Second child ivf.....nerves

[Devj]

Hi all,

Just about to start natural frozen cycle (second one, after a successful one 3 years ago). Had scratch 2 weeks ago, scan booked this week and transfer hopefully end of next week.

We had a failed fresh cycle and then left it 5 months and had our successful frozen cycle using two blasto’s and one took back in 2015. It’s been amazing seeing our little one grow and he is our absolute world.

I feel like I am pinning too much hope on having a sibling for our little one. I am so grateful for him, he is our complete world and I thank my lucky stars every day it worked for us and totally understand that some people can’t have any and I feel for them so so much and I am so so lucky.

However I feel like if it doesn’t work I won’t know where to turn. We only have two frosties so having them both put back in at once. Financially we can never afford the full cycle again.

I guess the nerves are kicking in plus last time I was WAY fitter (gym goer 3-4 times a week), all I do is walk now, I was healthier, I took some time off work after transfer for some me time and relaxation (albeit not necessary but fresh cycle I went straight back to work so took time off after frozen), this time I won’t get time off or time to relax. I am probably way over thinking things I know but this is going through my head ALL the time!

Sorry rambling post! Guess I just needed to get it out.

Good luck to everybody on here on your journeys. I love reading all your posts 🙂 xxxxx

[Lou7744]

Wishing you lots of luck 💕 xx

[Devj in reply to Lou7744]

Thank you 😘 xx

[Dreams1982]

I completely get where you are coming from we are in a similar situation. We tried a frozen cycle last Yr for a sibling but it lead to m/c. We are hoping to try again with our remaining 2 frozen embie but if this doesn't work then we couldn't afford a fresh cycle. It's hard when people say you should be grateful for the baby we have and we really are more grateful than words could ever express for our precious baby xx

[Devj in reply to Dreams1982]

Thank you for your reply. It’s nice to hear from other people in the same situation and who have the same feelings as me. Sorry to hear your last cycle ended the way it did. Wishing you success with your next cycle 😘 xxxx

[Lynnr54]

Fingers crossed everything works for you. I know the desire to have a sibling for your little one. I was the same. And it’s frustrating when people say be grateful for the one you have. Like you say, I knew how lucky I was to have my first but it doesn’t ease the need for a second any at all. I’ve been fortunate - my last frostie worked and I’m 12 weeks pregnant with no 2. Agree that you won’t get to relax after this transfer - I had 3 transfers after my little one was born and after each one I found he decided to choose the 2ww to play up and turn into an absolute monster 😂. But it does help keep your mind off the 2ww. Good luck!

[Devj]

Aaaw how lovely, congratulations that’s fantastic news! Good luck with your pregnancy. It’s nice to hear people have the same feelings as me when it comes to wanting and feeling the need for a second. I almost feel guilty for feeling it knowing there are so many people longing for one. Do you mind me asking; did you have one or two embies transferred? Was it your first frozen transfer since having your little one? 🙂 xxxx

[Dreams1982]

Sending you lots of luck and baby dust xx

[Devj in reply to Dreams1982]

Thank you 😘 xxx

[Kat9lives]

Best of luck!

I'm about to start a FET soon for a sibling for our little girl (who we had IVF for) so can understand your feelings. Like you, I do feel unbelievably grateful that we have our little miracle though. We have 3 frozen embies but are going for a FET cycle using 1 embie at a time. Can I ask, is there a reason why you're having 2 put in at once instead of one at a time? Asking for my own peace of mind!

Thanks

Kat x

[Devj in reply to Kat9lives]

Hi Kat,

Aaw that’s lovely that you are starting again for a sibling. Best of luck!

No problem for asking. I had one put back in for my first failed fresh cycle. For my frozen the embryologist just said we’ll try and put two back in so I just thought he knows best and one took (my little boy). We have two left and our consultant said he advises we put them both back in together so going on his advice. I am guessing given my past cycles there is a higher chance of it working with two?

Also financially we couldn’t afford two frozen cycles really. Well we could but it would mean waiting and we don’t want a huge age gap.

Hope this helps?

Do you mind me asking, are you having an endo scratch? 🙂 xxxx

[Kat9lives in reply to Devj]

Thanks! No I'm not having one... Should I be? Are they supposed to help the embies "stick"? Xx

[Devj in reply to Kat9lives]

I was told a scratch helped, well some/certain people anyway. Although I believe there is an article going around recently saying there was no proof scratches helped. I didn’t have one previously as wasn’t offered it on the NHS but I’ve opted to have it with this private cycle. For the sake of £100 more we thought we’ve got nothing to loose!

A friend of a friend had many many failed ivf cycles, miscarriages etc opted to have the scratch when it became a available and had her first successful pregnancy and soon after did another cycle having a scratch for the second time and had another successful pregnancy. So it was obviously the only thing that worked for her.

I am just intrigued at the mo as to how many people who are starting similarly to me are having the scratch.

So nervous, this time next week I’ll be 3/4 days away from transfer......feel so scared!

xxxx

[Kat9lives in reply to Devj]

AHH ok. I'm not sure my clinic do it. I remember looking into it for the first 2 cycles I've already had but then got a BFP on my 2nd go so didn't look any further. Just going with what's suggested through our clinic.

You'll be absolutely fine, have you got any plans for keeping calm leading up to it? E.g. taking time off work or some pampering? xx

[Devj in reply to Kat9lives]

Leading up to it no but planned some time off work after transfer but will still have my little one to run after and take to activities etc so my mind will be off it but I will also be thinking last succcessful cycle I literally just chilled and relaxed at home with the odd walk here and there to get fresh air so it it will be totally different.

Is your transfer soon? xxx

[andylins]

Sailing in the same boat with you, honey..This seems an endless game for me..

Our baby#1, a cute boy was born almost 2 yrs ago through de ivf shot#2. Soon we thought we wanted more. (Previously thought if lucky we'd stop at 1 only, but were mistaken.) We knew we wanted a sibling for our boy, so had to go the same route hopefully ONCE more. Still can't believe we have to pass it all again..

[Devj]

Aaw, hope all goes well for you. Congrats on your successful cycle 2 years ago! My boy is 2 and it only seems like yesterday we were going through it last time but for some reason feel more nervous this time. We were the same as you saying one will be enough its been a long journey but having two frosties left and seeing our little one play so well with others its made us realise we have to try for him as much as for us.

All the best 😘 xxx