Update from the last few months

[kjg001]

So things have moved along, I am attending my local headway, I am still having mobility issues and head pain, I have reduced my medication though, I am looking for part time work but my mobility is the issue I am dealing with, my low moods are still present and the only major thing in depression is urges to jump out of a moving car on a motor way - weird I know. I still have moments in the house when I am alone when I feel I am going to die, my sleep pattern is up and down, sometimes great, sometimes not. I am trying to get my car licence back now, my relationship is stronger than ever, sex drive has increased ten fold on the good side, the bad side, so has my smoking. I have lost a great deal of weight and it still keeps falling off as I forget to eat at times, my memory stinks on the short and long term, I can loose days, my finances are a little better and I have decided to close my recruitment agency business at the end of this year. I get lower back pain also but maybe this is walking with a stick. Fatigue still hits me hard and I can see a future now.

In 4 days time it will be my 6th month anniversary since the SAH.

So that is me, how is everyone else doing.

[Sem2011]

Hi it has been 2years on the 9th July since my TBI. Fatigue is a problem. Had to go to the bank today and just managed to do ,felt like I was about to collapse and nausea. I have left sided weakness and spasticity which worsens with doing things and fatigue makes it worse. I can totally understand how you want to get in the car and drive, I feel the same, put the window down, feel the wind in your hair and be free ! I was a human resources advisor previously and in my 2nd year of Master degree in HR. I have lost all this due to memory problems, fatigue etc. IM told its too early for me to go back to work, Im not sure I could cope with a high paced, stressful job, with high expectations. Likewise Weight is falling off my. Professionals informed me this is due to the brain needing calories to repair itself. I too can't recognise when I need to eat, the hunger button is switched off! My passion is hot chocolate and cake, not in tune with my previous pre TBI appetite. We are told we must eat, but I feel liking Im forcing down food on a already full stomach. I have little sex drive (Im female btw ). my partner is v supportive. men have needs so I do my best to keep him happy. Depression is big . Feel like I have lost everything and have no purpose. No light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I feel too I am going to die, not sure how though! Nobody gave me the bad news when I left hospital , surgeon just said it would take me a while to get back to work, then at follow up gave me a Headway card with no explanation. they broke the news of my reality. They say everybody is different in recovery but I wish I would have been informed earlier. I was in denial for ages. Nobody with a TBI in my experience recovers within six months. Good luck with your return to work. I'm just about to start a physio programme which they say will help my stiffness and weakness and pain, might be worth a go, but I do not know your capacity. Saying that when I am really bad my left side collapses and I cannot walk, but I going to try to recover the best I can.

[bikerlifestyle]

a mixture of good and bad news there, but for what its worth i think you may be right about closing the business (could you selll it on as a going concern) we have a business (my wife runs it, and the stress is phenomenal so know where you are coming from)

i have managed to get funding to attend headway so i have some light in my tunnel, which is helping hide the worse parts, so its good

[Sem2011 in reply to bikerlifestyle]

Pleased for you you have headway support funding. We have to pay£20 an hour as we are classed as having savings as there is equity in our house, but no money. My partner is the only one working to support the family. I have lost my job, so headway is no help to me as we cannot afford it. Services our poor in the area I live in in terms of rehab, so for me there is no light at the end of the tunnel . I have worked all my adult life and pay my taxes, if I had no house help would be given to me for free and the government wants hard working people, well I was one of them instead of a bum and now I am paying for it! Unfair to say the least if I had no house equity which we cannot sell as we have 2 children and nowhere to live, but if your unemployed and have nothing you are given all the help in the world. it stinks!

[bikerlifestyle in reply to Sem2011]

i haven't been asked to pay anything, even though my wife works, like you, i have equity in my house too, i don't understand,

Headway aren't paying for funding, social services did an assessment and funding comes through them (i have had to wait a long time for a social worker well over a year) the lady from headway helped me organise to see a social worker and came with me at assessments.

its social services that supply funding,

[Sem2011 in reply to bikerlifestyle]

Hi thank you for your reply. yes Eastbourne social services did an assessment and I was deemed no for funding due to equity in our house, which we are hanging on by a thread! I guess it depends which area you reside In. We are still paying off the debt before we were informed it wasn't free for us. V frustrating! How short sighted of the government , people's recovery means less strain on services and more people returning to work albeit perhaps part time. I am 2 years since my TBI and still on that ver long road that nobody tells you. I resonate it with have a cancer but not being told for six months because nobody wants to give you the bad new. Nobody recovers quickly from this. I wish I was given the truth in the beginning instead of being told I would be unwell for a while. I am very depressed and angry

[kjg001]

Good and bad responses I am feeling low as list the chance to go for a job with headway and not able to go for a perfect job as it is full time, salary of 70k so it stinks, might go for it but not sure how I would cope.

[Sem2011 in reply to kjg001]

I'm confused, sorry, the job is with Headway , full time? If so, they would be the best supportive people to understand. I know a little of your condition from reading above, but guess only you can truly tell if you can cope. I too eventually want to return to work , I truly miss the buzz of my job. People suggest part time work, perhaps that would be an option, I know not 70k but it would be a start