I know everyone says ‘it gets easier’ but I feel like it’s getting harder. I’ve felt so angry this weekend that we (like all of you) have been dealt this crap hand and are being made to suffer again.
I met a lady who doesn’t have fertility issues through my insta, she had a D&C 3 months ago and just messaged me to say she’s pregnant again, I’m so pleased for her but it just brings home the reality that not only does miscarriage take our babies it puts us right back to the beginning of our ttc journey again 💔
I keep thinking I’m beginning to cope and then bam something kicks me right back down. I’m desperately trying to get into the Christmas spirit but all I can think is instead of holding my baby in my arms or my womb il be visiting her grave.
I’ve tried talking to my friends but they just don’t get it, they say I have to do what’s right for me. Well that would be staying at home on the sofa with my dogs which I know isn’t healthy either, how much should we push ourselves even when we’re out of our comfort zone, I wish I knew 😢
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So sorry you're feeling so low. It does indeed get harder....the initial shock of the misscarrage goes but the pain doesn't lift. How can it when time is ticking by and we're still hollow. Please don't put any pressure on yourself. You don't have to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Sending you lots of hugs xxxx
Thank you, your right they haven’t I think that’s the other hard part we can’t just conceive the next month or when we decide it’s right like people think xx
Hello lovely, please don’t give up!!! You are one of the strongest ladies I’ve spoken to!! You give me hope and support in my darkest times!! You are doing the best you can remember that! If you really don’t want to do something then don’t do it, life’s to short to be unhappy to put a brave face on to make others happy!!! Think of you!!! I think you’re amazing!!! Xx
Thank you so much, you brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes I feel like my best just isn’t good enough but guess il get there. I hope your doing okay xx
Bless you, it is really hard. No easy words to say. I have felt so hurt when 5 colleagues at work pregnant with second or third babies and we are going through such a marathon hoping for one.
But.. I do believe sunshine comes after rain, that we can travel through these difficult times and any baby we have naturally or adopt will be so appreciated. I wonder sometimes if others take their preg or baby for granted and perhaps miss out! If/when we finally get there I reckon we will certainly appreciate every little thing.
This is a bad day for you. Big hugs and I hope this feeling eases up a bit soon xx
Thank you, we definitely will appreciate our little miracles. I’m sorry you’ve been in that position with your work colleagues, some people don’t realise just how lucky they are xx
Come off social media for a bit and think of you and hubby and try to look forward to the new year if you can. I know it's hard I am just coming to terms with the fact I can't try till next year due to tests. I haven't been intimate with my hubby for over two month and my endo doesn't help I miss him. It's hard but us, strong ladies will get through this and if these announcements get to you then hun come off the social media. This is the only social thing I'm on and it's enough for me. I push myself to do something once a, week sounds silly but I hate the cold really hate it. I went to the shop today major big thing for me I didn't order a taxi like i would normally I walked. That is so out my comfort zone last time I went out was last week for medical management. Sounds bad but it's true. I'm lucky I have a, supporting hubbys side of family for my daughter they come and take her for a bit.
I'm just saying do something out your comfort zone every so often but don't leave it too long once a, week for me for now then hubby will start pushing me. Have you looked At that book hun it's a very good one gives you a bit of drive and helps you get in that mind frame. Thinking of you lots of love 💗💗🤗😘😘
Thank you so much, I’ve ordered the book am looking forward to read it. I’m glad you were able to do something you wouldn’t normally, I guess that’s the thing maybe I need to focus on the small positives rather than looking for massive ones. My husbands family aren’t very supporting and now with his FIL diagnosis I feel like we’re having to jump when they need us which is draining. Hope your doing okay as can be xx
Small positives remember it's the small things that count. Them small ones will lead us to a big positive. We get knocked down but we always get back up that's how, we, gain strength. Your a strong lady and family's are draining but you'll always feel better in the end knowing you've been there for those that didn't help you. Makes you a better person don't feel it now but you'll look back and, realise just how amazing you are supporting others when your going through such a, hard time. Trust me I know iv been there with my own, family glad you've ordered the book let me know how you get on with it. Lots of love. 💗💗🤗😘😘
I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. Just do what you feel like when you feel like it and don't feel guilty thinking that you have to do anything. This time is all about you and your well being and you can take advice or not but ultimately you will find a way to cope. It's incredibly difficult with Christmas coming up (our little one was due 15th Dec). Keep talking to people on here. I find it huge comfort xx
Thank you, I’m so sorry for you losses to and I hope the lead up to the 15th is kind to you. I already feel more able to process how I’m feeling by speaking to you all, it’s amazing how much it helps having people who ‘get it’ xx
You’re grieving and grief doesn’t have a set timeline. It really hasn’t been very long since you had that awful miscarriage and, although eventually you’ll learn to live with it, it will change you as a person. I think grief is more like waves rather than something that simply gets easier with time: sometimes it’s easier and sometimes it’s harder. Eventually the times when it is hard get further apart and you have more good times in between. But when you’re still ttc you’re not in a position to really “heal”. It’s very unfair. I’ve had two miscarriages and have been told I only have a one in six chance of our embryos being normal. It’s really rubbish odds. But I feel ok most of the time. When I have bad days, I remind myself that some days are worse than others and there will be days when I feel ok again. I have counseling and acupuncture, both of which help. For me, being around friends and family helps me to feel better, so getting out and about helps me, but I’m sure it’s different for everyone.
Thank you, I do find it helps being around family and some friends just the ones who get it. I might go back to Acupunture to see if that helps with my anxiety even while I’m not in treatment. I’m sorry your having to deal with so much, this journey seems to just chuck more and more at us.
I think acupuncture can help with all sorts of things not just the direct treatment. I had a “toxin drain” after my first miscarriage which was amazingly good.
Don't give up, hun. As Winston Churchill once said, 'when you're going through hell, keep going'. You'll reach the other side eventually, and regardless of whether you manage to have a baby, you'll still have a wonderful life. Keep fighting.
Sorry to read that you are feeling like this. I think it comes in waves - ok days and not so great days. After the initial shock of coming to terms with what’s happened, I’ve managed to keep myself going by trying to focus on all the good stuff that I have in my life and doing stuff that I have some control over. Take care of yourself 💕 xx
So sorry your feeling this way, but please remember that it’s so normal. As other girls have said there is no time limit on grief, we’re all different and we all cope in different ways.
Your so strong, don’t forget that! You just need to do whatever you feel is right for you, you know best.
Thank you, I know it’s amazing the support I get from you all in here. I think because last year I didn’t deal with the grief I’m not use to this year it hitting me when I least expect it. Hope your sickness is easing xx
Yeah and it’s such an emotional time of year as it is without everything else your going through.
Just take it a day at a time and if your having a day where you feel like doing nothing then that’s what to do. On days where your feeling a little better push yourself to do something nice, I’m sure you’ll feel all the better for doing it.
Hi I can feel ur pain as I'm currently going through the same boat,it feels like im in a pool and I can not swim as I drown I have faith that this ambryo transferred this week will survive,I had very emotional day today at work crying for no reason I guess I have bottled it all out,I cnt speak to my family and I have no friends,no amount of therapy Iv been thrw has made me forget,today I prayed and I find myself not knowing what to say or ask God,taking it easy doesn't help ether bt Iv learned to leave thrw the emotions if I dnt feel like waking up in morning I dnt,if I feel like crying I do.Im sending my love to u asking u to hang on fighting is the only thing u have.
So sorry your going through the same, I totally relate to that drowning feeling. I said to my husband I feel like a duck to the world I look like I’m happily swimming along but honestly I’m kicking my legs like mad to stay afloat. Remember you’ve got everyone on here to talk to x
Oh no, I’m so sorry that you are going through a tough time.
I think some days it’s easier to just get up and pretend that I am ok and then other days reality just hits me and I realise that I’m actually an emotional wreck.
I read a quote somewhere that said ‘some days it’s easier to smile and say you are ok than explain all the reasons why you aren’t’ and it couldn’t be more accurate on this crappy journey!
Anger is a stage of grief and totally natural that you will feel the way you do. You’ve been through such a lot and it is so frustrating to be back at square one but with a lot of heartache inside too. In time I’m sure you’ll feel better and ready to leave the sofa and your doggies but give yourself some time - it’s all still very raw. Xxxxx
I am about to start my first ICSI next week, and I have already told myself to go with flow as I'm already 41. Doctor told me success rate is 10-12%. Not very high but I think there is NOTHING much I can do but go with flow. I can imagine this can be very hard for you but I think just don't give up on yourself because you can only keep trying and go with the flow. Exercise regularly, eat healthy, have nice sleep and keep yourself in good mood. I tell myself to keep in best health condition and leave the rest to God! That is really the only thing you can do to yourself. Don't give up on yourself because you are already very brave to deal with so much challenges.
Hi lovely, I am so so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It is such a difficult time for you and you have been so incredibly strong. It does get harder I know and the emotional rollercoaster is indescribable. I keep telling myself that 'where a door closes and window will open' in the hope that things will get better with time. I do hope you are able to enjoy Christmas and please feel free to message me anytime if you need a chat. Sending you love and BIG hugs ❤ xxx
You're incredibly strong and brave and don't you forget that. You're support for others is tremendous and I am so very grateful for your kind words which has really helped me xxx
Thinking of you, don’t give up on your dream, the moment you feel like giving up, sometimes a miricle happens 🤞😘🌈
I can totally relate to this. The world is such a tough place to be, and when people are bubbling over with Christmas spirit it can be hard to keep a brave face. Obviously staying at home on the sofa isn't the answer every day - but some days I think it's totally acceptable.
I really wish I had more of an answer for you, but if nothing else please remember that you have given support and encouragement to so many women on this site. Even in the middle of some of your darkest times your words of help and support have made a huge difference to a lot of people. You're doing amazing, constructive things with your heart-break. But on the days it's too much, hide away with your man and the pooches and let yourself be.
Sending lots of love and a hug to you. I hope the fog has started to lift ever so slightly xxx
Hi honey. I know what you're feeling. It's totally understandable. I won't give you any false assurances. I know those are pointless. However, all I can say is that you need to stay strong. Children are an important part of life. However, there are so many other things to be greatful for. Focus on those. Keep holding on for a miracle. Have you consulted a fertility specialist? If yes, then what's the diagnosis? Have you looked into alternate options? For instance adoption. Are you open to that? There are so many orphaned children looking for a loving home. You might change the life of a child, and they in turn might change yours.
Hey there! I feel very sorry for your loss. I know that you are going through a very difficult time. You ought to be strong enough dear. I know it is not easy. But you will have to accept it. Move forward and look for positivity. Only then you will be able to succeed. I also know that people do not understand. Only the person who is in the same difficult phase can understand you. Well, you need to make yourself stay active. Go and join a gym. Go for morning walks. Do regular exercises. Most importantly, improve your diet plan. Look, you still have a lot of opportunities to lead a healthy and active life. Stay healthy and take care.
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Really Really Fed Up Now! 
I just want to scream! 😤
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