Hello

[Julesgettingthere]

Hi PJ

My place of work were the opposite - but it ended in a long fight for me, it was like watching something slowly die in front of you. No matter how hardn i tried I couldn't produce what i used to.

My thoughts are with you for what you are going through.

I only discovered headway a few months ago - but I find it keeps me going with the dark days. Today is a going to be a dark day.

I know you will understand when I say I can go from 'actually ok' to zero and dark in moments. Its a horrible place which I wish I had never seen.

But there are many on headway suffering a lot more than me and some that have been 'there' and have come through. I talk strength from these lovely people

Kindest regards

Julesgettingthere(not today)

[cat3]

I can identify with the mood swings Jules. In the blink of en eye you can be dragged from doing quite well to that cr@p place with no explanation whatsoever................

Chocolate is a great pick-me-up ; I always have some handy !

[Danslatete]

Hi Julles, I too have days where I wish I didn't have to see or speak to anyone, those are the days I usually get angry at what was. I start doing the if only this had happened. It gets me no where fast but I can't seem to control it.

Today is a tired day, I went to bed early last night but when I got up I am incredibly tired like I need another six hours sleep..

I really like having somewhere to be brutally honest and there is always posts that pick you up with positivity!

[Nutkin33]

Hi there. I know exactly how you feel. I grew up with horses in my life, and became a qualified coach, and showjumped at a high level. I now dislike horses! And they were the only hobby I knew. Now, at 50, I have to find other interests, and it's so hard. Maybe one day I will be better, and get my old hobby back!

[Julesgettingthere in reply to Nutkin33]

Hi Nutkin

Love your Headway name...!

I know how you feel - motorbikes and my job were all i loved and all i was good at and all i had.

Being told to find new interests just doesn't do it for me - i didn't and still don't have any other interests - whats the point in trying to develop an interest. The desire I had for biking and my work came from my genes - i don't want to be false and say i enjoy something that just doesn't 'do it'. I don't think i described that very well, sorry.

You use the words 'have to find other interests' so I thing you will understand.

Problem is, when you have part of what is actually part of 'you' taken away, there is a void. That leaves me with an empty sad feeling and i do wonder daily what the actual point of it all is if there is no enjoyment.

On saying that - i have just read some replies to my posts yesterday - funny, they made me laugh. \i was talking about me using my brain card. The amount of times we all here say 'because i lost it' or going back out to get the milk i forgot' at such - it seems like a Monty Python script sometimes..... I do still adore Monty Python .... maybe we should all group up and right a script about the irony of brain injury someday.

I had 4 replies to my post from yesterday - each of them are sad, but each of them also gave me a little lift., some a little giggle as I can completely see me in what they have said.

Regards

Juliesgettingthere(better today)