Has your health had an impact on your couple, family or social relationships?

[headwayuk]

Or have your relationships had an impact on your health?

Relate would love to hear from you!

Relate is launching a campaign calling for better relationship support for people with physical and mental health conditions, and Headway is working with them to make sure that this includes people with a brain injury.

If you’re happy to write a blog, share your story in the media or attend a focus group in London on 25th February (or all three!) please email Helen at Relate on [e-mail] and include a short paragraph about your experiences. If you would like to be involved but need extra support to do so please just let us know; we will do what we can to make it as easy as possible for you to take part.

[Matt2584]

My BI has had an effect on my relationship/s.

Couples... Well there never was a couple really. I had my BI hit me when I was a wee boy and since then I have had no partner. I'm pretty used to being single though and would prefer to see the fun side and that is, look at all the money I have :).

That was not a personal advertisement to golddiggers I hope you know :).

Family... Well, I get on much better with my Mum and Bro rather than my Dad. I think it is mainly because my Dad is a difficult person. My Mum is brilliant support for me.

Social relationships are much better than what they were. For years I was a very anti social person. I still struggle at times in a social setting because I have weak muscles notable in the face and therefore I have a speech impedement, I struggle to pronounce words with Bs, Ps and Ms in them as my lips cannot naturally press together. So I like to talk when people like to listen to me but I have been in encounters where people clearly do not want to listen to me or do not use theirears and rely on their eyes only. This infuriates me.

I have spoken to an electrician who came to our door one day and all he was doing was staring at the way I looked and not listened to what I was saying to him! I could've, and probably should've said to him "Could you please leave now, I do not speak to people who stare" but that is where a lack of confidence would stop me. One thing I will add is that having a BI has made me a nicer person or made me realise how nice I am and yet I still have bad things happen to me like this ignorant person I was talking about.

[RogerCMerriman in reply to Matt2584]

thats the thing about looking different or even behaving different, for a lot of folks they are simply scared and haven't a clue what to do.

Lot of the guys I work with public are terrified off, on the average younger folks cope better and female better than male.

accompany young autistic folks about, it's older folks in partical blokes who look terrified and can't work out what to do, while young women are totally not bothered and occasionally initiate conversation, for my self when I was still quite wobbly and probably a little odd behaving, it was youngster who came up to ask "are you okay? do you need a hand?" while older folk kept their distance.

on the whole young are braver and less scared by differences.

[Hidden]

Relationship broke down, remember his phone calls after ABI at start. He'd had same everything (apparently) but FAR WORSE and kept ringing in night and woke me.

Relationships with friends & family BROKEN, destroyed which further destroys me. Alone, no help or support anywhere: life not worth living = as I told counsellors in 2007 but nobody cared or did anything, dumped.

LOVE socialising but can't: talking/try understand wears me out as do public places: noise, lights, movement etc. Left out of pretty much everything: eves out and most afternoons unless relaxing e,g, on beach. Rest/sleep afternoons.

No idea news, culture, music, tech, left behind in all of it. Too much to say.

[sporan]

I have a brain tumour which is also causing epilepsy plus my wifes father has dementia (currently hospitalised) so our family life is more than a bit stressful and we sometimes snap at each other but mostly it has been strange in that it has brought us closer. I do my best to support and comfort her over her Dad's condition and the support that I get from my wife and two children is amazing.

The best part about them is that they don't treat me any differently than before I lost the 'me' I used to be and make allowances for my sudden mood changes or fatigue. They don't always get it right but then neither do I so we accept that as part of our relationship.

I think part of the reason is that I have taken my wife into my consultations, at my recent neuropsychology assement psychologist explained to my wife the reasons behind the changes, and the fact that I have been totally honest and open about what I feel and how I feel I'm affected and vice-versa.

The other factor is, I guess, that I have a good sense of humour that allows us to laugh about some of the things I say, don't say or do.

[ZEBLET17]

RELATIONSHIP EXCELLENT. I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR 33 YEARS & I COULDN'THAVE A BETTER PARTNER/

FAMILY DON'T ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME & NEVER HAVE. I HAVE NO MEMORY OF THE 2 WEEKS AFTER THE ABI BUT I KNOW THEY WEREN'T THERE WHEN THE FOG STARTED TO LIFT ( IT TOOK 5 MONTHE INEVER HAD A SINGLE VIVIT. MY SISTER HAS ALWAYS BEEN

[ZEBLET17 in reply to ZEBLET17]

REPLIED TO ABOVE BEFORE MEANT TO. MY SISTER HAS BEEN UNCARING TOTHE POINY OF VISCIOUNESS.

SOCIAL LIFE NONE. 2 CLOSE FRIENDS DUMPEDME. NOOTHER SOCIAL L IFE NONE. I HAVE PANIC ATTACS WHEVER I HAVE TO GO OUT. IHVE ADJUSTED TO IT & DON'T REALLY CARE IF THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BEEVEN 17 YRS AFTER THE ABI

I WISH EVERY PEACE TO EVERYONE.

[headwayuk Partner Headway]

Hi all,

Many thanks for your replies to this - it's clear that brain injury has a huge effect on relationships, and any work that can improve understanding and support can only be a good thing.

If anyone is interested in taking part in this, please do get in touch with Helen at Relate on [e-mail]

Don't forget we're always here at Headway to provide any support we can. Contact our helpline on 0808 800 2244 or [e-mail] if you would like to talk anything through.

Best wishes,

Headway

[vimto]

YES lots of us have lost so very much . . .

[aqua4]

Yes, I knew why I was different but why were they?