I've had 3 egg freezing cycles this year - 1st one around May, second in June and coming up to third end of this month. I am doing it single, which has definitely intensified feelings of loneliness/failure - that at 37 while most of my friends are having/trying for babies, I am egg freezing and living alone.
The hormones certainly have made me pretty angry and there is one friendship that sadly has ended.
During the argument, I did apologise for being quite so combative and said that I was going through a lot with doing 3 rounds of egg freezing in about 5 months. My friend stated that half the population goes through IVF and it's no big deal.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter what she thinks, I am done with the friendship.
But it does get you thinking....is 3 cycles in 5 months a lot? Is it fairly standard? How many cycles is average over how long?
I don't think I can deal with a 4th cycle this year so I am leaving it now but just curious.
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Eggfreezing36
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I think 3 cycles in 5 months is a lot. ‘IVF is no big deal’ can only be uttered by someone who’s not been through it - it’s a huge deal. It’s physically, emotionally and financially exhausting. And much, much less than half the population go through it.
I don’t know what’s ‘average’ - it depends on what you are doing, egg freezing is different to a cycle where you then create and transfer an embryo, cause that will always take longer and you’re less likely to do them so close together…. I never did more than two in a year but that’s because we had frozen transfers in between…. 🤷🏼♀️
Agreed....I think she also thinks that egg freezing isn't as "hard" as IVF...and a) it doesn't matter what is harder and b) it is hard in a different way. You are doing it alone, no supportive partner, no hugs etc....and you really FEEL being alone during it and the whole process is essentially a giant reminder you are single.
Curious how many egg freezing cycles women do, financially it's a lot to do 3 (£16,000) so yeah, I think I have been through a lot financially emotionally and physically and sod that friend!
I think for egg freezing most have a total collection goal? Say 20 mature eggs or so. It may helpbto focus on your egg collection goal rather than which cycle ypu are on? If you are halfway or exceed your goal then treat youself to celebrate your success. The goal depends on your age, hormone profile, how many live births you're aiming for, etc. (Just a goal nothing in IVF is garenteed 😞)
I did embryo banking at 39-40. I planned to do 6 cycles in 12 months, but stopped after 5 as my body was saying "enough." (My family were also saying this as I was pretty useless around the house and for my child by cycle 4.) Every cycle takes a bit out of you and the higher the stims the more potential impacts on your body (Cardiac, kidney etc.) - so these cycles are not "risk free." Egg freezing as I understand it is harder as you are on a longer protocol and they push for more eggs.
Also most aren't able to actually do a cycles back-to-back months as you seem to have done as most develop cysts (from follicles developing/continuing to grow post collection). Cycts can impact follicle development/egg maturation and egg quality, so the rest is worth it. So I can imagine that it's even harder without a rest cycle - less time to reset mentally too. That said you might want to speak to others who have done egg freezing. For my friends who have done it they were forced to have a longer rest period (4-6 months) between cycles to maximize collections. Rest cycles help all around health unless you are in a hurry...
Agree with McQueeny only someone who has not been down the multiple collection "IVF route" or who had success the first try would say it's no big deal or everyone does it. Definitely put her on mute!
I know what you mean. I have focused on 3 egg cycles as that's what I have paid for and also, I am not comfortable with the cancer risk necessarily from doing more. I know the fertility industry has been quick to say there is no link but I have found other articles and to me it's obvious there would be - everything these days has a link after all, fizzy drinks, processed meat etc!
If there was no risk I would consider doing a 4th round next year, but I am not currently happy with it so it's uncertain.
Yep I didn't have any cysts (or none my clinic saw) and they said there was no benefit/risk to carrying on or taking a break, so I've pressed ahead! I don't know much about embryo banking as I just egg freezing, sounds intense tho!
I have 13 eggs so far and hoping for 20+ from my third round end of August! My ideal would be 30 eggs....but know I won't get that from one more round!
I can't stop thinking about the quality point you mentioned now. My clinic didn't mention doing 3 rounds in this time period could impact numbers or quality or I definitely wouldn't have gone ahead. Everything is so confusing!
Too late now to worry about what was done in the past, more a comment if you do more rounds.
Embryo banking is similar process to what you are doing - you focus on multiple egg collections in a short period of time to get as many eggs as you can before you get any older. Only difference is that they are fertilizing the eggs so they have an opportunity to potentially tweak stims cycles as you go. The protocols though are typically less intense/shorter when you are stimming to make Embryos (at least based on what my egg freezing friends have done), but it's not necessarily the case.
Something that may help or not...the vast majority of heterosexuals who freeze their eggs never need to use them (as high as 80%). They find a partner and get pregnant naturally. This is an insurance plan that you hope to never need to claim on 😀
You got this and once the hormones flush from your system you will feel 1000% better!
YES, I was somewhere lately and talking about egg freezing to a friend. A woman interrupted who was pregnant (naturally at 44!!!) to say this, she froze her eggs and never used them. I really hope it happens, but my god online dating is shocking. If I could pay god to find me a man I like and who wants to commit and is good, I would lol!
Interesting re embryo freezing, the technology really is amazing. I wish I had been on higher stims last round as they started me on 150 iu and 225 iu of Meriofert and Fostimon, kicked me up to 225iu on both after 3 days. This time I am starting straight away on 225 iu but wish they had done it last time.
Yeah the down reg is the worst! I promise once the hormones flush out of your system you'll look back and realize that many or at least some of the negative feelings you are feeling now are related to the hormones. I am a very happy and optimistic person, but these hormones make me looney, especially the ovulation blockers (e.g. down reg meds). Back to back with prolonged hormones made me very crazy by the end - I wasn't myself at all.
Egg freezing or IVF for embryo making we all go through it on this forum!
Yes I think 3 in 5 months is a lot, I have done 2 this year and definitely emotionally drained, you have done really well and should be proud of what you have achieved.
And wow the conment from the friend, sorry you had to hear that. I don't think the comment was fair or empathetic at all and distancing from that friendship seems sensible to me too, surround yourself with the right kind if people
Yeah, the friendship hadn't been good for a while and the hormones during down reg make you so damn angry I was just constantly arguing with her and getting annoyed with everything she said. She probably didn't mean to but I found her whole stance that IVF was much worse when it didn't work etc sort of diminished the struggles of what I am going through in terms of not even having a partner and watching time run out....who knows maybe she was trying to make me feel better but I didn't like it x
2 egg collection rounds for ivf, first one didn't get any blasts so had to do another round and then done a fresh transfer after 2nd one.
Haha I definitely relate to the hormones bit about being angry, I tried my upmost to be even calmer than normal but with loads of stress from every angle I did flip out at my mums husband, he totally deserved it with his comments (not even ivf related) and I think the hormones made me call things out more plainly and think about myself, protect myself and how I was feeling as I knew how important this time was to be around good positive energy!
Oh yes the angry hormones. I wrote a scathing note to the couple in the flat above me who are always so damn noisy saying why do they have to stamp around so much and no one else in 5 years has been as noisy as them. Now when I see them in the corridor it feels so awkward and we don't even say hi lol
Just here to show solidarity. What your friend said would have made me apoplectic! I’m 44, single and live alone - so completely understand how you’re feeling. I had a failed IVF cycle in May, and am in the middle of another one right now. I’ve not told any of my friends or family what I’m doing - only my parents know. I’m feeling absolutely exhausted and worn out - I’ve not slept properly all week because I’ve been dreading the update calls from the embryologist. And I can’t even begin to tell you how much money I’ve spent - my clinic is extortionate. Hang in there - you’re doing amazingly! ❤️
Yeah, I have found the mid thirties and onwards the most difficult time yet tbh...as when you are single and friends are marrying and having babies you really notice the shift. No one to do long girls trips with, weekends sometimes it's a real effort to make plans etc. Add in fertility stuff and it's even more isolating!
Fingers crossed for your current IVF cycle, I hope it is successful xxx
I’m so so sorry to hear this and absolutely right to distance from this person who is clearly no true friend. I’ve done 3 rounds of egg collection/ fresh transfer IVF, 2 FETs, a mock cycle for biopsy, and a cycle for hysteroscopy, all in 12 months and feel broken. Facing doing more as we’ve not had success yet. All my friends having babies/due in past 12 months/ next few months. It’s so hard. And I have no idea what I’d do without my DH. So really feel for you. I can only send strength and understanding. You’re doing so well!!
Thanks so much! Sorry you are feeling so bad and I really hope things pick up and you get success. I can't imagine the disappointment of it not working....I am in blissful ignorance of that part at this stage as once the eggs are frozen i am not able to do anything more as have no partner and don't want to do solo x
Eggfreezing36 - you are incredible for doing this alone. I struggle with it all and I have a partner.
I think it’s a lot but I’m in a similar boat to you- I had 2 fresh cycles and 1 frozen cycle in 2021 (back to back). Last year I had a further 2 fresh cycles - both ended in ectopic pregnancies (and removal of tubes). I just had my 6th fresh cycle and it sadly failed.
I never produce enough eggs to do a freeze so I usually have just one to put back in (only the first time I did ivf and I’m trying to save them- I only used 1 for a frozen round).
IVF is such a big deal but no one understands the pain, emotion, energy, money etc that goes into it unless they have been through it themselves. They have absolutely no idea! I didn’t when my sister went through it. She did 10 rounds (1 fresh and the rest frozen). Only when I started going through it myself did I realise how hard it all was. I even said I was sorry I wasn’t there for her enough during it all.
I asked similar questions to you- I was worried it was too much pumping all this into my body but my consultant wasn’t worried about that- she said its ok/safe but the worry is for my mental health and well-being. I was almost pushing for another cycle to keep me from breaking over the last one failing..It’s only when i had my ectopic that I was forced to stop because of surgery and that’s when all the pain/emotion hit.
Stick to it and keep going. I would suggest getting some sort of counselling or support as it does really help xxxx
Oh god it sounds like you are going through the wars! I am really sorry to hear of your etopic pregnancies and tube removal - that is really tough. Perhaps a break and a nice holiday could help to re-set and get you in a better frame of mind? I know that may be tricky with finances and IVF costing so much but really sounds like you need it?
It's different sorts of issues for us all isn't it, for me I get so frustrated with online dating and the thought of "settling" just to have someone, and struggles with being happy for my friends when an engagement or pregnancy is announced and makes me feel like I am left behind/failing. I also had a male friend/situationship for a few years that completely bailed on me when I started all of this. We had an argument and he hasn't spoken to me since, so I've had to deal with the hurt of being ghosted after a few years just like that on top of it all. I still feel hurt and resentful towards him which hasn't helped...I almost want to get to 40 to say goodbye to the 30's!!
I also find with egg freezing i don't know how relaxed I should feel as can't tell the quality so that's another thing that's a mystery!
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