be
You will once again find where you fit in the world...it just takes time and these things simply cannot be rushed. Might as well sit back and relax ...
Hi my daughter talked about losing her life as she is only 25. She had qualified as a paramedic and loved the job and her life then bang a freak RTA and all gone. She has been in hospital since Feb last year but we have light at end of tunnel as coming home on 20th of this month. She is looking at further education as needs to retrain after having her contract with the ambulance service terminated through ill health as would like to return to some kind of work in the future - so thats a good sign as now seems to be in better spirits (perhaps due to antidepressants). She has come on cognitively massively in last few months - physically still not able to walk or talk and we hope this will all continue improving as time goes on. People keep saying a year is nothing in BI but sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago since I had my beautiful girl pre accident- although she will always be my beautiful girl. The "specialists" say younger people do better but as every injury and person is different they dont give you too much hope which is so hard. Its not like a physical injury that has some kind of timeline for recovery, this seems to be a finger in the wind scenario. I wish you all the very best in your recovery, you have found a good place to come if you need to talk or ask things from people who actually have experienced things that you might be facing.
Kath
x
Wow,Savage,as others have said,six weeks is barely enough time to have recognised the impact of your injury,let alone come to terms with it or worked out coping strategies.Some healing occurs by itself,other things may need some work-neuroplasticity,the retraining and rewiring of pathways by repetition.I have read that the younger brain heals/learns quicker than the older model,much like the optimal time for learning/education is in our childhood/early adulthood years so you have this advantage on your side.As also previously said,you have more years left than an older person to continue in recovery.With such a fresh injury it is important to rest plenty and not push yourself too hard.Things have changed for you right now but all is not lost.You are doing amazin' well for only six weeks on : ) x
I had my TBI @ 13 and although that was over 50 years ago my memory of the post TBI treatment was none existent ( I never received any treatment after coming out of the coma ) and I think being a youngster helped me recover to a certain extent over the years - even though I still have problems to this day
Best Wishes
9 years on I'm still really struggling to try learn/remember/understand HOW to be my best and what WORKS for me.
I just went to bed for an hour and half but brain wouldn't stop and kept going into panic mega stress, tried SO hard to let thoughts go (as told to) but CAN'T, not my fault and not from want of trying.
So STILL exhausted got up. Body/torso bit shaky (trying to hold it up, happens lots) so thought (through treacle): I maybe haven't eaten enough so must so just ate 94.30pm here) small bowl of oats, milk and sugar = it seems to help, often have one latish eve when hungry after evening meal and BAD if go to bed hungry, I think it help a bit.
But lying in bed trying to REST = so many things want and need to try do: MEGA lists of them. And the months, years roll by and more get added to list than I can do. HOW to deal with THAT? People say PRIORITISE but loads of them are urgent and can't do at all or properly and can't seem to LEARN or do then forget.
I think my age is BAD for this? I was 48 (just before 49) when I was injured and had NO help at all, worked so hard myself to adapt me or things = to try to do much as possible I did before. Was proud but now am getting so much more insight into HOW injured I am and the way I have to work SO hard to try to do things that were so easy before.
And yes, we all get more tired as we get older, have less time to adjust and adapt. People say older people are 'set in their ways' but I think I was less set in my ways (more flexible) than many but yes, you are USED TO being how you are, used to knowing what can and can't do well and who to ask for help, experts and so on. But now I really NEED expert help I can't get it.
I'm broken by the struggle, devastated at all I've lost = almost everything I held dearest: my family and friends & neighbours, my job, my fit strong body, my quick and capable brain, my muscles, having NO pain throughout my life (I know I was lucky), a job I loved, stamina, laughter, social life, can-do (or at least try!) loads of things. Lost going to the cinema, restaurants, busy places, cooking, eating with people, understanding what I watch/read, travel... too much to list but I lost ME, my identity, who I was.
So MUCH of what I've lost relies on memory, stamina and controlling my body and what I say and how I feel/react. I'd never thought about ANY of this before so I think that is one of my new skills now BUT: I can't rely on myself to ever say, do or BE how I need/want to be to use this skill, if indeed it is one: what I just wrote says it isn't coz if skill is only there sometimes (and can't be relied on) then it isn't a proper skill.
I used to be able to protect myself and now I can't. Other day a man in street asked if he could kiss me and I couldn't say anything coz trying to think what say and how to say it. Docs keep asking if can take blood pressure, touch me and stuff and I go into SHOCK and 'allow' even though don't want it. This really scares me and I hate how this shock (I think that's what it might be?) makes me lose my strength and go sort of 'not there'. Really scary stuff because I was SO much better at things like that before, NEED it to try protect myself but I've LOST that too.
So I've been trying to find out WHO I am now but I vary so much, never did before. Yes little ups and downs but NOTHING even remotely like I am now. Some days can do far better at everything than others. I talk and people say you sound very lucid but I don't FEEL it and can't remember after (and during) what I've said/they said. I TRY to write things down but can't do it all at once = I fail and home COVERED in notes, writings, papers. So when ABIers told to WRITE it = doesn't work for ME, I can't be the ONLY one, I'm sure.
Sometimes I feel like I'm swallowed up and drowning in my sadness at all I've lost, the lost me, MY LOST LIFE. People say 'don't wallow in it' and 'move on' = I try SO hard to do those things but BAM I try to do something and fail, again and again, forget what meant to learn, the many practices haven't helped so BAM I tumble down into the pit of despair and each time have to try recover, gradually try climb out and each time it's HARDER not easier = coz I'm NOT learning.
And when I express how I feel I'm told I'm wrong, exaggerating, looking for attention, too demanding. And I'm too tired to argue or my thoughts are too scrambled or it's a BAD day for my words/speech = I can't argue, often. But sometimes, when at my best, I can. So how to be my best? easy: remove all the MEGA stresses being thrown at me. Ahh but those loading them onto me refuse to hear me when I cry out in pain because I just cry and the words don't come out = that is how I AM,not my fault,hate it yes but not my fault, I try change, sometimes can other days not. Less stress = better me = better for everyone.
So who am I now? There are so many more bits of me now, before I felt solid and stable now I feel like I've been shattered into pieces and experience extremes of despair I couldn't even imagine before. And I've lost the highs I always had, the utter joy, amazement and fun I used to experience, that loss is also devastating.
Who am I? What am I good at? What have I learned compared to what have I lost? The losses WAY outweigh my learning/gains. Really the only thing I've gained is a bit of understanding of ABI and disability, nothing else real I think. My gains can never ever earn enough or give me enough satisfaction to EVER cover my losses = I'm left to try deal with them best I can but I'm not doing very well and to me that is SHOCKING.
Yes, I was somewhat in denial about how badly my brain (and mind = same?!) were injured but afterABI we all do that, refuse to accept we've changed, think working really hard will get us back, the docs think that's the case, everyone does but that isn't reality, they are deluded and we believe their delusions because they have become 'fact'. Our realities are denied and described as delusions, at present it appears it suits ALL that we blame ourselves for not being good enough, too lazy/not working hard enough rather than others/society for not adapting to OUR needs.
But maybe, just maybe, society is ready to listen to us and believe us = and WANTS to know and learn? I'd like to think so just to me it doesn't really feel so. MY fault?How it feels to me is WRONG and I am deluded = they all DO want to know and put barriers in my way hoping I could explain how it feels SO they can learn? I try to say but often (mostly) fail: I haven't got the words, can't draw or paint it and now often too exhausted even to type = and it HURTS to type. Therefore I am (mostly) silenced.
I spent ALL day a week ago (last Sunday) trying SO hard to write things I think are important but I FAILED, I exhausted myself, I couldn't DO it and that made me fall to bits, crying in utter fear and desolation: I THOUGHT I could do it but I CAN'T (I was deluded/wrong), so I rang Samaritans coz nobody else and kind lady let me cry and try to explain (to her/myself) what i found can't do = YET MORE (losses of ME), thanks to her for listening and putting up with my tears, snot and blubbering = SO different from who I was before.
And I'm told to ACCEPT the new me, this person who's so different from the ME had been all my life, this ALIEN I don't know or recognise = STILL. I'm trapped with this ME, no help to try improve, to try learn BETTER, I so NEED help, the 'help' I've had so far has helped me SEE how i am better, tried to help me NOT be in denial? will this help with ACCEPTANCE though? I'm not sure, think I need real help with some of it: help me learn/adapt better and make my ENVIRONMENT adapt and make it fit ME better.
Sorry, lost it, keep forgetting what I'm trying to say, not my fault but annoying for everyone else, sorry.
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