Parenting with a brain injury - any advice for a sleep deprived new mum?

[GT84]

Hi, I’m new to this forum and just wondered if anyone on here has experienced becoming a parent since having a brain injury or was already the parent of a baby/small children? I had a TBI 5 years ago which I have recovered really well from but my main lasting issue is fatigue. I have just recently had a beautiful baby girl and am now finding it tough managing my fatigue alongside the demands of parenting and the sleepless nights. Suddenly my memory and word finding troubles are so much worse. I expected it to be tough of course, but I don’t think anything can prepare you for just how much parenting demands of you. I am trying to breast feed too which I am keen to continue...but it does mean I am on demand throughout the day and night (husband does one bottle feed at dawn so I can get some sleep which is a huge help).

If anyone has any advice/tips I would really appreciate it. Thank you xx

[cat3]

Make motherhood your sole purpose in life 'til the demands of your baby become more manageable. Sleep when she sleeps and see to only vital chores such as kitchen & bathroom hygiene, laundry and simple meals. When she starts on solids the night feeds should be less frequent and you'll hopefully get more sleep ; mine both started weaning at 3 months.

Caring for a new baby can be challenging in normal circumstances, but the brain injury will have taken its toll so respect your body's demands for regular rest periods and nourishment to avoid exhaustion.

Maybe an occasional walk to the shops would stave off cabin fever too. Stay well and enjoy this bonding period...….which is too precious to waste on stuff that can wait for a couple of months. Keep us updated on how it's going won't you m'dear….

Best wishes (& congratulations), Cat x 💐

[GT84 in reply to cat3]

Thanks Cat. That’s really helpful. I think your comment about this period being too precious to waste on other things is so true and important for me to take on. Thank you 😘

[lcd8]

Hi GT84. My children are now 15 and 11 and both were born to a mother with a long-term neurological deficit (BI). Its been a tough road (and still is at times) but I'm happy to say that things do get easier as they get older. Having and caring for a baby is life-changing in more ways that one and no one can really appreciate the anxiety and sleep deprivation effects until/unless they go through it. The fatigue really gets to everyone I guess but for those of us with BI it can be very tough. My advice would be to share the load. Let any family/friends living close by help you as much as they are able or willing to. Even just going shopping for you or looking after baby for an hour or doing a bit of housework for you makes a huge difference. Be kind to yourself and don't try to do too much or feel bad about not being able to do everything. I did this and it just leads to getting upset/depressed. Sleep when your baby sleeps no matter what the time of day and don't try to carry on 'as normal'. Lastly listen to your own body and judge what it needs for yourself. Don't pay too much attention to others who don't quite understand - including health visitors! Best of luck Lulu x

[GT84 in reply to lcd8]

Thank you for such supportive advice Lulu. It’s really helpful and to hear you managed it with 2 kids is really reassuring. And you’re so right about the health visitors 🤪 xx

[Cose]

I Have four kids and breast fed them all but they had bottles too. Breastfeeding is hard on the mother and energy consuming. You can do both. Maybe breastfeed during the day and before your bedtime ask your husband to bottle feed. I would breastfeed one time through the night in the early morning. My husband would bottle feed again before going to work. You have to take care of yourself to care for your baby. Leave the mess and rest when the baby rests.

Motherhood is not easy but wonderful

[GT84 in reply to Cose]

Thanks for your advice Cose. Was it formula your husband gave them in bottles? I’ve felt pressure from the health visitor to not give bottles and if I am to make sure I’m expressing to maintain my milk supply...but it takes time and energy to express too so we’ve only been doing one bottle. Your method does sound more manageable though especially if your kids were happy having a mix of breast milk and formula?

[Lynd]

Baby days are so precious and fleeting.

I agree just concentrate on baby and don't worry too much about the rest x