I would love some advice as I am panicking. Iāve just come back my last scan, got 6 follicles and they will call me this afternoon to confirm EC for Monday.
But I am so incredibly apprehensive that I havenāt properly prepped for this cycle. I only read It Starts with the Egg this past week and I wish I had added a few supplements that were recommended several weeks prior to starting the cycle. I only ever get a couple eggs so I know Iāve got to be completely across the quality area.
I asked my clinic about cancelling and they told me they will only charge me 1/5 of the cost (for the meds) if I donāt go through to EC.
My concern is that if I go ahead and it is unsuccessful (and I am feeling completely doomed about it ) then I will lose a few months while my body completely recovers before I can cycle again... on the other hand, perhaps I should consider doing a back-to-back cycle... but am not sure how well my body will respond to it? Has anyone had any experience with this? Did they get better results?
I am 42 and Iām aware time is not on my side. I am really trying adopt a positive mind set for the current cycle but canāt stop kicking myself. I wish Iād given myself a few more weeks to prep. I am open to any and all suggestions, you can give it to me straight, I appreciate any thoughts... xx
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Iām 41 and currently doing my first cycle and so totally get the time pressure that hangs over everything.
Iāve also had many moments when Iāve seen stuff I should be doing and have panicked. In those moments I tell myself that there are a million variables at play with IVF and mostly I canāt control them so there is no point beating myself up for not having acupuncture or eating a pineapple or taking the right supplements. It sounds like you need to give yourself a break and go with what feels right for you. I havenāt read it Starts with the Egg and am taking no supplements other than Folic acid if that helps reassure at all. Best of luck xx
Thanks so much for your reply. It brought me off the ledge and I told the clinic Iāll go ahead with it. Youāre right, thereās so many variables at play, whose to say a couple more supplements will make the difference...in the end Iāll never know what helped and what didnāt. Iāll worry about future cycles should I need to š¤š»
Had a look at your profile, amazing follicle count and lining sounds great too! Good luck, hope you get your BFP xx
I may not be able to help because I am in the same boat, but, these are my honest thoughts on your situation.
1/ As long as you are taking a good prenatal vitamin that's the most important thing. My understanding is that folic acid is the most important vitamin you must take to help ensure a healthy baby. Pregnacare preconception was recommended to me. It contains all the safe/ necessary amounts of other key vitamins and minerals required at preconception.
2/ I've been told that you should take supplement's at least 3 months prior to make a difference. My understanding with DHEA is there is evidence on egg quality improvement but I have no idea to what level and over what time you would really need to be taking the supplement's to make a significant difference.
3/ I have read some of 'It Starts with the Egg'. It is full of positive tips, (the info on toxins & plastics is interesting), but it also did my head in to be honest and made me feel I wasn't doing enough to conceive.
That's not good because stress is really bad for aiding conception.
I think because we all desperately want to conceive we'd almost do anything to make it happen. I just think eat a balanced diet full of organic fruit, veg, and fish, take regular exercise and cut out processed foods and alcohol.
4/ I have been told by my clinic it isn't necessary to wait more than 1 month between treatment cycles, it depends on how your head is coping with it all. At our age I'd say don't waste time.
Personally for me I feel happiest and most positive when I am moving forward, taking positive action towards improving our chances and not wasting time in limbo between cycles so my advice would be GO FOR IT!
Maybe go an do a big healthy food shop, load up your cupboards with lovely foods, and do some relaxing things like swimming? I always feel that washes away all my anxieties when I am feeling very stressed.
Hi. Thank you for your wise words, youāre a great help, really appreciate your response.
To be honest I havenāt read the book cover to cover (still need to read the plastics stuff and few other bits) but it seems itās also had the same impact on me...that I havenāt been doing enough. I suppose that is easily achieved as I tend to be hard on myself. But itās validating to hear Iām not on my own about the book!
Thanks for your advice too, if I have to consider another cycle, Iāll do it soon after. Itās a process in which we have such little control, so taking positive steps forward has always empowered me. I feel Iām at the pointy end of my journey so I usually feel better when I have a plan.
Thanks again- I went to yoga and cooked a healthy dinner so feeling much calmer.
Where are you up to? Are you currently doing a cycle? X
I'm so pleased you are feeling a little better about everything - sounds like you are back on track and ready for action!!
I'm at the start of our second cycle this year so am trying to submerge myself into all things positive, healthy and happy. I'm working hard to super charge my mind and body ready for the road ahead.
Keep in touch, and drop me a line any time you fancy a 'chat' or need an honest second opinion on anything.
Have a lovely rest of weekend. The sun is shining where we are today.
Yes Iām feeling better and in the swing of it now. Went to EC yesterday and got 6 but only 2 left as of today. Scheduled for transfer tomorrow š¤š»
Good to hear youāre staying positive and surrounding yourself with the same, thereās so much to be said for mindset...itās much more powerful than we know!
Thank you...you might hear from me during this wait Sending you lots of positive, healthy and happy baby vibes.
That's brilliant. I have got everything crossed for you, and yes please do drop me a note anytime. I fully understand the insanity of the 2 week wait and how isolating it can feel. It can drive you a bit potty especially if you don't have people to talk to.
One of the toughest things i've found about treatment is not being able to talk to people about how I feel. My husband is amazing but he is a man and his brain is wired completely differently to mine. ie: once he's talked about something he generally doesn't feel he needs to discuss it again, the decision has been made, and we move forward. Whereas I think women need to go over old ground and talk about how they are feeling and everything that's going on around them in order to feel calmer and more assured about stuff. So I often find my head ends up in a bit of a spin going round in circles trying to find answers and reassurance on my own.
My Mum is amazing. She really has been my rock though this process.
I hope you are managing to get some nice chill time before your transfer.
Yes you are right, the head is a powerful thing. Its a real bugger at times. My head literally does my head in at times. I'll be ticking along very nicely with life feeling good and then wammo! Almost from nowhere those little niggling negative thoughts will creep up on me. Grrrrrrr.
Exercise is my savour. It helps blast the negativity out of my system completely.
Will you be working during your 2 week wait or will you take a bit of time out? I think there are some nice meditations you can listen to that are good if you're feeling anxious during the 2 week wait. I only managed to find 1 which I though was any good that I listened to literally on repeat for almost 2 weeks. All the other meditations I found where read by people with really annoying voices! There's a whole series of free meditations by Jackie Brown(visualisation and imagery for IVF). There is a meditation for post embryo transfer which is nice and calming.
So far the 2ww is going okay and Iām not doing my own head in too much, thank you. I think itās because I have such low expectations for this cycle...unfortunately been unable to shift this thinking. On the flip side, perhaps there is a silver lining in it as Iām not that stressed.
I have had the week off and just doing household jobs etc, keeping busy but a lot less stressful than being at work.
Probably my worst offence was last night, day after transfer and my girlfriend (who just lost her brother whom she was very close to) wanted to go for a walk around the bay. I was a bit anxious as it was a brisk 7km walk and as it turned out it was also cold and windy. Not sure how smart that was but I wanted to support her and of course, I have not confided in her about my IVF stuff so she wouldnāt know.
Really glad youāre Mum is an amazing support to you. My mum is in Canada, surrounded by grandchildren and didnāt really appreciate the process when I involved her in it (she thinks itās very easy to achieve) so I told her weāve moved on from IVF to alleviate the pressure. Iāve got a couple of friends here that know and I can talk to, which can be comforting (although still isolating as they donāt walk our walk). Youāre right about men, I think they process things very differently than us. They lose out on all the information we glean from dissecting things! We need that reassurance but I also think it helps us heal.
Thank you for the meditation link š
I will check out Jackie Brown too, need to be more positive!! Stay positive on your end, keep up the exercise (it helps me too). Have you tried the mindful IVF app? I paid for a few āstimming meditationsā but then it asked for more money for transfer and 2ww meditations. I havenāt done that yet...Iāll try yours first š
Please donāt panic. By the time I had my last cycle and transfer I was so fed up with the whole pressure of doing everything perfectly I ditched all the vitamins and supplements and just took folic acid. Iām currently 39 weeks awaiting the arrival of my baby. My other cycles I was so obsessed with all the āextrasā and would feel so guilty if I forgot to take a vitamin. I truly believe that although itās great to look after yourself and be as healthy as you can there are just so
Many other factors in play that are completely out of our control. The cycle I fell pregnant they collected the smallest amount of eggs and my embryo was far less in terms of quality and I took no vitamins but here I am very much pregnant.
I say go for it and be kind to yourself. One of those 6 follicles May be your baby and 6 is a great number the most I ever got was 4. Thereās so much hope in this cycle yet! Youāve got this!
Hi, thanks for this. I need to hear it. Iām quite hard on myself about getting it all right and I need to remember that there are so many factors out of our control at play. Congratulations on getting your BFP! Your approach is inspiring and Iāll keep it in mind, thereās obviously something in it! Best of luck with the birth and motherhood, I already have one and she has been the most wonderful blessing. Enjoy and thanks very much for your reply xx
I'd go for it. 6 eggs sound brilliant and as the others said, all this optimisation can drive you crazy. As long as you are eating relatively healthy and have enough folic acid, I would not worry. They do back-to-back cycles if you want. I had two back-to-back just with medicated IUI (same meds, just no antagonist) and it freaked out my body and mind quite a bit. Good luck with those very likely happy eggies!
Thank you. I had my egg collection this morning. There were 6 but 2 immature and 1 deteriorated...so Iām down to 3 ...which is pretty typical for me. Find out tomorrow how many fertilise. I am going to do another cycle shortly after this one if it doesnāt take, thanks for letting me know this, sounds more common than I thought. Do you mind me asking how your results with back-to-back IUI went? Sounds a bit stressful! Iāve been concerned about back-to-back not being as effective...Would you do it again?
Hi, first lets hope the 3 eggies behave nicely I had one cancelled IUI and then an IUI that did not work and then reacted too much to the drugs again in the following cycle which is not unusual for me (pcos, I make rather too many eggs but probably of questionable quality). I just found it incredibly stressful to have all the injections, then the 2ww and then straight away to injections. There was just no break and I react quite strongly on the meds also emotionally and by belly was just really bruised from the last cycle, so I would not find a place where the needle would not hurt and when I got it out it would bleed for quite a while. If you go for it, ice cubes will be your friends, they helped a lot managing the injections. It might be that this was just this cycle and not due to them being back-to-back (every cycle is a bit different), but yeah...I really did not like this and wanted to take a month off before switching to IVF. It really depends, some people say it is good and increases chances, some say it is stressful, some are happy with it. To be fair, the whole treatment is stress for the body, so maybe just see how you feel after this one and decide then. Do not feel pressured to do one or the other, it is really just about what you can do physically and mentally. Unfortunately this all seems more of a marathon than a short distance run, so it is important to look after your wellbeing and not just optimise yourself as a vessel š»
Hi, thanks for sharing your experience...sounds like back-to-back was really hard on your body...I will keep that in mind, anything that physically stressful is also not good for keeping a positive mindset!
I ended up with 2 eggs fertilised and the other one deteriorated. Had my transfer today so officially in the 2ww š¤š».
Youāre absolutely right...Iām going to focus on the current cycle and see how I feel after. This is a marathon so maintaining well-being is important.
Had a look at your page...I donāt know where youāre up to with honeymooning or cycle but I really hope that wherever you are, things are unfolding as you want them to x
I've had cycles where I did reflexology, acupuncture and it was a disaster where no eggs even fertilised. I have had other cycles where I have just taken a pregnacare vitamin and not much else and done loads better, so don't beat yourself up. It's important to try and relax and take some time out for you. Read, go for walks, mindfulness (down load the app mindful IVF). It will probably do you more good to just take some time out. Just do your best, and be kind to yourself xx good luck xx
Thank you for your reply. This is good food for thought as thereās something to be said for letting go. I downloaded the mindful IVF app last week and listened last night before I did EC today. First time Iāve listened...it really helps to create a positive mindset. Have had a slow day today. Thank you. X
Hello i have a slightly different set of circumstances but my first cycle was cancelled on the 26th of July before egg collection due to poor response because of a clinic error. Iām now due to start my second cycle on the 27th of August. So the clinic can do a fast turn around if you cancel before egg collection.
Thanks so much, I appreciate your response, good to know they can turn it around quickly when they need to.
I did EC this morning and I think Iām going to do another cycle fairly quickly if my current one doesnāt work out. Sounds like youāve had quite the start yourself, thanks for sharing, I really hope this cycle goes much better for you xx
Oh I hope it went ok this morning!! Yeah itās been a bit of a nightmare š. I finished my norethisterone today so just waiting for AF to start stimming again.
Thanks!! You are right!! just waiting for AF to make an appearance so I can get started, currently worrying that I'm on day 4 and there is no sign, fingers crossed she'll arrive today. I hope your 2ww speeds by! Keeping everything crossed for you!!
If itās any consolation the cycle I took various supplements including DHEA & ubiquinol was my worst cycle ever and we ended up with nothing to transfer. My latest cycle I ditched everything except ubiquinol & folic acid and managed 5 eggs with 2 to transfer which seems to be the norm at aged 43.
When I was 39 took nothing but folic acid and a multivitamin and the result of my very first go at IVF is sitting next to me now aged 3.
Wishing you the very best of luck in this very difficult numbers & luck game x
I know, youāre right, it does sound a bit random and very much like a numbers and luck game.
Iām in the 2ww, fingers crossed, but managing my expectations. I will start again soon after this one if it doesnāt take.
Sounds like you are a good advocate for yourself, thatās half the battle, I find.
I got pregnant at 40 with my daughter after a double transfer. It felt a lot easier than now...probably because the age thing is freaking me out a bit.
I hope we can both make this happen just one more time š¤š»
Yep itās only now I realise I won the lottery once but struggling to hit the jackpot again!
Good luck the 2ww is bloody awful I just went through it,after the first week I was up through the night to toilet, sore boobs convinced myself it worked. Tested 3 days before OTD stupidly, got a negative then same on OTD was so convinced it had worked was devastated. We transferred 2 & had nothing to freeze š. At 43 my clinic are suggesting donor eggs now. However am still convinced maybe one more go as my embryos were same quality as the ones I had when 39. Finding it hard to accept and some days think maybe we should just be happy with our one miracle . So disheartening though spending close to 15k with no luck yet.... I know am destined to have 2 kids itās just so bloody hard.
Anyway sorry donāt want to put a dampener on your 2ww hoping to god you have more luck than me. šš¤š¼šš»
Yes I remember your 2ww...you had all symptoms consistent with pregnancy...I really thought you were going to get your BFP. It was so disappointing to hear your result, my heart ached for you.
Iām not too far from donor eggs myself...but not prepared to give up just yet. You donāt need to accept anything you donāt want to, if you want 2 kids, you will have 2 kids, itās just a means of how. Itās good to keep your options open but only you will know when youāre ready to go down that path.
Yes I transferred both. And my wee embryos looked the same as my last double transfer but Iām not terribly confident as I know there is still lots of time for things to go awry over the 2ww (otherwise both would have made it last time) and things are more likely to go awry now as I am significantly older in terms of my fertility. I still wish I had done a bit more this time so I could feel better about this period of absolute purgatory but itās too late now and I need to invest my energy in this cycle.
Hope youāre feeling a bit better about things and hopefully getting some answers so you can figure out your next move. No reason we both canāt win the lottery twice!
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