BFN :( ADVICE PLEASE

[Morgan_27]

I've never written on here before, but feel I need to ask you all for some advice please! So I tested today 12dp5dt and sadly had a BFN. OTD is tomorrow - is there any chance at all the result will change at this point? This is our first round of IVF/ICSI and we put all our hope and faith into this, we didn't even consider it would be negative (not in a naive way, we just remained very positive). Absolutely heartbroken. How long will you have to wait to start round two? Also, anyone who has had success with IVF/ICSI, do you have any advice during the tww please!?After my transfer, the doctor just told me to 'Carry on as normal but don't lift anything heavy' which wasn't much of a help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you all in advance.

[Naddy1]

Hi Morgan....

So sorry to hear about your negative, sending hugs. I know how rubbish it can feel. I doubt things will change from today to tomorrow unfortunately.

We were in a similar position, icsi and first round ended in a chemical pregnancy which was heartbreaking. We were allowed to have out FET after our next bleed so not too long to wait. We are now 9 weeks from that round.

Not got much advice hun my clinic said it makes no difference what you do post transfer so i just carried on with my normal day both times.

The tww is an absolute killer. I actually ended up working more to take my mind off it all, otherwise your mind goes crazy!

Remember to be kind to yourself xxxxx

[Morgan_27 in reply to Naddy1]

Thank you so much for your response. Congratulations! Always lovely to hear it's worked for others. That's good to know nothing will make a difference. The waiting and wondering drives you mad and when it was negative this morning I just kept thinking I should have done things differently during the wait. I suppose either the baby will choose to stay or not. Thank you xxx

[Sparklylife]

I am sorry 😔

Wishing you all the best for your follow up with your clinic and hopefully you can do another round quite soon 🤞 Did you get any frozen or would it be another fresh round?

I don’t have any advice for 2ww either, my clinic said the same. They said it is up to nature now and nothing you can do either way. I just got told to keep up as normal, but avoid heavy lifting for 2 weeks. I ended up ignoring the cleaning/vacuuming that needed doing and felt it can all wait. They just said if you are in doubt if you should do it or not, maybe don’t - it won’t make a difference they said, but just so I would not blame myself if it did not work out.

Just ate as normal, but perhaps tried to get a little more vegetables and fruit daily. Hydrate and rest when you need it! I decided to take a few days off work, but then went back to keep my mind off it.

I do wish you all the best!! 🤞Big hug 🧡

[Morgan_27 in reply to Sparklylife]

Thank you for responding! Unfortunately no frozen embryos 😞 we had 8 mature eggs, only 2 fertilised and only was one was suitable for transfer as the other didn't reach blastocyst stage. So another fresh round it would have to be. I'm glad to hear you were told the same in the sense that it really is just a case of luck if the baby sticks or not and not to worry about what we should or shouldn't have done during the tww! Thank you for the response, it has definitely helped ❤️

[lfren in reply to Morgan_27]

Hi Morgan, we had a similar result on IVF ICSI - 10 eggs retrieved, 7 mature enough to inject, only three fertilised and only one made it to day 5. I was quite despondent about the low fertilisation rate, but I think it's actually pretty standard. In the run up to the cycle, I found the blog theduff quite helpful - the author says that, once transferred, the embryo is "like a grain of sand in a peanut butter sandwich" - that is, it won't fall out. There is not much you can do to affect the outcome of the transfer negatively or positively, it's largely down to the embryo's genetic make-up. I have taken the tack also recommended by Sparklylife that if I am in doubt, I won't do it to avoid (unfairly) blaming myself if the cycle should fail, but in reality most of what we do won't affect the outcome one way or another.

[Morgan_27 in reply to lfren]

Thank you for sharing this info ❤ I think we spend so much time trying to convince ourselves that if we had done something differently the outcome would be different also, but I think you're right in saying that there's not much we can do other than let it do it's thing, and whatever will be will be. Fingers crossed the next round will deliver better results - there's always hope ❤

[Lisichka]

Sorry to hear about the negative, it’s not easy to process, especially when you stayed positive all along.I’ve had five transfers in total so did different things in preparation and also during the TWW. For my successful transfer, here’s what I did:

The day after transfer I was making beetroot, ginger and watermelon juice (doesn’t taste amazing but you can Google a study where it showed that it helps with implantation). I drank it until OTD and after for 2 weeks. My clinic was also big on bed rest for 3 days after the transfer. It’s somewhat old fashioned but my doctor was big on it. No sex or orgasms during the TWW. Obviously no exercise, running etc. Drink warm beverages, bone broth, no coffee. Did acupuncture in preparation for about 3 months and then after the transfer twice a week.

I don’t know if any of these were a factor but it worked and I will do it again if we decide to have another transfer in the future. For the previous 4 transfers I didn’t do any bed rest, drank coffee, exercised moderately etc. For transfer #5 I went all out to make sure I’m doing everything I can because i was just tired of it not working and then wondering “what if”.

Wishing you the best with your follow up appointment and new cycle! xx

[Hidden in reply to Lisichka]

💗❤️ all the best. And congratulations ❤️

[Morgan_27 in reply to Lisichka]

Thank you for the advice! I will definitely take it all on board, I'll try just about anything in the hope it will help ❤ congratulations, amazing news after 5 transfers! Xxx

[Kcrochet]

Really sorry to hear of your negative result the tww is sent from hell! I don’t think there’s anything you can do to make a difference to the outcome - if it’s going to stick it will stick, it might just take a few goes. Hopefully next time will be the charm xx

[Morgan_27 in reply to Kcrochet]

The tww is the devil, it's guaranteed to give you anxiety! I have to remain positive and keep the faith, definitely. Thank you xxx

[Dbond]

I am really sorry to hear that Morgan. I am in the same boat. Did one day early test today and it’s a BFN. Having waited for one more day would not have changed anything This was our 2nd attempt at FET. 1st one was a non viable pregnancy. I can understand how heartbreaking that is especially when you try to stay positive and the result turns out opposite. I was very stressed this time around in the 2 week wait. And now I think about all the things I could have done differently. At the end of the day what is meant to be will be. Big hugs to you. Xx

[Morgan_27 in reply to Dbond]

I'm so sorry to hear that 😔 it's such a horrible feeling isn't it. Big hugs to you as well. The tww is horrendous, and trying to remain positive feels impossible when you're heartbroken, but we will have our babies one day xxx

[Cinna-mom]

Hello. I’ve been pregnant naturally and have had kids before so I was also optimistic. But it took 3 rounds of ivf, an ERA, extra estrogen and 2 blastocysts on the last transfer to get a bfp. It might take u more than one attempt but it will be worth it in the end🤗.

[NurseSteph]

I had three FET, 3rd one was successful. I was told no baths, no sex, no exercise (some research shows your HR shouldnt go above 120 when trying to implant). I bought a whole pineapple, I ate the entire thing including the core from day one until I finished like four days approx. I drank 2oz of POM juice every morning. Good luck.