IVF First Cycle - BFN: Today was my OTD... - Fertility Network UK

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IVF First Cycle - BFN

Sarah_a_2018 profile image
15 Replies

Today was my OTD and it's a BFN, am devastated. I knew that this was coming so am relieved that it's over, this last week especially has been most difficult with the bleeding and cramping, the not knowing and clinging on to a glimmer of hope that this had still worked, I even had a dream last night that in spite of everything that's happened this last week, I still got a positive result 😭😭😭

Just need to wait until the clinic opens so I can let them know, have o idea what will happen now, all I do know is that it will take a while for me to recover from this physically and emotionally, I'm completely drained.

For everyone else going through treatment and the 2WW I wish you all the best of luck and hope it works out for you xxx

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Sarah_a_2018 profile image
Sarah_a_2018
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15 Replies

I’m sorry to hear about your BFN. I know how you feel, I’ve had two and both times I have bled before my OTD.

Sarah_a_2018 profile image
Sarah_a_2018 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie

Thank you, sorry for your losses as well, there’s just no easy way to take a negative outcome, I hope you get your BFP xxx

Dunla profile image
Dunla

Sarah I’m so very sorry to hear this. You’re right that it will take time to recover from this physically and emotionally, be gentle with yourself. Focus on you and your OH for now and when you’re ready you can think about what happens next. Sending you lots of love at this difficult time 😘 xx

Sarah_a_2018 profile image
Sarah_a_2018 in reply to Dunla

Thanks Dunla I feel absolutely broken, can’t bear to talk to anyone right now, have the next couple of days off work which is what I need right now, spending the day with my husband and he’s taking me shopping so something to take my mind off and can enjoy buying new clothes xxx

Dunla profile image
Dunla in reply to Sarah_a_2018

Aw Sarah I’m sorry, i know you feel broken. My heart goes out to you. I totally relate to not wanting to speak to anyone and you’ll need the few days off to grieve and rest. I think you’re right to head out shopping today as a distraction. We did this after 4th BFN and it did help. I still have a little bit of the perfume left that my husband bought for me that day. Treat yourselves to a nice lunch and have a day for you two. Sending you love and hugs, take good care of yourselves, Dxx

So sorry. It’s so hard. Take all the time you need, it’s important. Take care x

Tezzabell86 profile image
Tezzabell86

I’m so sorry to hear this Sarah. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. The treatment alone is physically and emotionally draining. It will take time and take care of yourself xx

Leo2017 profile image
Leo2017

So sorry to read this!! BFN’s after everything we go through really are so cruel!! 😢 look after yourself!! xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs

So sorry u didnt get a positive result, so devastating! Thinking of u x

Sarah_a_2018 profile image
Sarah_a_2018

Thanks everyone, been a rough day but spending it with my husband, took me shopping and couldn’t find anything so I’m getting let loose with the credit card tomorrow 🤑 jist having lunch, then back home to pyjamas, Netflix and I’m allowing myself some chocolate, got a whole bag of kinder mini eggs all to myself and then have filled my two days off with some much needed self care activities and I have two people to speak to that may assist with us being able to conceive naturally.

Thanks for everyone’s support throughout the last 2 weeks, it’s really helped, I spent so long preparing myself for the treatment I had no idea what the 2WW would entail and it’s been a bigger struggle than the treatment but finding this forum made a big difference and I would have struggled a lot worse without having all of you lovely people to chat to and who understand what I’m going through xxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Sarah_a_2018

All your selfcare ideas sound great. I hope they help u to feel a little better! Well done for being so proactive in such a distressing time x

BBlucky profile image
BBlucky

I sad to read this and the lovely advise given above was heartwarming. Im half way in the 2ww. Im brought loads of comedy films but noone knows how you will deal with bad news at this junction. Its not the end and all of you lovely people deserve to suceed. X

-noodles- profile image
-noodles-

i am sorry for your loss sarah. this is such difficult journey.

i also had a dream i got a positive test the night before my last failed round - as if it’s not hard enough, our minds starts playing cruel tricks on us. so shit.

sounds like you’ve had a nice chilled day today - be kind to yourself over the next few days & take good care of each other.

sending love & light ✨💕✨

lauren3189 profile image
lauren3189

Aww. Sorry to hear this xx

I'm so sorry to hear this, gutted for you. This journey is so difficult and cruel at times. Take as much time as you need to grieve - don't have to make any hard or fast decisions right now. It's ok to feel upset. Thinking of you 💓 xoxo

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