Sensitive post - it doesn’t feel real!

[HelenJudi1]

Hello all...

I was fortunate enough to get my first BFP at the end of October. I’m ten weeks today 🤞🏻 and I’ve had two scans so far, my viability scan at 7+5 and then a second scan by choice for reassurance for myself at 9+2 ... at my last scan the baby was measuring 9+2 and there was a strong heartbeat ❤️ today we are home (we live about 400miles from family due to work) and we are having a huge family day for Christmas as both me and my OH are working the festive period this year. Our plan is tell our family today or we won’t have an opportunity to tell them face to face again until February... my OH is so excited but I can’t help but still feel like this isn’t real and at any moment it is going to be taken away. My OH very much has the mentality of let’s live for the moment in the moment and enjoy it. I want to be like that but I just don’t feel it... does this feeling ever go away? I just feel anxious ... ❤️

[Leigh2244]

Hi I will be exactly the same. When we go through this process especially ivf with all the ups and downs it can be so hard to get excited.

I have just found out I’m pregnant after my 5th attempt. My 1st one I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks just before the 12 weeks scan so I won’t be telling anyone until I’ve gotten to that stage.

But you have all of your family around you and it’s the perfect time of year also you’ve had your second scan and everything looking well. So go with the moment and enjoy it. Xxx

[HelenJudi1 in reply to Leigh2244]

A close friend of mine had a MMC just before her 12 week scan and all had been well at previous ones so I am worried. But I also don’t want to spend my pregnancy worrying about what could happen instead of enjoying what is happening. It’s hard though!!

Good luck with your pregnancy 🤞🏻❤️

[Kyell2]

It’s so hard to keep the IVF anxiety at bay. I think because infertility gets you into the mindset that everything is out of your control that you just expect it to go wrong (well I did anyway).

I wasn’t brave enough to tell family until 12 weeks (and 3 scans) and my OH is only just telling his friends and colleagues at 18 weeks (and 6 scans down).

Enjoy your Christmas Day, enjoy everyone else’s happiness for your news and try to keep the faith that all will be well xx

[HelenJudi1 in reply to Kyell2]

Thank you. My sister in law told me she was pregnant at like 6 weeks before any scans and my cousin was around 9 weeks and 7 weeks with her pregnancies. We are all close and they were very much like, if the worst was to happen I would need you for support so they told family. It’s that kinda reason I thought saying now might be good too. It’s hard living so far away sometimes... so being all together is when we get to enjoy that. If that makes sense?xx

[MissSaoPaulo]

There's that awful feeling that you could 'jinx' it all if you tell people too soon, but it really is the perfect opportunity and you'll make so many lovely memories so go ahead and enjoy your extra special Christmas day. After waiting so long to have some good news we deserve to be able to share it in the way we want to.

Anyway, hope you enjoy your day and the rest of your pregnancy xxx

[HelenJudi1 in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thank you! My OH is so excited. I’m going to try and let go of my anxiety for a day and enjoy the excitement. I really thought this day would never happen for us. Thank you again for your reply xx

[HollyT7]

Hey I'm 18+1 and I still feel like that sometimes. We've only told our parents and his siblings, I have a huge family but haven't said anything yet. My worry started to settle after our last private scan at 16 weeks so it does ease off but I do still have days now when I'm like... Is it still there 🙄 I tend to go about 2 weeks before I feel the urge for a scan just to feel OK about it all.

I think part of it is because we've fought for this and it just feels like play acting sometimes as I was really unsure we would even get this far, let alone after our chemical. So it does get easier....just take one day at a time and if it doesn't feel right then wait, do whatever helps you to feel better about it all. This is your time and I'm sure your family will understand xxx

[HelenJudi1]

Two weeks seems to be my limit too hence the 7weeks and 9 weeks. I think I feel guilty not telling family because I had to tell work really early (day after I found out) as I have what is described as a ‘High Risk’ job so I needed to tell them so I could go to a ‘safe’ post. If that makes sense? It feels wrong almost stranger work colleagues knowing - the post I am in pretty much puts a sign post above your head. You only go there for one reason. And my nearest and dearest not, even though I’m not exactly comfortable with telling everyone just now. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! ❤️🤞🏻 xx

[Tiddly1984]

It does go away the more the pregnancy progresses, but the anxiety never fully abates until baby is born which I think is natural. You do learn to enjoy it though...x

[Refocus]

I feel exactly the same. I'm 10 weeks today and last scan was at 7+5 weeks. I really want to be happy and enjoy it but am terrified it will all fall apart. We've just got to believe in it and what will be will be. Our next scan isn't until 30th January and my first midwife appointment is on Monday which seems crazy to have it before the 12 week scan! Everything crossed for you and we'll try and keep each other sane on here. Xxx

[HelenJudi1 in reply to Refocus]

Congratulations! We are the we act same dates it seems then!! I have an appointment with my midwife before the 12 week scan too which seems crazy to me too! My next scan is the 19th of December... I just tried to enjoy today and still trying to not overthink everything my body does!! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!! 🤞🏻❤️🤞🏻

[Refocus in reply to HelenJudi1]

I meant to also say, definitely tell your family! It sounds like the perfect moment and if anything did go wrong, you would probably want /need their support. It might also help you to start enjoying your pregnancy and believing in it as they will all be so excited xxx