I was so cautious I didn't dare post my BFP on here after round 6 of treatment, first DE round. Now I've been told i have a blighted ovum (again) must be the donor egg because my husband had further tests after a poor response to fertilising the DE. Only retrieved 8 eggs from 26 Yr old donor. 1 was degenerated straight away. The other embryos died off and we had 1 left. I was scared this would happen but after spending a fortune we really had little choice to try as we had zero to freeze. I had already bonded with my baby and we are both devastated. We used donor eggs because of my poor egg quality and the same thing happening. We can only afford 1 new round at a push for our last chance or we will be bankrupt!! This feels so unfair as we are only asking for 1 child. We've put so much into this and now I've got to lose a 3rd baby. I also have a haematoma and my miscarriage hasn't started so I am in limbo. It hurts my heart so much i am now thinking it's just not going to happen for us. I am sorry if this sounds like poor me but i am so gutted. I can't see any positives right now. 😔😢 i also work with children so it will be a long time before I can face work.
***sensitive MC. Heartbroken. Even do... - Fertility Network UK
***sensitive MC. Heartbroken. Even donor eggs cause blighted ovum. Where next? 😢😢😢😢
This is really unfair and I'm really sorry to see what has happened. I know what you mean as well when you said you dared not post after 6 rounds of treatment. It seems very cruel when you've taken steps to change to donor eggs and then experience this. I would keep my fingers crossed for you that with a different donor you have a better outcome. I think we put a lot of pressure on it working when moving to donor and it is sadly not always the case and this is a terrible thing to go through. All I can say is give yourself time, I know the limbo is horrible. Re work, it is totally understandable you would need time off to work through what's happening and I think the GP should support you with this. X x
Thank you so much for your reply and kind words. I am definitely going to take my time and won't be rushing back to work. They have been very understanding luckily. I suppose I hoped the egg would be better quality and we'd have more chance than with my own eggs. I knew it could still happen but it's still a shock as I've already had 2 miscarriages in a 6 month period. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. Thank you X
You're absolutely entitled to feel upset and angry. IVF is rollarcoaster of emotions.
I'm not sure if it's any cheaper (I'm assuming so because it won't require an DE or covering the expense to fertilise the embryos), but are donor embryos an option? I'm just mentioning it because a friend of mine is looking into donating her embryos after successful treatment (so the topic is fresh in my mind at the moment!). I don't know if it's worth looking into as a potential option as I imagine the only expense is the medications and transfer fee.
For now it might just be worth taking the time to grieve and just know that there's still other options available.
Sending you luck X
Thank you so much for your message and suggestion. We haven't ruled it out but it is our last resort. My husband has less healthy sperm but they have said its fine and his DNA fragmentation came back as normal. The eggs were not looking good from the start. We will try a new donor and see what happens. It's going to be a long road to recovery to be able to try again. I am going to focus on getting through the miscarriage first and then grieving. I've contacted a fertility counsellor so I can get some support. Thanks for reaching out. X
I'm so sorry you are going through this, heart breaking and so unfair
Have you spoken to your clinic as that doesn't not sound fair with regards to the donor eggs unless you are aware of any male issues. I would push for another batch of eggs or at least a discount (sorry that I'm sounding so matter of fact but you are right about the cost).
For now though definatly allow yourself time to grieve, so important. sending you a big hug xx
Thanks so much for your message. They did give me a 40% refund because we only got 1 embryo but its still a lot of money to find plus costs of going abroad as its in czech republic. I think I just need to get through the worst then grieve and recover before going again. Thanks for reaching out. X
That sounds like a good plan. You haven't just lost a baby you have lost what you thought your future would look like. It is so hard. I can highly recomend counselling if this is something that you would be open to. Certainly helped me though the darker days.
My inbox is always open if you ever need to chat xx
Thank you so much. 💓 I contacted a fertility counsellor yesterday as I am in desperate need of some support to get through this. Yes it really feels like we've lost our future plans and dreams. I am now scared to try again although I am prepared to do it when I am better. I have no faith in any positive pregnancy tests as it just leads to heartbreak. X
I know, I have to say I really struggled when I was pregnant with my little boy and didn't feel like I enjoyed it as I was just so scared.For me I had to have the next plan ready to help me through but that doesn't mean it's the correct thing to do.
Take time for each other and yourselves right now xx
I think its so sad that women in our position can't enjoy a pregnancy because of the fear of another loss. It just seems so unfair and no one apart from my husband and this group understand how I feel. My IVF coordinator is away at the moment which is probably a good thing as it stops me from making plans before I am ready!! Thanks for reaching out. I really appreciate yours and everyone else's kind messages of support. Xx
Oh I'm so sorry to hear this, you have been through so much. Just take time for yourself to feel your feelings, this baby did exist and was loved a lot. Sending virtual hugs as IVF can be a very cruel and difficult journey. Xx
I’m so sorry xx In terms of costs, Gaia fertility might be worth looking into. Wishing you love and hugs xxx
Ok that's really helpful. Thank you. Xxx
I am so sorry you are really having a horrible time. It’s so unfair when it feels like some of us are just so unlucky. I hope you manage to slowly piece yourself back together again. But take the time you need. I know that’s hard when you feel like time is another enemy in the midst of it all. Sending you lots of love and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with another loss 💔
Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate you reaching out. I am going to take it really easy and just focus on getting better. Xxx
I’m so sorry, it’s such a journey. I believe you will smile soon🙏
Thanks so much for your message. I am still 🙏 praying. Not given up hope yet. X
So sorry you are having such a tough time. I went straight to DE and assumed they were my magic answer, but it still took me 7 transfers, 2 donors and 10 embryos to get there. I suppose with a donor they cannot really tell what will happen almost as much as with OE. My DEs weren’t tested so I’m assuming some were abnormal. I only got 3 embryos from my first donor but got 7 from my second. I really hope when you are ready you get a new donor and lots of perfect little embies x
Thanks so much Doodlebug. Yeah I think part of me thought it would work because I took my own eggs out of the picture. I was told it was my eggs that caused the 2 miscarriages so it just feels so gutting to be happening again. I am so pleased that it worked for you after all you've been through. That is a lot of transfers. We'll get started with a new donor when i am better and hope for success because this will be the last fresh round we can afford now we are starting from scratch having only got 1 embryo. It's probably a blessing as i wouldn't want to use frozen ones from this donor anyway. Thank you for your message and enjoy your pregnancy X
I’m so sorry for your loss. Often recurrent early miscarriages/ blighted ovums are linked to an overactive immune response to the embryo. I would suggest getting referred on the NHS for Natural Killer Cell blood testing with either Dr Quenby at Warwick or Professor Shehata at Epsom and Helier hospital in Surrey. I think there is also more information on it on Tommy’s website. I would personally do that before a final transfer. Best of luck.
I'd 10/10 recommend Prof Quenby. Appts are over telephone and you're sent forms to get blood taken locally to you (she works out of Coventry Hospital).
Wait time was 3-4 months when we were referred last summer. She then keeps referral open so you can call up and go back for follow up appts. These are usually bookable within a week to 10 days.
Oh brilliant, thanks so much for the info and advice. I will get on this straight away. 👍
Thank you so much for your message and advice. Yes I have been starting to worry about this as I've read some stuff on here. That's really helpful thank you. I will write to my GP.
