After years of ttc and the biggest blessing of my life - my ivf miracle girl, we got pregnant naturally and completely unexpectedly last month. I went for a scan on Tuesday and although all looked good and strong wee heartbeat, baby was measuring a week behind which I knew was an issue as I was certain of dates. Because of that worry, I had another scan yesterday morning just to check growth and devastingly, was told they couldn’t find a hear beat. Baby had grown perfectly but absolutely no sign of that wonderful flicker we all desperately want to see. Poor wee soul must have passed that very day.
I just can’t make sense of it at all - why was I given this gift just to have it ripped away. I’ve been pregnant 5 times and only taken home one baby. Honestly thought that after everything we have been through, this was the wee blessing we needed. Now I’m in limbo until the hospital see me on Monday and plan the surgery. Just feel so angry and alone
Written by
EWFmama
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
urgh it’s just so unfair! Getting your hopes up just to have them dashed in the most heartbreaking way. Although it doesn’t help much to know other people also have similar terrible luck, I also went through something similar trying for number 2. Saw a heartbeat then next scan nothing and she was euploid so still no answers on what went wrong. Back to ivf number 8 soon x
Oh mama that’s so unfair. It does help to talk to the people in this group as it makes me feel less alone, but in my real life, I feel none of my friends or family have had to deal with the level of loss and stress that we have. My husband is currently working abroad (the pregnancy happened the first day I went out to see him) so I’m having to deal with this solo.
I have made the decision that I’m done after this loss. I’m 39 and cannot face this again. Turns out we will be one and done, not through choice. I wish you so much luck in your journey ❤️
It’s so hard to understand why things happen this way, and there are no words that can make this pain any easier. Sending you love and strength during this time. xx
It’s not the exact same but I know what it’s like to unexpectedly fall naturally pregnant after a long arduous IVF struggle, and then have that taken away so cruelly.
Feel free to DM if you need a chat. Thinking of you ❤️
Thank you so much. I haven’t even told my husband yet as I want to wait until I have the hospital appointment on Monday, confirming everything then have a plan to go forward. He’s completely alone in the Middle East and he will be beyond heartbroken 💔 since he can’t get home to see us until mid November earliest.
Thank you for your kind words, I’m so sorry you had to deal with this too. Thank you so much for taking the time to message x
My DH works away a lot too and it makes it extra hard when we face these awful losses. Please be kind to yourself and know we are all here and get you xx
I just wanted to send you some love and strength at this difficult time. I understand how you feel and wish things could be different for people like us. It’s so unfair. I definitely understand the horrid limbo feeling. I Hope you have some support around you. Remember, you are never alone, there’s a few of us out here that empathise and understand your pain. Much love xx
EWFmama I'm so sorry this has happened. There are no words I will tell you that wil take away the pain you feel right now. But know that you are not alone, so many of us have unfortunately had these losses 😔 someone on this forum once told me the importance of three things that can make you feel better in these instances: 1) connection, speak with someone who gets you/doesnt piss you off; 2) creation, make something with your hands a cake a painting some gardening, 3)movement, when all of the above seems useless then go for a walk, move your body to a different room. I hope your surgery goes well and that you can start to heal your body and soul again, you strong and amazing individual ❤️ take care of yourself
So sorry for your loss. I feel your pain, it’s a such a cruel thing to go through, I know the feeling. Sending peace and strength to you for the coming days, weeks and beyond and hope you have some support to help you through.
Sorry your going through this. We tried for 18 years to have a child and by some miracle fell pregnant naturally 2 years ago but miscarried. It's the only pregnancy and naturally pregnancy I'd had. I'm blessed that I now have a 3 month old from our last ivf but it still doesn't take away the pain I feel from my natural pregnancy loss. 2 years on I often reflect on it. Im grateful for ivf but I just feel like a failure that my body can't do what's its supposed to naturally
so sorry to hear of your loss 😔 we’re in a similar boat, after 4.5 yrs TTC and 4 miscarriages we had our beautiful little girl through IVF in June 2023. We recently started trying and fell pregnant after 4 months and were (tentatively!) over the moon to have that natural conception experience. I started feeling unwell and it ended up being ectopic, I had the surgery last week and no longer have any tubes left so IVF will be the only way forward 😔
I’ll never understand why some people have it so easy, and the rest of us have to suffer 💛💛
Please please don’t tell people who’ve had a loss that things happen for a reason. I appreciate you want to offer support but you might want to take a look at the podcast worst girl gang ever (or book), or some of the other books by people who’ve experienced losses on things that are helpful and unhelpful to say in this situation. ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. We were blessed with our son from our first fresh transfer after struggling with MFI, and we were ready for the next 2 years later. Unfortunately our next FET ended in miscarriage at 6 weeks where they couldn’t find the heart beat. It’s so heartbreaking💔
We may not understand why any of this happens but please don’t lose hope! You will have your rainbow baby. It’s so amazing that you fell pregnant naturally, if it happened once it can happen again!
I still have hope that we will fall pregnant naturally even though science is telling us otherwise🙏🏼✨ maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I will never lose hope🙏🏼
I’m so sorry. This happened to me 5 weeks ago. We’ve one child of age 9, trying many years, failed IVF previously and then at age 40 naturally fell pregnant. Had 2 reassurance scans and got to 13 weeks, only to find out baby died two weeks prior, it has broken my heart. As you say it’s just so, so cruel. We had told our son and I feel I’ve broken his heart too. The sadness is like nothing I’ve ever felt. Life makes no sense sometimes. You don’t deserve this and you did nothing wrong. I’m sorry and know that you’re not alone, you will feel you’re going crazy but I hope you have good support and can take some comfort in the family you do have xx
I’m really sorry to hear this and I felt every word you have written as I’m right there myself. I’ve had five pregnancies and four of those ended in baby loss 💔. I am so lucky to have my twins who were conceived after years of heartache and loss, they’re my IVF miracles. Trying for a sibling I hoped would be easier but two miscarriages down and today, I’ve cracked open and seem to be struggling to accept our bad luck. It’s mentally exhausting and feels so, so unfair and cruel.
I know nothing I can say will make your pain go away, but I am sending you lots of love, strength and cuddles xx
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
So sad
Sad news
So Excited 😜😜
Feeling so so sad, BFN today after #firstivfcycle
So confused 🤷🏼♀️ 
