Young mums I have a question....

[craftymummy]

How do you explain to your young children that they have to be gentle with mummy? My two are 4 1/2 and 2 1/2, my lg (4 1/2) is at nursery mornings and my lb starts in January, he has a heart condition so still needs his pram for naps when he gets tired. But they're not the most gentle if children, how do I get them to understand that mummy can't always do the things they want, like push them on the swing or pick them up when they can't be bothered to walk upstairs themselves? My son is 15kg already so carrying him upstairs isn't and option. But I feel so mean, if they fall when out I look so crule as I can't pick them up to comfort them. I'm only 33 so need some advice from the younger members of our group, (older members please don't feel left out I need any advice I can get) x

[Mdaisy]

Hello Claireoliver82,

Welcome to the community !

Thank You for your post, this came up quite regularly in the community a while ago. As far as I recall their was member who exactly wrote a book called 'Why does Mommy hurt?'

I don't know if it also mentions about fatigue and why sometimes you need to rest & cannot play. However, there may be other books about explaining fatigue, illness etc.

This avenue may be a good way to explain to your little cuties! I am 38 with a 3 year old and I have been considering these kinds of issues myself recently.

Hope this helps

Emma

FibroAction Administrator

[Hidden]

Hello clairoliver. Afternoon Emma.

I dont know if this will help explain thing or not. It was written by someone with Lupus but should translate to Fibro easily enough.

pinterest.com/pin/484207397...

I explained to my Granddaughter by saying that my battery was flat and that my charger had broken. This made me tired and hurt all over.

She looked at my for a second or two and carried on with what she was doing. But since then she has become my little carer.

Sue x

[TheAuthor]

Hi Calireoliver82

I am so sorry to read that you are experiencing this issue, and I genuinely understand how you must feel. I did not develop Fibro until after my children had grown up and left home. However, I am now a grandad and I have two young grandchildren. It is not easy to explain to them because the eldest is only five and simply does not understand.

Maybe this is the way it should be? As I would not want my grandchildren to carry my burden but a gentle reminder is usually enough for them not to be too rough or boisterous. I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[agtf1]

Hi, I used a book called "tot's tale about the clever colour changing system". It has a cat explaining that some days are better than others. Giving a green Orange red colour system (red worse day, orange in between & green better). It means that rather than trying to explain to your child every day how you feel, you can just say it's a .... Colour day today.

I also made three lists of things I CAN do on each colour day, ie on red days: activities based around me being stuck in bed: reading stories, putting on puppet shows for eachother etc, and more active things on better days. The 3 colour lists went on the fridge, so it would be: ok it's an orange day today, let's look on the Orange list to see what things we can do.

I'm 37 and my daughter now 8, but used this system with her from 5 (when my Fibro deteriorated to a stage I couldnt do many things with her & had to start using a walking stick) and think it would have worked at younger age too.

I'm sure there are many other ways too, this is just the one I found. It is written by someone with lupus but the explanation is suitable for many conditions.

Good luck xxx

[craftymummy in reply to agtf1]

Thanks that seams like just what I need as I'm not bad all the time. I will have to try this. Thanks its a great help