Fertility, Miscarriage & IVF Support by MamaBe
1,330 members661 posts

Ivf and stress

Hi, I'm about to start ivf after more than 2.5 years of ttc, I have endometriosis, a low egg count and one blocked tube, so the odds are pretty stacked against us. I keep hearing about being calm, and not worrying and 'it'll happen when you stop trying ' but I tried that and all that happened was my endo has gotten progressively worse with each month as I haven't been on the pill to control it. My husband isn't very good at expressing his emotions, and he's the reason we've pushed our planned ivf back repeatedly despite being told we have a 2% chance of conceiving without it, because he didn't want to spend the money. So, my question is, how does everyone stay calm through this process? I can't really rely on my husband to support me because he doesn't really get it, but I feel like there's so much pressure on me for this to work, even though I know it's common to need multiple attempts I feel like it has to work this time or I might not get another chance but I don't really know how to balance feeling like that with staying relaxed. Any tips from people who've been through it already?

4 Replies

I know how you feel, we are going through our first IVF after 4 years of conceiving at 2% chance (I am menaupausal since teens).

I would suggest you sit down with your husband and talk about everything, the pros and cons wether he takes any of it on board or not.. you'll definitely needs his emotional support during your journey, I too feel the pressure of making this work for us however my husband knows miracles happen and then there is another side to it over which we have no control, he is constantly on my case to ensure I am cared for, happy, relaxed and not worried wether it works this time or the next.

You will need someone to share your thoughts with, there will be a lot of time on your hands and you'd want someone to talk to and understand you, listen to you, and much more, for example little things like discussing the side effects of the medication etc etc. No one else better than your other half hun.

I would suggest you do everything you can to bring him on board with what is all yet to come.

(We are going through a private treatment too)


Hi Runner I know exactly how you feel my Dr always say that every women is on this boat alone because their partners doesn't get it . I had a word with my partner and told him that I feel like i am doing this alone and it is not fair and he realises that I need more support . I am also trying to do some mindfulness exercise to

Keep me calm in this very hard time. My IVF only starts in November but I have several IUI

Just be honest to your husband and look after yourself 😘

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Try joining the fertility network group on here, it's more active than this one and gives great support. You should also be offered a few sessions of counselling through your ivf clinic.

1 like

Thanks! I'll look at that network:)


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