Family Stress!!! I am so fed up,

[millie67]

prior to my partners tbi he never had much to do with his mom, in fact he always came away agitated and stressed when he saw her and she never really had a good word to say about him.....well since the accident she is constantly visiting him at hospital, more times than me in a week, constantly touching him and fussing over him (which he will really be hating) she also phones the hospital and tries to makesure she always knows what's going on with him. Her actions are really upsetting me, I feel I should be protecting him by stopping her from seeing him so much as I know pre accident this is what he would of wanted....I feel I have lost my partner and she is enjoying taking over the role of the mother with her little boy who cant answer her back anymore, he left home at 16 because he couldn't stand her anymore ( I think she is enjoying the attention off the nurses too)...think I might need counselling if this carries on it is upsetting me and I know if there is any of my partner that is aware it will be upsetting and agitating him too, which can't be good for his recovery........sorry for the rant but really don't know what to do.

[formula]

from my perspective , when i was in hospital days or weeks after you realise what's important in life and its not the same values you had before your accident , i didn't get on with my dad that well probably not mature enough at the time he ment well. but he was never that way inclined in showing his emotions , but do you know what when i was in that hospital bed with no hope all i wanted to do was hold my dads hand , 21 years after i'm still filling up with that thought , get a grip Paul ... lol .. but on a serious note i wouldn't deny him that or his mother after all its her flesh and blood and no matter what has gone on in the past this is a time to forget about previous altercations .. as a mother shes bound to fuss him ... just a thought !

all the best Paul

[millie67]

thanks Paul, I know what you are saying but he did have very strong thoughts on the subject, voiced them on many occasions and after having left home for 24 years I dont think things woudl of got better. Unfortunately she has too much time on her hands, lives on her own and Johns accident has brought alot of attention on her from her church friends and johns two sisters, which she does seem to be enjoying. Alot of people that know John and knew what sort of relationship he had with his mom are saying she is doing all this out of guilt as well.....it doesnt mean she is unaware of what John would want but is just hoping he will never be able to tell her otherwise.....me on the other hand is praying for the day he comes back to me and our children, I am sure he will make his thoughts more than clear then......he didnt mince his words before the tbi so I can only imagine how he might be afterwards. I am glad that for you some good came it all. Thanks for your reply x

[millie67 in reply to millie67]

some good came from it!! must remember to put my glasses on. On a positive note John has been moved to a rehab centre today which is great news for us all.

[formula]

I wish you and your family well , bite your lip at times because at the end of the day nobody knows what hes feeling now and i hope god will shine some light on john and make some progress and get a bit of normality back ... brain injuries are a funny thing sometimes there not much hope and it can all change next month .. small steps lead to bigger ones

i wish you well Paul