Not having much BD ☹️

[Bella_12]

After 4 long years of TTC I’m not going to lie it has taken some toll on my relationship. In the last year or so me and DH haven’t been having as much sex as we use to, I feel like we’re in a bit of a rut and we’re just plodding on with day to day life. We do both want children but when you trying for so long it can be quite a strain. I just hope we can get back on track soon and maybe one day a miracle will happen 🙏🏻

[Hidden]

That’s happened to us....I hate this journey ☹️ Hopefully u find ur feetx

[Bella_12 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, no it isn’t a nice journey at all, and it gets the the point where you are counting the weeks and then thinking this can’t be normal, thing is I’ve tried with him and sometimes he’s just not interested, says he’s too tired from work. But then when he wants it I never say no as I wouldn’t want to then make the situation worse.I’m not going to force it though and I just hope we get back to it soon!x

[E_05]

It definitely is a long and tough journey but we have to keep hope that in the end it’ll all be worth it. Could you plan something nice for you 2 to do or even try and go away for a weekend? It might give you chance to talk and get away from everything fertility xx

[Bella_12 in reply to E_05]

Thanks for your reply. Yes I could plan something, I have planned stuff before ( round my fertile window 😊) gone out for a nice meal with a few drinks but normally there’s been too many drinks or a lot of food and he falls asleep on the sofa! I just feel like we need a compete shift to get us out of this rut!x

[ClarabGlasgow]

It is definitely tough to keep up the momentum! I am always more interested during the fertile window but dh likes it to be more spontaneous. Maybe some wee surprises/underwear? X

[Bella_12 in reply to ClarabGlasgow]

At the start he wanted me to tell him when it was the ‘good’ time but then we had a couple of times when he struggled to get it up, he said he was feeling under pressure. So from then on I said to him I won’t tell him. If I’m honest I’d rather do it around my fertile time but sometimes he doesn’t want to do we miss the boat...again! Hope it all works out for you!x

[jhb_c]

I'm actually relieved to read this....this is where we are too. With all the stresses of not being able to conceive and having to research all of this our sex life has decreased too! We love each other more than ever and are closer in ways I can't explain, but when it comes down to it, one of us is feeling low and depressed or so emotionally exhausted we just can't! Good luck on your journey, fingers crossed for you!x

[Bella_12 in reply to jhb_c]

I know exactly what you mean. Although it’s not a nice place to be in it gives you comfort when your not they only one struggling. We haven’t gone down the route of fertility treatment, well I had to as when I came off the pill my periods stopped for about a year so I got checked out and have PCOS but for the last couple of years all my symptoms have gone and my cycles are regular so that’s really good! My DH doesn’t want to go through all that and if I’m honest nor do I, I’m just hoping that what will be will be and we will get what we want in the end. When I see other ppls bbt charts and all the love hearts on to show they have been having sex like every day and every other it makes me feel so crap, I just feel like we really don’t have a chance! The subject really is an elephant in the room for us, I don’t want to put him under pressure but at the same time I get frustrated when I get turned away! Why is it never easy!!😩

[Hidden]

My goodness.... I stopped speaking about it I don’t turn it down when it comes e love each other in many other ways I have had to fight with sex isn’t the be all and end all but obviously if we want a baby it could help, how her am I’m the ivf journey and final round soon.

I don’t know where it all went wrong, I don’t know how we will put that part back together but I do know somehow we are probably stronger in some ways more than others.

Good luck to all of us who relati Ships have taken a battering 😞

[Hopeful1982]

My husband and I were exactly the same! I found it ironic that there's nothing that puts more of a dampener on your sex life than ttc! I think we were both relieved at the end of each feriliry window that we didn't need to BD again until the next one! I'm not sure how you resolve it but maybe trying to have a night/weekend away when it's not the right time of the month to conceive might help! Good luck x

[Bella_12 in reply to Hopeful1982]

Yes it really is true, it does put such a dampener on your sex life. I don’t feel I can talk to my DH about it as I don’t want to make an issue of it, and then make the situation worse. Argh it’s so frustrating!x