Has any one else had dealings with A Deputyship Order?

[millie67]

Just wondered as I am thinking of letting our Solicitors become Deputy for my partner, I wanted to become Deputy myself but no sure if I can take on the extra work load and worry it will create at the moment. I just wondered if any one else had gone down the Solicitor route and how it all went for them? I am very independent and don't really want a Solicitor telling me how to run mine and our daughters life but not sure what else to do at the moment. Thanks

[ncmurphy1951]

millie only one person can decide and thats you but if you decide to be very clear with their terms of reference no advice or ordering about outside their brief lawyers do tend to play the almighty telling all and sundry how to run their lives etc etc

[millie67]

Thanks, yes that is what is worrying me at the moment..

[bikerlifestyle]

i have no experience of it but ncmurphy makes a good point, if you can get them just to cover the legal aspect but not the decision aspect with your decision being final (obviously letting him advise you where necessary)

but yes as long as you can keep the decisions as your own but let him deal with th e logistics then it sounds ok, but i would get that in black n white simple to understand jargon before i said yes

[headwayuk Partner Headway]

Hi Millie,

The court order should define pretty tightly what the deputy can do, and there is oversight from the Office of the Public Guardian and the Court of Protection to make sure they stick to this - you do have people to report any concerns to if necessary. A good solicitor with experience of brain injury should be able to work with the family to reach the compromise of protecting the individual and allowing a good level of personal freedom.

We do have a booklet 'Supporting people to make decisions: Applying the Mental Capacity Act' that I'd be happy to send you if you like? It explains the process of becoming a deputy and how professional deputies get involved.

Just send us your full name and address via a private message and I can post that out to you.

Best wishes,

Headway.

[millie67]

Thanks Headway, you sent me the booklet a while ago which was very useful, I think my problem is I worry about giving away control of my life as well as my partners....I do have his best interest at heart and will always listen to the professionals about what they suggest is best for him, as he is in a PVS he can make no decisions of his own. The thing that worries me most is having no financial control over my life, they will have control over our property and any finance the deem I am worthy of!!

[Dorsetcharlie]

Hi Millie

My Jake's deputy was provided by our solicitors.

I believe that a deputy can be the right choice to reduce the burden on you, but that it is really important to be clear about what you want from them and don't just agree to it like I did!

There are pros and cons of having a deputy working at the same firm as your solicitors and on balance it's probably a good thing whilst you're in the civil court process. We will definitely be changing deputy once our case is settled!

What I have learned is:

Meet the deputy first - ultimately they will control the money and it is important that you like them and have the opportunity to be clear about what you do and don't want from them (the court of protection is pretty rigid about what is required of a deputy, but the way it's done can make a massive difference to your sanity!)

Your deputy will likely be an experienced solicitor...great at the big legal stuff, not all that good at specific detail. Follow every discussion with a quick email confirming your understanding - this takes two minutes and saves all sorts misunderstandings and worry.

Don't be afraid to ask - to begin with I felt guilty about every penny I asked for, creating financial problems for myself unnecessarily. Now I just ask and, so long as it's in Jake's best interest it's never a problem.

Don't estimate - if you need money for something extra do the research first before you ask for the cash...and then add a bit! It's much easier and less upsetting to go back with the news that there's money left than feeling you have to go back cap in hand for more!

If your deputy starts to become a bit if a nazi about it all and you're finding it hard to work with them, ask you solicitor to speak to them and remind them that their client would be pretty stuffed without you (I have employed this 'emergency' strategy twice in the last year and it has saved me from going insane). When they (inevitably) call you about it BE HONEST about how they've made you feel. You are so important in this process and they sometimes need to be reminded of that.

Once we have settled we are going to take our time to find a local professional deputy who we can regularly meet face to face and who we can set expectations with right from day one.

I'd be really happy to share more of our experience with you Millie so pm me if you want to get in touch.

Good luck and remember you're a hero!

Charlie x

[millie67 in reply to Dorsetcharlie]

Thanks for your reply Charlie, will try and pm you later on with a message in more detail. x

[pollyanne]

Personally we like to be in control of everything ourselves. My OH was 'court protected' and it was a pain so we went to neurologists etc to prove that his mental capacity had improved so that he could make his own decisions and get on with our lives ourself but i realise it totally depends on the situation. Look at the cost as well and who makes choices regarding investments etc . Good luck its a minefield

[millie67 in reply to pollyanne]

Thank you, its awful, I hate the fact someone we don't know will be in charge of our lives...I want to do it myself but the seem to be forcing me into a corner over it all.