Friend texting pics of her bump

My brothers ex from years ago who I still keep in touch with v occasionally txt me out of the blue a while ago to say she was pregnant . Even though I was happy for her it still hurt as that same day she told me she was pregnant - my cycle got cancelled ! 

Anyway , she just txt me again today , to say she had her 13 week scan and sent me a pic of her scan and a photo of her bump . 

I explained to her last month about me going through IVF , but I don't think she really understood , she said today - keep the faith and try ovulation kits and stress is the worse you can do . And she said that I can fall pregnant naturally if u don't stress. 

Yeah right !! 

Really got to me how people just don't get it what we IVF people are going through. 

I'm 39 in July where she 33. 

7 Replies

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  • That sounds awful! Some people have no idea how hard ivf is, i really feel for you! 💜

    Try not to dwell on it too much! I was out on Friday for a work colleague leaving on maternity, i found it ok, but everywhere i look all i see is baby bumps! Totally feeling your pain! Maybe ask her not to give you a running commentary of her pregnancy as you're finding it hard to deal with! Xxx

  • I'm with you here, it annoys me how people just think it's just a hoop to go through and don't realise the emotional and physical journey people have to go on. We don't do it out of choice or because we simply don't want to try any more! It annoys me how people think there's one process for all people having IVF, they don't realise there are different drugs, dosage and procedures depending on an individual situation. The amount of times we hear "just relax" "my friend was about to start IVF and got pregnant naturally" "don't think about it and it will happen"! I've found that people who are really there for you are those who listen to what your individual situation is, and read up on it themselves. Also those who say they don't understand, instead of thinking that they do.

    She clearly doesn't have a clue about whats involved and isn't educated about it. Half of me thinks 'don't blame them as I wouldn't have a clue if it wasn't me' but then half of me thinks 'if it was the other way around I would be more tactful and not send pictures like that' obviously you're happy for her but there's got to be some thought for you.

    I have definitely realised who my true friends are during this process!

    (Sorry about the essay ha!)

  • This is why I like this site because we all understand what we're all going through xx

  • Definitely, don't know what I would've done without this site! X

  • Can't believe she sent you a scan picture. Why do people do that? It's one thing to put it on Facebook but not everyone is interested in seeing scan photos and at least on FB you can ignore it. Before trying to get pregnant I wasn't even able to tell what all the blobs were on a scan photo anyway! And a bump picture at 13 weeks? Most women are still pretty flat at that point. Maybe you can take some comfort in knowing that her 'bump' is actually water retention and weight gain at that stage and not really baby! Bumps don't pop out until quite a few weeks later. I hope she doesn't continue to send you bump photos. I actually hate the thought of taking photos of my bump and don't understand the desire to do this at all.

    People don't understand IVF though unless they've gone through it. I expected my mum to be super supportive at the time because she knew we'd been through a lot but I really don't think she knew what I was going through as she didn't give me much support at all at first and when I said it to her she then became over supportive. Difficult for people to find that balance! People know IVF from what they read in papers, and that's not much to go on as the media rarely describes the reality of it all. 

    It sounds like you're not that close to to her anyway, so can you just choose to ignore her and move on?

  • Just another thought - do you think she maybe did it to make a point to your brother? Her way of letting him know she has really moved on with her life?

  • i can feel it how we feel about all these things.. i m little bit fat n my stomach is bigger....many people including males ask me if i m pregnant...my near one asks me why we r not planning but they dont knw the pain that we r facing since last 1 n half year n waiting for ivf to do miracle...i want people not to ask me about my pregnancy n not to c my bigger stomach.....having bigger stomach does not mean that i m pregnant....i would answer their questions happily i had answer but i could just smile n say that no  i m not pregnant..stil people doubt..poor me...

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