It’s over 😓

[hoping-for-the-best]

Tests finally faded to negative, starting to cramp. This is the most stressed I’ve been on a cycle with all the spotting and now I’m wondering if that’s what could have caused the early loss. Not sure whether it’s a good sign my body is gearing up to be pregnant or if it’s just going to keep happening due to underlying issues. Feeling so negative about future treatment - we were there, we thought we’d achieved our dream and then it was snatched away. I’m so devastated.

[Hidden]

I'm sorry to read this. Please don't blame yourself, the outcome is largely out of our hands. Take time to grieve before deciding on next steps. Take care xx

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Hidden]

Thank you xxx

[Hidden]

So sorry. Take care x

[Hidden]

Oh lovely I’m so sorry. It is so cruel. I had a chemical pregnancy last year and when it’s so wanted it’s so heartbreaking 💔💔💔 It will get better with time, you never will forget, but it will feel less raw xoxo take as much time as you need before making any decisions xoxo

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Jess and sorry to hear about your loss too. It doesn’t matter how early it was, it still hurts especially when you’ve gone through so much to get there. It definitely is still raw so hopefully won’t feel like this forever xxx

[Hidden in reply to hoping-for-the-best]

Thank you. I know , loss is a loss doesn’t make it less painful because it was early. Some days will be harder than others but you will pull through this 💗 And remember just because this one didn’t work out doesn’t mean another one wouldn’t xoxo

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. This forum is such a source of comfort and strength, nobody understands this journey like fellow IVF’ers or those requiring fertility treatment. I truly hope you achieve your dream too. One day this will all be behind us xxxx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

My understanding is that a miscarriage at this stage is most likely due to the embryo not being normal. I was told that most losses before 8 weeks will be chromosome problems. Every single one of us is at risk of having an embryo with chromosome problems as it’s a random thing and it becomes more likely as our eggs get older, hence miscarriage rates being higher in older women. However, statistically, you are unlikely to have another miscarriage and it is just CHANCE. Nothing to do with you or your body, and there’s no evidence it’s your stress levels either. Women in war zones don’t all miscarry and they must be under the most intense stress ever. If I were you, I would definitely take it as a good sign that you got pregnant and so hopefully you will again.

Much as I wish you weren’t going through this, as you are I hope your miscarriage is quick and relatively pain free.

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Thank you Lizzie 🙏💕 I think once I’ve come to terms with this I may see it as a positive that my body was doing the right things, it just wasn’t meant to be. I know there’s a higher likelihood of abnormalities at an older age but just felt so confident as it was a top quality embryo. Guess there’s a lot they can’t see though. As our embryos always get to day 3 before dying off I’m going to look into sperm DNA fragmentation but not sure there are many options to get round that. Lots of decisions ahead. Good luck in your journey too, I know you haven’t had it easy yourself. Wishing you every success xxxx

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to hoping-for-the-best]

It’s true, there’s so much that they can’t see. As you may know, we had four good blasts this time, and biopsy showed that two were completely abnormal and would definitely have led to more miscarriages for me. You just can’t see that though a microscope.

I really believe you have a very very good chance of having another child xxx

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Ps get hubbie to take supplements for sperm fragmentation, for three months before the next try. My clinic suggest condensyl or menevit.

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Thank you Lizzie, that means so much 🙏 I’d get PGS done if we had enough blasts but both times we’ve only ended up with two unfortunately. Will have to see how FET goes then maybe it’s something to consider as I don’t know how many losses I can take. Xxx

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to hoping-for-the-best]

Just to be clear, I don’t advocate PGS particularly, as the evidence doesn’t suggest you’re any more likely to end up with a live birth. We had PGD for a specific condition which my husband carries, which is slightly different. I just don’t want to be advocating something that I have not done xx

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Ok thanks for clarifying. I actually didn’t know the difference between the two which shows my ignorance! Just read up on it and you’re right re birth rates, plus it sounds like the majority of abnormal ones would arrest anyway. It’s just those that progress that bit further that cause all the heartache 😔

Wishing you every success with your upcoming transfer 🤞xxx

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to hoping-for-the-best]

P.S. have ordered the Condensyl for hubbie, just hope he takes them! Thanks for the tip xxx

[emu2016]

Don’t go blaming yourself. There’s absolutely nothing you could have done. Sending lots of love x

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to emu2016]

Thank you xxx

[Poppy16]

I'm very sorry to hear this. It's not your fault. Unfortunately a loss is beyond our control. We can't prevent it. This is not the end though. Please grieve, take time to recover, be kind to yourself amidst all the suffering and disappointment. You will get through this. Don't give up. Some day this will be behind you. Your body can get pregnant which is positive and will do again. Big hugs.xo

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Poppy16]

Thank you, I needed to hear that 🙏😘 xxx

[Lou7744]

I’m sorry to read this. I’ve been through a miscarriage myself and can relate to how your feeling, it’s truly rubbish and devastating. Like the other ladies have said, take each day as it comes for now as it’s still very fresh.

Sending you big hugs 💕 xx

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Lou7744]

Thank you, yes it’s devastating. I can’t imagine being further along but it’s still crushing at this early stage. I’m sorry to hear about your loss too. Hoping each day will get better xxx

[Tugsgirl]

It’s horrible it truly is. Please take care xx

[DimG]

It is so unfortunate! I have been through this and it terrible. Take care xx

[Hope85]

Sending lots of love 💕

[Waitingforourmiracle]

Sending you so much love - my first ended in a mmc and am now having scares with this one.

The top guy at my clinic told me that someone who got pregnant from their first ivf cycle but went on to miscarry had a higher chance of going on to have a baby than someone who didn't get pregnant from their first round - so I'm holding onto that advice xx