I have just written an introduction about myself and lost it so here goes again!
My son who is in his forties had a subarachnoid haemorrhage 3 years ago. It was undiagnosed for more than 2 weeks, then he had a second bleed and it was still undiagnosed for a few more days.
Miraculously he made what we considered to be a full recovery. To see him you would never know he had been so seriously ill.
Recently he has seen a neuropsychologist and before even getting the report it has made us both realise that there is some damage. Things we thought were irrelevant were important as were things we felt embarrassing, they too were important. I have begun to look up things on the internet and there are so many things we can relate to. It has been a real eye opener!
I became aware of this community after asking for advice from Headway. My son is separated but has his children regularly, I help him sometimes as it can be a bit overwhelming. He can be childlike with them and have lots of fun but he can also get bad tempered at times if there is too much going on eg TV, talking, noise, children not doing as they're told. This is normal in every household but sometimes things can get blown up out of proportion and a mountain can be made out of a molehill, as the saying says. I wondered if Headway had a factsheet suitable for children aged 9-12 to help them understand why their dad can be moody. Anyway, as a result of that question they made me aware of this forum.
I help my son to organise some things he struggles with, we nearly always end up arguing, I feel he can't be bothered and he feels he can't cope. It is only now that I recognise I 'bombard' him with things but he can only cope with a couple of things at a time.
I have been feeling upset and guilty because it is only now I feel we are beginning to understand and come to terms with what happened. We have argued a lot more and misunderstood each other a lot more too. He has tried to talk to me but I don't think I listened properly or took it on board. I have spoken to him too but I don't think he's understood where I've been coming from.
It has done me good to share on this page. I have been supportive but with no real understanding. Little things have seemed insignificant but they are important to understand. Hopefully now we are more aware we will be more understanding and find solutions to the difficulties we didn't really realise were difficulties (if that makes sense).
One thing we've both learnt is that just because you can work, walk, talk, look after your children, look fine it doesn't mean that everything is fine. It doesn't mean everything is terrible either but it may mean we need to be more understanding, talk and listen more.
Anyway, thanks for reading this, I'm sure I'll learn a lot from reading your posts.