It’s time to ask questions.

[Rfletcher]

My husband and I were trying for a baby when he was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma (cancer). Due to the aggressive form he has, the treatment has made him infertile. We have been told that IVF is our only option now but we know so little about it. We are hopping to start treatment soon. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you.

[Hidden]

No advice on the process itself I'm afraid, but I got Zita West's IVF Diet Book for Christmas. I know a number of other women on here have read it too. It has got loads of useful advice to prepare yourself for IVF even months before so worth getting now. Good luck xx

[Rfletcher in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, that could be very useful. It is manly how I get my body ready. I want to be as ready as I can be. I will have a look for that book, thank you. X

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi. Does that mean your husband isn’t making any sperm at all? If not, do you need IVF or could you try donor insemination? Hope all is soon sorted for you both and you can soon go ahead with whatever treatment is advised for you. Thinking of you both. Diane

[Rfletcher in reply to DianeArnold]

My husband was able to store before treatment started which was fantastic. His side of stuff is all done, it’s the process I will have to go through now and manly getting my body ready for it. Thank you.

[Rfletcher in reply to DianeArnold]

My husband was able to store before treatment started which was fantastic. His side of stuff is all done, it’s the process I will have to go through now and manly getting my body ready for it. Thank you.

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to Rfletcher]

Oh that’s so good to hear. Obviously I wish you both success when you go ahead. Take care. Diane

[Dunla]

Sending you and your husband very best wishes.

Most of the fertility clinics have excellent resources on their websites which outline clearly what IVF /ICSI involve. Perhaps you could have a look on the websites of those clinics closest to where you live.

Xx

[Rfletcher in reply to Dunla]

I have had a look but it is all written so clinically. I know the basic info and steps but it was more the personal side of things that never goes on those site. I just wanted to read other peoples experiences and know that it would be ok.

Iv only read things from people struggling to conceive and not from a side that involves cancer. I guess we had the ability to have children and then it was taken away.

Im sorry, im still quite angry with cancer. Iv found it hard to come to terms with and especially with t all happening in our first year of marriage.

Moaning over now, sorry. Xxx

[Dunla in reply to Rfletcher]

Oh my goodness, you are not moaning. You have had an incredibly difficult time. So hard in your first year of marriage, I can’t imagine how difficult it has been for you both and now the aftermath you are left with in terms of fertility issues.

I’m sure there will be another couple on this forum who are in a similar situation to yourself and will be able to share their experiences with you xx

[Beebeestar]

Hi, welcome! I’m sorry to hear about your story so far, you’ve both been through a lot. The clinic will take you through the process, it’s really not that complicated and each step and process is explained.

My clinic did a information evening which was useful where they explained what they do. I also self educated by reading and researching, although you hear about ivf you never really know what is involved until you go through it.

Even if you just go with the motions rest assured that you will be taken through the process with a team of experts and it’s amazing how much you will learn as you go along.

I wish you the best of luck in the start of your journey and this forum is great to ask any questions and there’s so many experiences that you will always have a support network.

🤗

[Claire2001]

Hi, we are in a similar position, we are both 30, got married and then found out my husband had cancer pretty much the week we started trying for a baby. We froze some sperm and tried 3 rounds of IUI, managrd to get pregnant on the 3rd but miscarried at 4 weeks. we are now part way through our first IVF cycle. They put me on the long protocol. To prepare I've been taking pregnancy vitamins, cut caffeine and alcohol and stated having acupuncture to try and de-stress (not easy through all this cancer rubbish). I know what you mean about being angry; I felt like we were trying to be responsible buying a house/saving/getting married before having children then my husband got Ill. It feels so unfair and I often worry about whether its right to have a baby when life is still so uncertain. when they suggested IVF after the miscarriage I cried all day, I felt it was so severe to be starting it already and I was overwhelmed, i wanted to keep doing IUI but as we only had 9 frozen sticks of sperm left they didnt want to risk losing anymore. Once I got my head round it I started to feel better. I have just started menopur now so about half way through. So far I felt awful the first 3 days of injections-nausea, migraines and hot but after that i have been fine except occasional waves of nausea. need lots of water to avoid the bad heads! Fingers crossed it continues. I am absolutely terrified of egg collection- I've never been knocked out before, so trying to forget about that part. Wish you both the best of luck, use this group for support they are amazing and reading their stories made me feel brave enough to try xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Claire2001]

Sedation for egg collection is fine, it is honestly like having a nice sleep and you don’t remember anything but it is not like being knocked out with a general anaesthetic, you recover much quicker xx

[Claire2001 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Thank you xx

[Rfletcher in reply to Claire2001]

Thank you so much for your message. I’m sorry to hear you are in the same boat as we are, it sucks. I don’t think we will get the option of IUI as we only have 6 frozen tubes to start with.

How long does the process of the ‘long protocol take? I have cut out caffeine and alcohol and I’m trying to get fit. I’m not massively over weight I’m just a lazy bugger 😜

The side affects do worry me as I won’t be able to take any time off, I work in a school and I have had so much time off through my husbands treatment and they have been amazing about it. I don’t think I could push any more time though.

Has your husband had the all clear yet? I hope you have every success with the IVF and his treatment.

Xxxx

[Claire2001 in reply to Rfletcher]

It takes about 6 weeks. I've had burserlin injections since the 6th Dec; that calms your hormones down and yesterday I've started Menopur injections as well; this starts your follicles growing. Luckily we shut down at work from chrostmas eve until the 8th Jan. All being well they will do egg collection on the 12th Jan and transfer back embryos around the 16th Jan.

Yeah I was really worried too, luckily me being sick was over a weekend so managed to only take 1 day off. Bar that I haven't needed it. I choose to tell my boss as i felt the same about the time off. They have been amazing and said i can take paid leave but I still feel like I need to take as few days as possiblem.

The clinic have recommended I have at least 2 days off after egg collection so I'm going to use some holidays. Not yet, he still has to have some more chemo fingers crossed we are all done with it early in the new year xxx

[Rfletcher in reply to Claire2001]

Wow I really thought it took months. Oh I have everything crossed for you.

We are the same my husband has now had 3 different types of chemo which his cancer didn’t respond to so in October he went in and had a bone marrow transplant. However we were told when he was having chemo that they wouldn’t start the IVF process with us until he had the all clear and had been clear for a year. We have put our foot down but they have only brought it forward to 6 months after being clear. This is what is hurting so much. We have the sperm sitting there and I am fit and well, we just want to get started. So it’s really interesting to hear you are starting before the all clear. I think I might fight a bit harder now.

Does he have many cycles left? Hope he is coping ok with the treatment but also how are you? With out meaning to, people forget about the caregiver, the one who has to live with it day in, day out and still has to go to work and face the world.

Much love to you. Xxx

[Claire2001 in reply to Rfletcher]

Well when we started he had finished chemo and had a clear scan, they wrote to his doctor etc who said they would support us going for ivf. But he has recently had a reoccurrence and had to restart chemo; since no one at the clinic has asked we actually haven't told them.

I'm OK, we have a good support network so very luckily. I just feel angry that we have to to through all of this and a bit worried about the future. I try and take every day one day at a time.

Good luck with everything xx

[Rfletcher in reply to Claire2001]

Oh bless you, I know how that feels as well. Cancer is a bastard.

Do you mind me asking what kind he has?

I guess we will have to wait then, but as he is unresponsive to all chemos now it will all be on this bone marrow transplant or any further trial treatment.

I’m sorry to anyone reading this, we have strayed off subject. But I promise you it all fits under the same umbrella for us unfortunately.

Xxxxx

[Claire2001 in reply to Rfletcher]

No its fine, he has/ had a brain tumour xx

[Rfletcher in reply to Claire2001]

Oh I’m sorry to hear that. My husband has his diagnosis after 3 years of ill health and then 3 months later one of my close friends at work, her husband was diagnosed with a Brian tumour. We are a little island at work and support each other. Unfortunately her husbands is incurable witch is awful.

Knowing what I do I wish you both all the luck in the world. Xxxxxxxxxxc

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Rfletcher]

I also work in a school and do long protocol. You’ll have to have time off for egg collection unless you’re lucky and it falls in the holidays (which mine did once). You can talk to them about this as it’s possible to keep you down-regging slightly longer if need be, to make it more likely to fall in the holidays, though they can never guarantee any of the timings. But my school have been super supportive and we have a policy of up to five days paid leave for fertility treatment each year with additional time off at the discretion of the head teacher.

The reason you have to have time off after EC is because the drugs mean you aren’t responsible for your actions, my clinic are quite strict about needing 48hours off, which is understandable given that I have to be responsible for kids! They also say I can’t drive for 48 hours after the procedure so I would struggle to go to work.

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Ps I’m on my third round and have never needed time off for side effects, but the drugs do make me tired!

[Rfletcher in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Thank you, I know my work would be amazing. They have supported me so well through everything. Xxxx

[jesssiep]

Hello. May I ask where are you getting your IVF treatment? me and my better half were likewise alluded to IVF by my GP since we have been TTC for very nearly 2 years yet still no fortunes in getting pregnant. My first cycle would begin soon in February. Keep me updated about your IVF treatment. Good luck xx