So back to THAT night, the one where I met my best friend.
I was working in the pub on the Sunday night and it was dead. Ryan walks in and walks over smiling at me. After taking the mick out of me for a bit at how dead it was he said he would stay for a bit and keep me and our other friend (who was propping up the bar) company. Eventually the only people left in the pub were myself, Ryan and our friend so I decided to join them for a drink or two.
After my two drinks turned into twelve drinks I decided to lock up the pub and we could go to mine and carry on drinking. Armed with a carry out the three of us left the pub and headed to mine which was just across a grass verge from the pub. It is probably wise to inform you that the friend of ours Lee was badly burnt a few years ago in an accident at one of our friends houses. He has 90% burns on his body but he is the same Lee and never lets anything get him down. He is still a cheeky chappy.
Anyway we were walking down the path when Lee spots a random shopping trolley carelessly abandoned by its owner. (Them trolley men in Asda are right lazy gits!) So as men do when they are drunk they turn into little boys and got giddy when they seen a trolley. The lads were trying to convince me to get in it and they would push me home. Not a chance I was going to trust them two idiots!
I carried on walking towards home, you know trying not to be seen with two drunken thugs just misbehaving.... I only turned round to look back at them because the sound of giggling girls got the better of me. You can imagine my surprise to look and see our poor Lee pushing Ryan (who is built like a brick shithouse) in this shopping trolley! I couldn't help but start in fits of laughter.
I'm not sure what those two were speaking about when my back was turned but after Lee had pushed Ryan down the path and two steps he parked him up in front of me and said they're you go Dee hand delivered him for you. Ha what is that about? I'm not going to even think about that he's too young!
We went into my house and carried on drinking and being daft for a few hours until Lee stood up and declared 'I'm going to find a party now so you two can get it on'. Ryan started stuttering words out and going rather red. Lee wasn't listening and said i'm telling you we will have babies and wedding bells from you two. With that he opened the door and left.
Lee decided he was born in a barn and left the door open so Ryan got up and shut the door. He then came back to the living room and decided to move to the couch I was sitting on..... Cheesy!
I don't need to tell you the rest but what I will tell you is that what happened was a total disaster, a non starter and ended in us in fits of laughter waving each other goodbye at the front door..... Still as just friends.
That was 6AM on Monday morning.
11AM Monday morning he was stood back in front of me..........