Hi is there anyone that works in a school that has had IVF looking for advice with how you fitted in appointments /treatment around work?

[Wedding17]

Any advice appreciated

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Wedding17. Best to enquire whether your clinic do evening appointments and/or weekend. Often they can accommodate awkward hours. Good luck. Diane

[Wedding17 in reply to DianeArnold]

Clinic said most appointments need to be mornings and timings depend on availability.

[Aleelilook]

I’m a teacher and I used to get the last appointment of the day and leave school lunchtime/period 5, and tried to do it on days I had frees in the afternoon, or cover in house as it were, I was really honest with HR and my head and they were really supportive. With EC and ET I took 2 days off, again because they were supportive it wasn’t a problem, but legally once you have ET you’re covered by employment law the same as if you were pregnant.

I also delegated a lot!!! Clubs, revision sessions etc. I gave to my trainee and other members of my team so I could sneak pretty sharpish after school if j was feeling a bit rubbish. All in all it’s doable, I’d just make them aware if they’re a nice bunch of people x

[Dunla]

Hi, I told the VP and Principal at my last school about having treatment and they were very supportive and accommodating. I live an hour and a half away from my clinic, so often I’d have to take a whole day off for scans and appointments. I did try to have ivf during summer holidays a couple of times but it’s not always possible to wait or make that work xx

[llc1987]

i was upfront about the whole process with the head and she was really supportive. I guess that's not going to be the same for everyone though. I asked for early appointments so i could go in to school after them, then for the egg collection it was the school holidays. School knowing made early pregnancy easier as they understood why i wasn't well and needed time off for a few scares.x

[sarahhall7112]

I’m the same, I’m a primary school teacher. It so difficult because u feel like u can’t be awkward with the hospital asking for specific times. I feel like I’m being ungrateful because I know we’re lucky to get this far. My head has been ok but don’t think she realises the time I’ll need off for egg collection and transfer. I want to give us the best possible chance so ideally want a couple of days off to chill after transfer. But then I know I’ll go back to a bomb site classroom and a million books to mark, which will stress me out :/

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

My school has fertility treatment specified in our absence policy. We are entitled to five days paid leave which can be taken as part or full days. Further days are at the head teacher’s discretion. Where possible I’ve taken appointments as early or late as possible so I only have to miss a small amount of time even though my clinics are quite far away. I’ve also had Saturday and Skype consultations a couple of times. Obviously I’ve had to take full days for egg collection due to the sedation- my clinic were adamant that I must not go in to work even the day after egg collection due to possible after effects of sedation.

I’ve been completely open with my work- everyone in my team and all the senior leaders know exactly what is happening and I’ve had nothing but support. I’m not a terribly private person anyway and I took a demotion to go part time so people wanted to know why. I recommend honest with your bosses at least as they can then know what they’re dealing with!

Good luck x

[Wedding17 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Thanks il ring HR to ask about the policy to see if ours is the same. I only work part time three days. I don’t know how they will be as this is not my first child but will be my husbands first. I conceived my child naturally which why I’m worried they won’t be supportive.

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Wedding17]

I also work three days per week and that also helped me not to have to take so much time off. Our policy is still five days per year even though I am part time- I feel very lucky that it is not pro-rata.

I don’t think it makes any difference that it’s not your first child, I think most people would understand that secondary infertility (no matter what the cause) is still a difficult situation to be in. I would be surprised if your boss didn’t understand, after all we work with children!

Hope your HR department can clarify x

[Wedding17 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Thank you so much I just worry about having time off I feel guilty and I’m quite a private person and worry too much about what others think.

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Wedding17]

Well then don't tell other colleagues - just say it's a gynaecological issue or something, most people would not ask more about that! I would definitely recommend being honest with your boss though, not least because once you have embryo transfer you are classed as 'pregnant' so any absence related to this is pregnancy related absence, and as such should not be used on your absence record.

You don't need to feel guilty, it's a valid reason for time off. Infertility is classed as a disease by the world health organisation and, even though the specific issue is with your husband, it is you that needs treatment and you have every right to take the time off to have that treatment. If you do your best to schedule appointments for outside class time, then you are doing everything you can. It will make your life quite busy for a few weeks but it will hopefully be worth it! In general, the principle in schools is to schedule appointments outside of school hours WHEREVER POSSIBLE. It won't be possible in this case so you are entitled to the time off.

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

PS my previous head teacher used to say to me "they won't write on your gravestone that you worked really hard but they will write about you being a mum" - she used to say it to help me to understand that the time off I needed was justified and that life is about more than work.

[Wedding17 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Thank you for your advice and that saying is so true.

[Em2405]

Our county council has IVF specified in the absence policy and are very mindful of women going through IVF. We have been ttc for 2 and a half years and went to our second treatment planning appointment last week. After this I had a discussion with my head who was very understanding and told me to put this first as work will always be there. Where possible I have afternoon appointments but I know I will have to have morning scans and am thinking of taking the 2ww off so I can give this round the best chance of success. Our council have been really good, they are not counting IVF against anyone in the absence policy so no formal action will be taken against time off due to IVF or pregnancy. Speak to HR. They will talk to you about the policies in place. I haven’t told any other colleagues although this will be really hard as I’m a Primary teacher and have 2 fantastic LSO’s who will notice my time off. Not sure what I will tell them. Is this your first IVF? Good luck, baby dust to you x

[Wedding17 in reply to Em2405]

Thanks il phone HR and ask for a copy of our absence policy. I have a child that was conceived naturally with ex hubby. This will be my husbands first child if it works and been told our only chance is ICSI.

[janeyg79]

I was up front with head. She supported me fully. We had 5 HR round trips for every appt so this involved me missing full days. Things worked out. On our third ivf attempt. You soon begin to realise that school isn't the be all and end all and that you have to put yourself first. I'm on maternity now for a year and have not even thought about my department imj ust enjoying the time I have good luck

[Wedding17 in reply to janeyg79]

Thank you it’s the unknown I think and I need to think more like you and stop feeling guilty about work.

[janeyg79 in reply to Wedding17]

I know that feeling totally. I felt guilty for the first set of appointments but then we decided to treat each day off as a day out and a day of time for getting ready for the process. We treated ourselves to lunch or coffees out on the journeys to make things more relaxed. It's a long process and you need to be feeling at your best. School really Will be there when you get back. All the best x

[jade1003]

I spoke to work and agreed to try my best to make them earliest time or the latest time they have available to try and fit around the school day. The appointments you can book or arrange should be ok but the last minute ones work should understand you have no control over them, Im in the same boat and tried my best with work although you need to do what is best for you, dont stress about work, good luck xx

[Wedding17 in reply to jade1003]

Thank you Good luck to you.