And so it's just now dawning on me...

[B_S_A]

As uni is coming to an end for most of the people I know, it's got me thinking about what the hell I'm going to do when I finish.

I have a lot of plans and that, and there are a lot of opportunities to take advantage of. I need to conduct some kind of study for the final year of my course for example. But this will be over a year, and with my very unpredictable health, I wonder if I can commit to something like that. It's all very frustrating.

Then results come in August to tell me if my surgery is actually working, and then this absolutely life altering epilepsy, so sometimes I think; "Am I going to have to live for another 60 odd years?".

This is really killing me at the moment, and the thought of not being able to build the future the way I want it is just unbearable. Anyone feeling the same?

[BaronC]

Most people, in fact almost everyone, has to alter the future they see for themselves at a young age. In that respect you're not actually that different to most. Understandably however, your own plans must change for reasons that the huge majority of the population can never understand.

But, you do have a future and a future where your 'issues' may get in the way, but they wont ever stop you from pursuing. Obviously my own plans had to alter drastically when my 'issues' reared their ugly little heads. Had the accident never happened, I would be now running a construction based recruitment agency in Eastern Germany. But...

Because your future changes so drastically, you can and will build a future and a future in which you will learn from your issues and grow stronger for it. And eventually you might just decide that the future you built for yourself aint so bad after all.

Good luck

Andy

[B_S_A in reply to BaronC]

I'm struggling to adjust to it, I'm running my life like I used to and it's killing me. But I don't know how to operate any other way.

[SAMBS]

Hi ben, you have done so well to get this far already. Andy has given you some great support and advice with his answer. Believe you me even at age 66, I still want to achieve more than I have - I still have a life to live - I now accept it will be harder than I thought 1 year ago before separation and at my age, BI and then Car Accident. - but you inspired me with your question about the future and you seem to imply it may be a future of more study, an operation and coping with epilepsy.

As a student you may not have seen it recently, but there was 4/5 week series on Brain Surgery on CH5 - conducted at the widely acknowledged best brain surgery hospital in the UK, it was in Liverpool I think (memory again, sorry) One episode was about a brain operation on a young girl who was epileptic and they managed to cauterise the affected part of her brain which stopped the epilepsy. Perhaps for you its worth looking into that and seeing if you have any options there.I don't know what your operation in summer is for.

As an alternative reply: I don't know what course you were on and what subject you were studying. A life of study may or may not be what you want or want to accept - but if it has to be, how about a period of research and a thesis, based on the research into effects of Brain Injury using our post-BI effects, posted here on Headway, as your source of initial information. If its what you want and if Headway agreed.

We BI's have all said how, nobody, friends/often family can understand the changes we undergo with personality, mood swings, why we can't concentrate, remember things, and you know yourself about the many problems there are with a BI, however it is caused.

The Medical professionals know WHAT a Brain Injury is in terms of physiology. But that seems to be pretty much all , they do not necessarily relate to the disorders caused by it - [ Headway Staff excluded from that comment]. What is the effect on our thinking and reasoning, our personalities,short term memory loss, coping mechanisms,

Headway go a long way with their leaflets /support centres, available to us and/or their families after a B.I. None of us I suspect even knew what a B I was till we had our own. We now know and understand our own, hopefully, but how much do our peers understand?

I am not an academic - but I always want to know why why why, how how how and that's the best I can ask.

You were already here on HW when I joined early last summer and I've seen the praise and support you have had here from people like Baron C, Cat3, Kirk 5Fw, Bikerelifestyle et al.

I wish you well for your results, academic and neurological - you are young and strong, . You WILL achieve, stay strong and believe in yourself! You have a long productive future awaiting you.

Shirley x x

[B_S_A in reply to SAMBS]

Thank you very much for that I actually feel much better.

[lifelonglearner]

HI B_S_A. I'd look at things this way. You have got it all ahead of you, but there are likely to be far more positives that negatives. A path through life is never clear-cut for the vast majority of people, in fact it's crazy paving and you have to lay it yourself as you go along. Like the mountaineers who climb Everest often write.....take each step one at a time, by-pass or get help to cross the tricky places and before you know it you'll be where you were heading for. Have a great journey!