People say things, crass things. Some of the comments I suspect are wishful thinking, ie They don't want to think about this, Used to get it more when I was younger regarding dyslexia.
Fundamentally it's a invisible injury for most part and people want to believe it will all be right.
Brilliant! Enjoy the punch bag. Think I might have to get one myself.
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY "OH IT'LL BE ALRIGHT" I FIND IT PATRONISING & DISMISSIVE. LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING - IT ISN'T ALRIGHT. IF YOU DON'T GET IT AT LEAST GIVE ME SOME UNDERSTANDING WHEN I CAN'T DO SOMETHING. GRRR
Well done Ben, it's hard to keep smiling sometime, but if you get that punchbag think of the improvement in your upper body muscles, not that I'm saying you need it but a positive from a negative. I'm trying to do that these daysxxxxx
Thinking back to pre-BI days, I wouldn't have had a clue what to say to someone with a brain injury but I'm still angry with the lack of empathy. But really, if you didn't need to, would you go out of your way to learn about brain issues and how they can affect people or would you just get on with your own selfish concerns...........I suspect I would. I'm compassionate by nature but this is such a complex & difficult subject that I might stick to concerning myself with less challenging issues. I would try to be supportive if faced with an affected individual, but I bet I would utter many of those cringe-worthy platitudes because that's all I'd have available.
We've had the experience; others haven't and can't be expected to fully appreciate the fine details. It really is a case of having to go through it to get even the slightest conception of its affects. But make no mistake Ben, I agree with all you're saying.
You can't really get annoyed at anyone though, I think I'd probably say the same stuff to them if they were in my position and I was perfectly healthy.
I think I've probably told people to man up in the past during bad times, I should probably punch me in the face first.
I had forgotten about this (along with everything else since 2006 LOL) but I agree with number 9...I did not ever feel lucky even though lots of people said it...and they said it more so because there were three other very similar accident cases around the same time and I was the only one who did survive.... but it really would have helped for someone to tell me I am awesome...awesome is so much better than lucky
One thing that annoys me is, oh we all forget things! It comes with age. And you were really lucky to not have broken your body, I think I would have preferred broken bones to a broken brain. It horrid when you say I'm really tired I can't think, and they say you've hardly done anything all day.
Do you think I can use your punch bag when you've finished
I get so fed up with the stares, I wear a protective helmet when I'm out and about b ecause I still have a big hole in my skull. Some stares are pitiful, sorry ones; others are as if I'm an alien. But people stare, and if I take the helmet off I still get them because my hair is short at the front and long at the back. Its hard enough dealing with the BI without having to deal with staring idiots.
The other issue is because I have ecovered so well cognitively, certain people seem to think I am fully recovered and that I'm "ok". They don't understand why I am depressed or low, that I'm self concious. I just get told, whats wrong with you?? and your fine now NO IM EFFING WELL NOT Grrrrraaaaah.
So I get where your coming from mate. I am hoping "things will get better" and "that I'll be ok", but I'm not overly convinced sometimes x
I for most part look and act fine, so have to tread that line between going on about it, and ignoring it. ie I want people to realise I'm mostly fine but now and then not so.
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Feeling guilty
