What I witnessed last night

[Aurora20]

Hi ladies I hope you are all doing well and enjoying the sunshine! I hope no one takes offense to this but I had get it off my chest.

I was out for dinner last night and I see a heavily pregnant girl in her late twenties maybe early thirties come outside sit down with a large glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Im hoping my eyes made a mistake because i dont understand how people can be so selfish and vile with thier actions. Its like she had no care in the world she was carying the most precious thing. I woke up and cant stop thinking about it I hope I havent upset anyone with this. I knew you ladies would understand my anger xxxx

[Star241]

I’m with you honestly there are no words!!!!!

[Aurora20 in reply to Star241]

I just don’t understand some people I really wanted to say something to her but my partner said don’t there’s no point ‘stupid people do stupid things’ 🙄

[Star241 in reply to Aurora20]

They do indeed I remember being in the labour ward and ladies about to go in ha ivf a fag outside!

[ZiggyandBC]

Absolutely with you on this! Things like that make me so angry, hope you’re okay xx

[Aurora20 in reply to ZiggyandBC]

Honestly it ruined the dinner all I could think about was this difficult journey we are all on and then there are people like that don’t give any thought to it, I sat there before ordering deciding should I have a glass of wine is it worth it and then there she is pouring it down her throat!! 🤦🏻‍♀️ xxx

[Hidden]

That's terrible.....I could never do that....x

[Babyrainbow]

I have had friends who got pregnant without even trying and they were so upset that they had to quit drinking for the nine months after they found they were pregnant. So they still went for a bunch of non alcoholic wines (yes they do exist) and still being upset that this was a huge sacrifice. I had to hear how big a sacrifice it was on a official offsite from one of my colleagues when I had not had a drink for like years as I was in and out of ivf and could not risk it. Just feel that it is a different world for folks who have it easy.

[Aurora20 in reply to Babyrainbow]

Completely different world it makes me realise how strong and amazing we actually all are

[Hidden]

I hear you lovely. A colleague of mine drank and smoked heavily throughout both her pregnancies and her girls are perfect. Yet another girl I know drank really heavily and ended up having a still birth. I guess we just have to focus on our own stories and try and not get hurt by other people, because we don't know what's going on in their lives, but I 100% can see why that would have upset you so much. Hugs xx

[Aurora20 in reply to Hidden]

It’s just unfair isn’t it, the people who deserve it have to go through so much and those who don’t seem to care pop them out! I know your right I don’t like to judge because we never know what someone has been through but just seeing her actions made my blood boil xx

[JudithSS]

Oh babe! My clinic is attached to a hospital. A few weeks ago I seen a lady who was in labour and had canuleas in her hands and smoking. On Wednesday we seen 2 others both smoking one in a wheelchair!! It gets on my tits but I look at the life and how fortunate we are and think it is what it is. My husband says it’s unfair etc but others could say the same about us 🤷🏼‍♀️ Take it easy darling and do something you enjoy 😘

[Aurora20 in reply to JudithSS]

What a joke 🤦🏻‍♀️ Very true but I just hope their babies don’t get affected they didn’t ask to come into this world, I had a rant again to my partner and he says the same it’s unfair but what can we do. Just need to focus on ourselves I put on my favourite tv show the inbetweeners which was always makes me giggle 🥰

[JudithSS in reply to Aurora20]

I used to work with a girl who drank and smoked properly with both pregnancies! Both kids have asthma, she’s put that down to the baby daddy, nothing at all to do with the 10’fags a day! You do you babe and all will be tight ❤️

[butterfliez]

Oh I totally understand how this would cause you distress & anger ! Going through fertility struggles/ ivf etc , we try our best to be as healthy & careful as we can & in my case during my pregnancy last year super careful avoiding caffeine & seeing people because of covid etc etc knowing I had the most precious gift growing inside me & wanting to protect her with all I could ( for my daughter to be stillborn) then seeing others who are pregnant who somewhat take things for granted carrying on as if they are not even pregnant , it does rattle me to the core because my daughters cause of death was placenta abruption which the risk factors are Smoking amongst other things , ( I’ve never smoked a day in my life ) then to see my neighbours daughter who was due just weeks after me stood outside chain smoking & drinking red bull just days after I come home from the hospital without my baby . I don’t know how I didn’t shout at her !!

I know we shouldn’t judge others in what they do as it’s ultimately there choice how they act but it’s just so selfish I think how can these people not want to protect there babies & give them the best healthy start.

I hope your feeling ok today x

[Aurora20 in reply to butterfliez]

I’m so sorry life can be so cruel sometimes, I hope your doing as well as you can be? I completely agree they chose to do those actions without a care other than for themselves. What annoys me there are so many kids out there suffering from woman like them and they are just add more into the world. I hope you are able to gain your strength back for the next chapter in your life xx

[MyLittlePinkness in reply to butterfliez]

I am so so sorry for your loss💕💕💕

[Catwind]

I see that it can be upsetting especially when it seems we’re making so many sacrifices to get and stay pregnant. However I would not judge her too harshly. We don’t know her story and yes it is irresponsible to drink and smoke while pregnant but I’m sure I’m doing several things that frustrate others too and I would not want to be judged. So that’s my approach and frankly our own struggles are enough without adding someone else’s decision making into the mix. You saw, you observed, you moved on. Focus on you.

[JoP32]

Totally with you. This sort of thing makes my blood boil xxx

[Puhi in reply to JoP32]

I sent you a pm.

[Bozo_the_pumpkin]

I don’t t smoke but do have non-alcoholic beer all the time- I bet some people think I’m boozing it up

[MyLittlePinkness]

Am totally with you. Sometimes i think people don’t deserve their babies. I know that’s a terrible thought…..I remember having just had my third early loss and a girl who worked in a shop i go to was outside it smoking. She told me she was pregnant and that she didn’t really want it and she was wondering if she should give up the drinking….😳😳😳 luckily my Mum was with me or i think i might have hit her.

*SENSITIVE* ….last week I had my little miracle in an emergency section, i had come in with no fetal movement and was waiting to find out what was going on and if they were going to deliver her…and in the bed beside me was a woman pregnant with twins (naturally) with 3 others at home …and she was in and out like a yo yo smoking. Again i thought you don’t deserve them.

Ivf is a hideous journey. And we all know how precious a baby is. Some people don’t know how good they have it. Ok my rant over🙂

I wish you all the luck and baby dust in the world on your journey, stay strong 💕💕

[butterfliez in reply to MyLittlePinkness]

congrats on your baby daughter glad all went well in the end after that scare!! hope your both doing well xx

[Bella_Bee]

I understand the feeling it inspires but live and let live. The extreme, ie abortion is legal in this country and we should always support a woman's right to choose despite our aching for a baby. With regards to smoking, I lived in Asia for a bit. In Papua women are 6 foot and weigh 17-20 stone. They chain smoke rolled up tobacco with no filter and have healthy chunky babies despite the lack of maternity care. Even here when you get pregnant, if you smoke, the GP will say "try to quit but not if it stresses you out too much". It's not a direct causation. Smoking may lead to smaller baby but it doesn't cause death. For clarity, I don't smoke and struggled to have a baby in various ways for 6 years. It's the parents who abuse and hurt their children that I could skin alive.

[Goldenegg1]

Stuff like that makes me really angry because it’s a gift you should wrap up tight for ever and keep safe.

What you can’t do let it do is consume you because you can’t change what she chooses to do. You can only hope that the baby is ok.

Never under any circumstances would I intentionally put my baby in any sort of danger.

Makes me so mad!

And breath 🤬🤯

[Gemstone78]

I went out for dinner with my hubby and had alcohol free wine and saw a few peeps looking at me and shaking their heads 🙈

[Trying6years]

Makes me so angry. When I walked in to the women & children’s entrance at hospital, about to give birth to our precious and longed for IVF baby in the worst circumstances (born sleeping at 5months) there was a heavily pregnant woman outside smoking.. again when we had to walk through the same entrance to attend the post-mortem consultation.. it’s such a kick in the teeth knowing I done everything right and everything still went so wrong - and they will likely give birth with no worries.. xx

[HollyT7]

I hear you. you get really judgy, even more than if we didn't have to the difficulties that we've had to. I know that everyone has their own excuses for doing what they do but when you look at things face value it makes you angry.

I had to go to a social care meeting to visit someone about having their (second) unborn child taken away, she was sat outside the building on the floor smoking away (better than seeing her take the drugs so admitted to 🤷🏻‍♀️) and I just thought, you just 'get pregnant' aren't bothered about what's currently happening, or the fact this baby will be taken, yet here I am, verging on a breakdown and putting everything in to even conceive, to the extend I banned my other half even eating peas!... and it made me reach my limit, I ended up getting signed off work after that.

[Heres_Hoping]

I can totally identify with your feelings. Whilst I was nearly beside myself trying to fall pregnant, some days lying 'spatchcock-chicken' on the bathroom floor in tears of despair, I watched our pregnant next door neighbour puffing and drinking away.

I really can't put into words what I felt ... mostly anger and ire at this woman subjecting her unborn baby to nicotine and alcohol, when I was 'just' desperate to fall pregnant (and would treat my unborn baby like GOLD).