Pushing Forward

I've got my first exam in a couple of months so I've been doing some revision, it's my neurological exam.

I can't speak, my eyes are barely open, and I nearly fall over everytime I go to the bathroom, but my God am I doing it. As a bonus the stuff I'm learning is actually sticking! Good times.

Nothing quite like a bit of progress to make you feel like you're back to normal. Anyone else feel like they're getting on with it, despite the horribleness?

8 Replies

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  • I try my best to push forwards but I sometimes think there's no point. Noone can ever understand what it's like and i'm never going to fulfil other people's expectations. It feels like you're fighting for nothing, I lost my life almost 13 years ago and there hasn't been any point to life ever since. Doctors don't help much, charities don't always understand, family are left to pick up the pieces.

  • First off I feel your pain, it's a crushing blow that I wouldn't wish upon anyone.

    But this isn't about anyone else, and no-one else is going to get you out of it. People will expect things from you regardless, and you have no obligation to them. If they think you fall short then it's because they simply don't understand, and how could they? It's a different world we now live in.

    Doctors, charities, friends, family, cousins, a dog you're fond of; they'll all love you or tell you the facts (or lick your face), but they won't solve your problems. If you're waiting around for something to happen, I'll let you know now, it's not going to. No one is obliged to help anyone, and plenty of people fall by the wayside, and life doesn't skip a beat. It just keeps going, whether you like it or not.

    Forget everyone else, and repair. If you broke your leg you wouldn't be annoyed at yourself for not leaving the house. You've still got a lot of life in you, I promise.

  • Well said, I'm painfully aware of the expectations others place on me, I've grown up with it, I had my injury at 14, i'm now 27 and wondering why i'm here. Over the years I've become use to people's reactions and disappointments and I don't care about it anymore, i'm not here to please anyone. I'm stuck in my own world because it's the only place I feel safe and myself. I can't relate to anyone, not even fellow "survivors", it's different because most have suffered as older adults and have no idea what it's like to have grown up a social isolate and then be expected to 'fit in' with the others. It hurts me to think that noone cares because partly my personality/partly the injury i'm the type who lacks initiative/too respectful and if you can't fight your own corner then who will fight for you..hmm?

  • I am hoping to start an OU course in the autumn. I already have a degree from before but I am hoping that doing another one will help me to start using my brain properly again. Good Luck with your exams :)

  • Yeah I feel it's the best therapy, what course will you be doing? What degree do you have now? If you don't mind me asking.

  • I have a BA English with Art and I am hoping to do a BA Humanities as it has a creative writing stream. Am hoping to use this time when I am not working/ recuperating to push my writing career forward :)

  • Yeah! It's a rare opportunity to do some things that you love.

  • Indeed have discovered a previously unknown love for gardening already who knows what I will discover about myself before this is all over lol