How hard my life is with an ABI: Im finding it hard... - Headway

Headway

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How hard my life is with an ABI

KaineG profile image
4 Replies

Im finding it hard to find a girlfriend, to move on with my life because people drag me down, some people i know bring it up every-time i see them.

I feel I am missing out on things such as :- love and romance....all because I have got a Brain Injury.

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KaineG profile image
KaineG
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4 Replies
fuzzyhead profile image
fuzzyhead

logic mode: on

then cut these people you know out of your life, or at the very least don't hang around with them (if they're work colleagues, for instance). it's difficult enough with a head injury so if they make it harder for you, why let them drag you down?

logic mode: off

it is definitely hard to apply logic to positions you're in, especially if you don't feel in control of any given situation. in my experience anyway.

i hear all these people saying stuff like "thankful people are happy people" but if your ABI has robbed you of perspective and a way to understand and modify your behaviour/thought processes (mine did, so i speak only for myself here), how do you make the paradigm shift?

again speaking for myself in the hope it has some relevance to you, i was bitter about my TBI for years as i thought that it had robbed me of love and romance too but i did find a lovely woman eventually and am now married to her with two spectacular children. what i find now though, is i'm still bitter about my TBI at times, only now it's in relation to stuff i hadn't really thought of before because I was so focussed on wanting to be with someone.

in summary, i have found that learning to live with the hand we've been so cruelly dealt is a constant struggle. circumstance has made me thankful for certain things, like my wife and kids, but that doesn't make the other stuff any easier...

it definitely helps to talk in an environment where you know you are understood though...might have helped me when I was at my lowest ebb...

KaineG profile image
KaineG

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate all the help and advice I can get.

B_S_A profile image
B_S_A

Like fuzzyhead says the cut and dry of it is that this has happened. I've been on antidepressants and such but somehow it's just something that you have to come to terms with. I've come to realise that the world doesn't care about how you feel about what happens to you, the only way forward is to "let it go" and adapt. Which yes, seems impossible.

I know that I feel that a part of my life has been stolen, and I know how hard that is to deal with.

I truly do wish the best of luck to you, and I hope things turn around for you soon.

artangel profile image
artangel

Hi Fuzzyhead i found these words over the weekend and hope they will help...

"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"

E.M. Forester.

Good Luck and Best Wishes

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