BFN 3rd failed transfer. Don't know which way to turn

[Apricottree]

I'm utterly devastated to find out today our 3rd transfer has failed. I've done everything I possibly can and feel so hopeless. What do I do now....wallow or try keep busy? Is it best to quit now or try another round which is likely to fail due to health conditions. This has wrecked my life and wellbeing but can't face the thought that this might be it. So deeply sorry for everyone who has experienced this grief.

[Millbanks]

Hi lovely,

I’m so sorry to hear this - it’s heartbreaking 💔 and I’ve been there many times.

Have you had any additional tests done? I had success after adding steroids and intralipids in for my 6th transfer.

I would definitely say drink some wine and wallow a bit. It’s a shitty time so allow yourself to feel crap then pick yourself up and look at next steps xx

[CyclingAddict]

I'm so sorry - it's tough, that's for sure. Right now I wouldn't make any decisions. Give yourself time to grieve. I'm finally 8 weeks pregnant and it was my 6th transfer (still not out of the danger zone yet, but this is the furthest I've got with any of my transfers - 4 of them didn't implant at all). Have you looked into EMMA and ALICE testing? That really helped my consultant work out exactly the right time to transfer (for me I needed an extra day of progesterone). I also took vaginal probiotics in the lead-up as my bacteria culture wasn't quite optimal. Also, I'd suggest getting tested for any thyroid conditions/autoimmune conditions. I discovered I had one in the process (despite having no obvious symptoms) and was put of medication and steroids, which seemed to have helped. I know it's awful, each and every time. I hope you're with a good clinic who can work with you to address why the transfers aren't working. Good luck and sending all my love x

[Natasha2012]

I am on 2 transfers and feel completely the same . No one wants to help or take me on in a holistic way it seems like it’s just a keep going approach. I’m not the same person I was going into it and my marriage is wrecked . We started this journey for a reason and only you know when enough is enough . Look after yourself and try to keep hold of who you are , grief is a horrible horrible thing . Don’t let it take hold xxx

[Doodlebug23]

So sorry to hear this. I’ve had 6 failed (1 chemical) transfers so I totally understand how you feel. This last time both myself and my clinic threw everything at it yet still BFN and unexplained implantation failure. My embryos are untested but from young donors so at least 1 should have stuck!

I wallowed for a couple of days and thought I’d got away lightly, then it hit me like a ton of bricks about a week later. Just do whatever helps you, and don’t try and force anything just yet. You need time to grieve as as I get reminded it’s a loss.

But. Don’t give up! IVF has taken over my life both emotionally and financially but I’m not beaten yet! 💪🏻