Hi I am new to this. I have been diagnosed with pcos and my partner has a very low sperm count. Been refered for ivf. Very upset with the outcome. Finding it very hard to take in. Worried about what's still to come. Friends all starting to get pregnant finding that very hard to take in. I'm happy for them but devastated at the same time wishing it was me. Can anyone help me on what I've to expect ? X

8 Replies

  • Hi Xema88x, It can be daunting can't it.

    I want you to read this not to get some information, to find out what you don't know but to read it whilst listening for a feeling within. Like listening to music.

    My wife was diagnosed with PCOS as a teenager in the middle of our journey we found out my fertility was a disaster, on every count. However we conceived naturally (1 in a million chance we were told). I share this an example of how we cannot predict the future. Worry is all future thinking, but nothing can predict the future, not even your thinking can. You thinking is telling you stories about what may or may not happen and that is creating the feeling of worry.

    The truth is, whatever happens you will be OK as we are built to live in reality not the made up future in our heads. We have access to resources we don't have in our made up future in our heads. Resources such as instinct, intuition, clarity of mind. My recommendation would be to be in the now and let tomorrow take care of itself.

    Your fear of not having children is probably feeding this worry, and also the devastation of seeing other people pregnant. Part of you believes you level of happiness in life is dependant on having children. Our thinking looks outside of ourselves for wellbeing and happiness. I'll be OK when...or I'll be OK if... However our wellbeing and happiness comes from inside us. Nothing on the outside has the power to make us feel anything. Seeing pregnant women doesn't make you feel devastated. It is what you are thinking in that moment creates your feeling, nothing else. This is the great misunderstanding in life. We don't realise we can't feeling anything other than our thinking. Our thinking tells us it's about X, Y or Z but it can't be. That's not how we work. This is why some days feel better than others.

    Now you cannot stop thinking but you can begin to see that's where your feelings are coming from, not the situation and not the future (because thats made up in your head!). When you begin to recognise this it can take the power out of them and the resulting feeling. You can come back to the here and now and accessing your innate well-being you were born with.

    You can expect to have more tests and then discuss options and timing for treatment. Everyone experience is unique as it depends on so many factors, and particularly what we think about it all. I guess you want to know what to expect so you can mentally prepare for it as you don't like not knowing. This is why we make up the future/worry about the future in our heads. But it doesn't help does it? :)

    You may like this webinar I did on 5 things I wish I knew on our journey:

    I hope this helps and please do come back with any other questions.

    with love


  • @xema88x

    Hi, and many thanks for your post.

    I'm sorry to hear that you are finding this so difficult.

    When IVF is first recommended it can be hard to know whether this is the right option for you.

    I'm happy to offer some guidance on here if it helps, but I'd need a little more info about you, your journey, age etc.

    There are many natural ways to support yourself, and both PCOS and sperm health can be improved naturally.

    Many couples are now referred to IVF much earlier than is often required, as conventional medicine doesn't have any other way of dealing with physical issues such as sperm health and PCOS.

    It's often their only suggestion, but I have personally treated many couples over the past 17 years with these two issues with great success, so try not to let it stress you out too much. There are answers and solutions :)

    Let me know if you have any other questions!

    If in the meantime you'd like some FREE resources that could help support you to changing the PCOS and improving sperm health then sign up for my free fertility guide which is available online at: naturalfertilityexpert.com/...

    best wishes


  • Hi thanks for your reply. I'm 26 been with partner for 6 years been trying for over 2 years now. I have a very irregular cycle maybe every 4 to 5 months. After a year of trying went to doctors got test scans etc was told I had pcos. After more test and my partner got tested twice we were refered for ivf. We have been taking vitamins as told. We have stopped drinking also. I would have thought there would have been more options before ivf. X

  • Hi,

    You're very welcome and thanks for the extra info!

    At 26 you should be able to rectify this issue naturally, from my experience.

    Obviously without assessing you I can't say 100%, but in most situations this is the case.

    The IVF suggestion will be based on your PCOS and your partners sperm health and these conditions are not 'treatable' in conventional medicine.

    They are however fairly easy to resolve with natural methods.

    You just need to know what to do, and you need to give it some time and then retest after 3-6 months.

    Most cases of PCOS can be altered through the use of Herbal medicine, lifestyle and dietary changes and support.

    If you sign up to my free guide as I mentioned in my last post ( naturalfertilityexpert.com/... ), you'll get lots of tips and advice.

    You can then also sign up to our free monthly online event, Fertility Question Time ( naturalfertilityexpert.com/... ), where we discuss topics such as PCOS and other fertility issues and how to improve your fertility health.

    You'll then also get free access to all the past events, where you can listen in on how to make some of the necessary changes.

    Let me know if you have any further questions

    best wishes


  • Hello, my husband and I have also been referred for ivf. We have our first appointment mid-March. Depending on where you live it can take a while from ivf referral to treatment (it's taken us almost 1year) so it's worth being referred and trying 'alternatives' in the meantime x

  • Thanks for your reply. Do you recommended any alternatives ? We are taking vitamins not drinking caffine no alcohol don't really know what else to do. No alternatives were explained to us. X

  • I shall let Andrew comment on the specifics on physical treatments but I can say my wife got her full cycle back after being diagnosed with PCOS through changing diet, taking herbs and having acupuncture. I massively increased my sperm count, morphology and mobility through letting go of limiting beliefs and thoughts and taking control of my life, recognising I can be happy and doing things like resigning from a job I didn't enjoy. The differences was phenomenal.


  • @xema88x

    Hi and apologies for the delay.

    For some reason I wasn't notified about your message.

    There are many natural options but there are some that are more effective and quicker at dealing with PCOS, as I mentioned in my earlier post.

    Vitamins alone are not strong enough to rectify this type of issue.

    Removing caffeine is good and dietary changes need to be made also.

    I have treated many hundreds of women with PCOS over the years and with great success.

    As with any fertility health presentation it's something that needs to be treated individually. There is no one treatment for all people.

    I mentioned my free guide above, and in it are some examples of dietary and lifestyle changes that you can make that will help you.

    There is also a lot of free information in my free monthly online event: Fertility Question Time (also mentioned in my earlier post to you), which you can sign up to also.

    My advice would be to make as many positive dietary and lifestyle changes as you can and also find yourself a good practitioner to support you.

    In most cases, at 26 you should be able to resolve this issue naturally as you have some time before needing to go to IVF.

    I hope that helps

    Best wishes


You may also like...