Burnt out.

[B_S_A]

I'm in my uni house at the moment (which is a miracle by itself), and I've been here for about 8 weeks now, which is great, but now I sort of just walk around in a fog.

It's a weird feeling, I can walk around and do stuff, but it feels like someone else is doing it for me, even as I type this, it feels like somebody else is controlling my hands. I can talk to people, but it's like I'm listening to two other people having a conversation. What I love is that what I'm hearing makes sense, I can tell what I'm saying makes sense, and I can see that the other person has responded to what I've said. Whether I laugh, or am interested, or agree with somebody, it doesn't feel like I'm the one doing it.

I met my friend and his new girlfriend the other day, and I know that the conversation made sense, but I didn't really feel like I was "there". I spoke to people and they spoke back, but I didn't feel like I was a part of my own discussion.

Weird, anyone else know what I mean?

[hayabusa]

That's interesting, I have that feeling sometimes. Where I am talking but it sounds like someone else because I am deep inside my head and it feels like I am further away from my own voice. It's hard to describe, but yes I wonder who is speaking although it's me.

Like being detached from yourself?

How's uni?

[B_S_A in reply to hayabusa]

Yeah that's exactly right!

Uni's good, but it does make me sad when I compare it to how it used to be... Coursework is hard too because it's hard to keep all of the important stuff in the right order in my head. But I've been at uni for the longest stretch of time ever since the stroke at the moment, so that's great

How's things for you?

[hayabusa in reply to B_S_A]

There is no going back to how it used to be. Finding out what your new limitations are takes a few years, but do you ever come to terms with them?

I would like to go to Uni and I went to see a course tutor about starting and they really wanted me there !! But because of the mess with constant changes to the benefits system, it was pointless until all the changes have settled down. Also I have no confidence in the DWP to mess it up or give me false information. The DWP is the most unprofessional, incompetent and often dishonest group I have ever been anywhere near. Because of the DWP I will not take the risk. Sorry about the big negative, but the DWP are totally unprofessional. I am concerned.

There were numerous issues about access to the uni that were very bluntly obvious to me, but they were of the strong opinion it had been compliance tested for disabled access. You know what we say about lack of understanding of disabled access? It would help if those guys could understand how to use a measuring tape ! lol Got to laugh at people.

[cat3]

A psychiatrist I used to see called that feeling 'derealisation' and explained that it is common among depressives. It's apparently the brain refusing to fully engage with external stimuli, literally owing to 'burn out'. Try a few long, quiet walks and plenty of sleep, and be sure to eat properly............hypoglycaemia can cause that particular sensation.

[B_S_A in reply to cat3]

I don't think I'm depressed...but all that other stuff makes sense

[Kirk5w7]

I had that feeling regularly at first, not so much now, I feel like I've finally rejoined the real world, I think as Cat says its down to pushing yourself too much and a bit of depression, lots of rest and eat the right things xxxxx

[B_S_A in reply to Kirk5w7]

That's great to hear! Haha, you're both like parents

[cat3 in reply to B_S_A]

Yes Ben, it's what we both do best

[DavidSugg]

Hi yes i know exactly how you feel i am OK until i am with a lot of people like going shopping i am walking around in a trance nothing seems real it's like i am seeing things through someone else's eyes i have ended up being so freaked out by this i beat a hasty retreat and go home ending up getting nothing i went shopping for Dave

[cat3]

'Seeing things through someone else's eyes' ............feels strangely familiar & a good metaphor. It would be interesting to hear other's interpretations of this 'out of body' feeling as it's obviously not uncommon.

[B_S_A in reply to cat3]

When I think about it too much, I panic and my chest gets tight. I just want to go back so badly, and just feel that clear feeling again. I know that it's going to be this way for a long time as well...

[cat3 in reply to B_S_A]

You've nailed the secret Ben ................... over-thinking ! You're creating too much adrenalin and probably taking in too much oxygen (over-breathing) both of which will produce odd sensations In the head & tightness in the chest.............& a host of other symptoms which can often culminate in panic attacks.

Have you taken that long brisk walk yet ?

[B_S_A in reply to cat3]

Nonono, this stuff strikes me as I'm doing stuff, I notice that I'm walking around on autopilot and then "me" kicks in, I notice how weird it feels, then I panic.

[cat3 in reply to B_S_A]

OK Ben. I do understand how disturbing and inexplicable it is. I tried to explain this sensation as far back as my schooldays but there was unanimous advice to just 'put up or shut up' & was even accused of attention-seeking (which was a joke as the one thing I dreaded was attention)

Eventually, aged 16. my GP referred me to a psychiatrist who told me it was a common symptom in depressives. The term he used for it was 'de-realisation' and he asked me "Is it like you are standing outside your own body?"..........so he obviously had the gist.

I also have a friend who regularly complains of this sensation so, what I'm trying to convey, is that it probably isn't something to worry about. Worrying and over-thinking can often cause panic symptoms which can become even more intrusive, so maybe it would be a good idea for you to mention it to your GP, if only for reassurance.

I honestly do feel for you, having had this intermittently throughout my life. The only sure thing I can tell you is that stress seems to exacerbate it ( probably by increasing the over-load).

Try to keep wading through it Ben & I suspect it will clear.........soon I hope !

x

[mckenzie1301]

sounds a lot like concision ?

[hayabusa]

Its not like out of body for me, its me inside my head and listening to my voice as if its further away and not me speaking. Like my voice is on autopilot and I am not really connected with the words.

A lot of noise and multiple noise sources shuts me down. My brain just can't handle it and goes into crisis mode and tries to shut all the noise out. But that's a different thing to what we are talking about.