Can it get any worse 😭 : As if 1... - Fertility Network UK

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Can it get any worse 😭

E_05 profile image
E_05
101 Replies

As if 13 hours in and 3 lots of tablets without anything happening wasn’t enough. The nurse who’s now looking after me is pregnant, the day staff were so lovely and caring but the night staff seem to have no idea 😩

All I wanted was for this to happen quickly so we could hopefully meet our little baby and have the chance to say goodbye. Feel so annoyed at my body, first of all it can’t conceive naturally then it can’t keep my baby alive and now it won’t let them go 💔

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E_05 profile image
E_05
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101 Replies
AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv

Awwwwww hun you are seriously being tested aren't you. Bless you both. I really feel for yous. Such a horrid situation to be in feeling the way you are too. Oh hun sending you lots of love. 💗🤗😘

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

I know not sure what I did so wrong in a past life 😕 thank you for all your support today xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to E_05

You've done nothing wrong. Remember the strongest toughest people get the toughest tests in life. Big hugs hun 💗🤗😘

Loopielu profile image
Loopielu

Oh bless your heart. Sending you so much love. I hope it’s over soon for you and you get to meet your little one. xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Loopielu

Thank you, have a feeling it’s going to be a long night xx

Loopielu profile image
Loopielu in reply to E_05

😞 xxx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Ahhh sweetheart, I can't imagine how difficult this is for you! My heart breaks for you!!xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Cinderella5

Thank you xx

C_L_A_I_R_E profile image
C_L_A_I_R_E

Oh Hun, it's awful that you can't let this happen in the comfort of your own home. I'm still waiting for things to happen too but atleast I get to be home. I really hope things start to progress for both of us. We both need to move on from this mentally however emotionally I know it will be sometime. Love nhugs x

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to C_L_A_I_R_E

Your so right, the long waiting just makes it all more painful. Glad your able to be resting at home x

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to E_05

😞 you couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried 😞 it just gets harder doesn’t it? I’m surprised you were in for the day in the first place because I was sent home within an hour of taking my pills. I really hope things start happening for you soon and in the meantime that you get some rest xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Tugsgirl

It sure does, I think because they want to send away a sample they have to keep me in. I was kept in last year to although only for the day xx

NMP1026 profile image
NMP1026

No words hun but just wanted to send love and hugs xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to NMP1026

Thank you xx

kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88

Awww sweetheart you really couldn’t make that up. If they have what you have they won’t understand unless they have been through it.

I really am sending loads of hugs to you I hope it happens soon so you can meet your baby and grieve

Xxxx💐💕

Coracle profile image
Coracle

So sorry. Thinking of you. xxx

louisear profile image
louisear

all I can say is you're in the best place. I was glad I was in hospital when I went through mine. Maybe things are sent to test us. Who knows. But when you get your happy ending (and you will), it'll be the best thing ever and you'll appreciate it more because you know what you've gone through to get there. Xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to louisear

Thank you, do you mind me asking how long it took when you had medical management? X

louisear profile image
louisear in reply to E_05

I was in hospital about 10 hrs in total. Had the first tablets around 10 am which did nothing and the second lot around 1 which did work within about 2 hrs. I lost a lot of blood so they kept me in to check blood pressure and ensure bleeding had stopped. One thing it did make me realise is you are stronger than you think and you will be too. Hope you get some help from the consultant . Lots of love xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to louisear

There discharging me and scanning me tomorrow. That was the same as me last year, it worked after the 2nd lot of tablets and then I was out after the bleeding settled a little think that’s why I thought this year it would be the similar xx

Squeak2 profile image
Squeak2

So sorry for you, hugs xx

Leesara profile image
Leesara

Thinking of you

7AVA profile image
7AVA

So sorry this is being made even harder for you. You are very brave xxxx

vic77 profile image
vic77

Awww hunny I am so so sorry and sad this is being made even tougher for you..sending much love and hugs xx

Sending big hugs your way tonight. Feeling for you and we are all here for you xxxx

tiger-cub profile image
tiger-cub

Oh no that's d worst thing possible. Plz take care of urself. Xx

Oh my I really feel for you! xx take care 💓

Mircle2 profile image
Mircle2

Thinking of you hun sending you all my love & hugs... ❤😗❤

Be kind to yourself hun... xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05

Thank you all so much, unfortunately nothing happened in the night either so we’re waiting to speak to the consultant this morning xx

C_L_A_I_R_E profile image
C_L_A_I_R_E in reply to E_05

Oh Hun. Thinking of you x

Lizzielizzielizzie profile image
Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to E_05

This is so horrible for you. I hope you see the consultant early.

penny24 profile image
penny24 in reply to E_05

Thinking of you and Sending hugs. I hope you see the consultant early. Xx

Sprinkles86 profile image
Sprinkles86

Sending you lots of love and strength, what a horrible time you are having. I hope things get moving soon for you both. Stay strong xxxx

Fredaflintstone profile image
Fredaflintstone

Oh no. So hard. You’d think they’d have a bit more sensitivity about who they place to work in that area. I hope you’re ok. Sending you big hugs. Xxxxxxxx

Just seen you’re post about seeing the consultant. You must be exhausted. Wish there was something I could do to help you xxxx

So sorry to hear this sending u hugs hugs x

Penders profile image
Penders

I'm so sorry you are having to go through all this it is just awful. My heart breaks for you. I hope you get to see the consultant soon and that things start happening. Lots of love and big hugs xxxx

N_M_10 profile image
N_M_10

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you. xx

Coco24 profile image
Coco24

You haven’t done anything wrong. Life can just be bloody unfair sometimes! Please try not to beat yourself up for it. I hope you get the chance to say goodbye very soon. The light will come at some point- it has to. Sending lots of love to you. Xxx

Dream32 profile image
Dream32

Heartbreaking, sending you lots of love x

Sunshine09 profile image
Sunshine09

Thinking of you sending loads of hugs ❤️💋💋

sunshineyellow profile image
sunshineyellow

You're a strong lady. Sending you lots of hugs xx

Hannah143 profile image
Hannah143

My thought are with you Hun xx

Bumblebee15 profile image
Bumblebee15

Thinking of you and so sorry to hear you're going through this xxx

katya38 profile image
katya38

So sorry to hear you're going through this how awful. Take care xx

E_05 profile image
E_05

Thank you all for the continued support. They’ve now decided to discharge me and scan me tomorrow to see if anythings happened xx

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook in reply to E_05

So sorry you’re having to go through this, try and get some rest at home, thinking of you lovely xxxx

Sherry07 profile image
Sherry07

Really sorry to hear you had to go through this 🙁 Sending love and prayers x Please update us tomorrow after your scan x

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Sherry07

Thank you, I will do xx

Sherry07 profile image
Sherry07 in reply to E_05

Thinking of you 💐

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

Hope there’s some progress for you before tomorrow. I hope you’re more comfortable at home xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you, definitely will be more comfortable at home. There saying I might have passed baby without realising in the week but I don’t see how that’s possible xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to E_05

No. I think you’d know...... xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Tugsgirl

That’s what I thought to especially as last year I bled loads and saw the sac I passed. Feel like my mind is even more messed up now xx

Becca21 profile image
Becca21 in reply to Tugsgirl

I agree with this totally, you'd know if you did pass the baby. Even if you fail to spot the big clot that's supposed to pass out (I doubt it can be missed though), there will be heavy bleeding and some kind of a nauseous feel as well as possibly all the AF type things - most women will have them. I know it's not really possible to hold onto emotions at this point but still, I'll ask you to try, till the scan at least.

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Becca21

Thank you, this is exactly what i thought until they told me baby might have passed without me knowing as last year I passed the sac and definitely knew about it.

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to E_05

They shouldn't have said that and put doubts in your mind your vulnerable at this stage and medical staff sending you home with that thought in your mind (even though you would know) they should have scanned you while you were there instead of saying something like that

I really wonder sometimes what goes on in ppls brains. I'm glad your at home were your more comfortable I hope things start happening soon bless you 💗🤗😘

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

I know I feel like my minds working over drive now think ‘what if’ but surely if something had happened in the week there would of been blood? Just feel emotional exhausted now and they’ve said they’ll ring me tomorrow to book me in for a scan in the week can even guarantee it’ll be tomorrow xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to E_05

Idiots. Yes there would have been blood you'd know. Why on earth would they even suggest such a thing. Silly ppl. I hope things start progressing pretty soon because the waiting is making matters even more stressful. Sending you lots of love 💗🤗😘

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

Thank you, I feel like I’m just doubting myself now and my brain is working over drive xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to E_05

As soon as I read what they said I knew that's what you'd be feeling. It's wrong to say something like that to someone in your current situation xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

I know I can’t believe they’ve just left me feeling all these what ifs. I’m glad others think I’d know if baby had passed already as they looked at me like I was crazy when I said I’m sure id know xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to E_05

Stupid people did you tell them you haven't bled? Xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

Yeah and even while I was in I only passed 2 small clots in my urine never had full bleeding. I know it’s pointless but I’ve done a test since being home which is still a strong positive surely if baby had passed it wouldn’t still be as strong xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to E_05

I don't understand why they've said that to you and sent you home it's ridiculous. You were there that long they should have either kept you in and scanned you in the morning or kept their weird opinions to themselves and sent you home and called you when a scan would be done in case nothing has progressed. I don't know but you needent have had this added to your already very stressful time xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

Thank you, I know this whole thing is just like a nightmare. When they ring I’m gona push that I’m scanned tomorrow and not just left until during the week xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to E_05

Yes do tell them what they've said is playing in your mind and you'll happily wait just get seen too in fact you ring them first thing they have bad habits of not ringing when supposed too. Xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

That’s a good point, il ring first thing tomorrow xx

Lizzielizzielizzie profile image
Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to E_05

Omg this is so awful for you. I’m so sorry. If you haven’t bled and the pregnancy test is still strong then surely you haven’t passed it? Definitely push for a scan. Have you begun to prepare yourself for the thought of a d&c? I’d assume that’s the next step if it doesn’t pass. 😥

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie

That’s what I thought until the stupid consultant this morning. They’ve said if the scan shows baby hasn’t moved at all then I can re try the tablets in a weeks time.

Lizzielizzielizzie profile image
Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to E_05

Surely you could push for d&c if you decide that’s what you want though.

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this.

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie

I didn’t really want a d&c as we wanted to have some sort of service for baby and we can’t from that option. Equally not sure I can put myself through more unsuccessful tablets, guess after the scan il know more and we can decide.

Lizzielizzielizzie profile image
Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to E_05

Yes I can understand that. Fingers crossed that nature/drugs take their course soon.

Becca21 profile image
Becca21 in reply to E_05

If you're somewhere in the 8-10 weeks the HCG levels will take about 5-7 days to get back to 0 from the point of the loss. For more advanced stage of gestation, it may take up to 15 days. 2 weeks is the highest time for fading of BFP on HPT that I've personally heard of from fellow struggling women.

I'm not sure what the dark BFP indicates at this point and won't really get your hopes high based on assumptions. However, both my MCs (8 weeks and 9 week) faded visibly around the 5th day and by 8th it was all gone.

Anipea profile image
Anipea

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Thinking of you xxx

7AVA profile image
7AVA

Thinking of you E_05 - hope you are more comfortable at home xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to 7AVA

Thank you, yeah glad to be home in comfort but my mind is a total mess xx

Alessia profile image
Alessia

You are going thorugh something terrible dear... I am really sorry for that. I wish there was something that I could do to help you. The only thing there is though, it's a virtual tap on the back. Your story is super sad. God do I wish things were different! However that's life and there is nothing that we can do about it but keep fighting. I am sure that god has a plan for you. Have just a little more patience, something big is waiting for you. God never takes everything away from you. Maybe, actually scrap that, I know that the rewards for this will be gigantic! I just hope that you find the patience needed to make it to the rewards. God bless you both. May all your dreams come true dear, you deserve it!

PS: Try not to be so harsh on yourself. This is out of your control and hating yourself won't give you any good. Stay strong and believe in yourself.

pm27 profile image
pm27

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I had to go into hospital for 3 overnight stays over 3 weeks for the medical management to finally be competed. I didn't pass the babies in hospital but several days later whilst out and about, the 1st twin after the 2nd stay and the 2nd twin after the 3rd stay. It was obvious when they passed what they were. I was told that if it didn't work 3rd time that they would do D&C. I naively thought that it would be completed during the first go but my body decided otherwise. They did scan me but this was several days after each stay to check what was happening and to plan next steps. The waiting was distressing and with retrospect I wish I'd gone for D&C. Pregnancy hormones continued to be present until the mc was finally completed one day I woke up and didn't feel pregnant any more, this was confirmed by urine test at the hospital.

Hopefully you'll get to speak to someone tomorrow who can advise you on next steps.

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to pm27

Thank you for sharing with me, am so sorry for your losses. Do you mind me asking how far gone you were? I think because last year it worked straight away I to expected it to work again, they’ve said it the scan shows baby hasn’t passed i can try the tablets again in a weeks time x

pm27 profile image
pm27 in reply to E_05

Mmc discovered at 12 week scan, they said the babies died at just over 8 weeks. They were identical twins from a natural conception, we didn't know at that stage that there were fertility issues. I assumed that everything was OK with the pregnancy as no bleeding and I felt pregnant, it was an awful shock to find out that we'd lost the pregnancy. I'd had a natural mc previous to that so assumed that medical management would be similar but it wasn't.

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to pm27

So sorry again for your losses but thank you, it’s given me some re assurance of what I thought before the consultant decided to mess with my head this morning

pm27 profile image
pm27 in reply to E_05

Sorry to hear whatever the consultant said has messed with your head. Have you been signposted to The Miscarriage Association? They have a website and a helpline. I found it really helpful.

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to pm27

Thank you, yeah I went on their website last year so may try it again.

cls37 profile image
cls37

Just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you xx

Becca21 profile image
Becca21

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles! :( Having had 2 MCs and still on the stride of trying for a baby, I can totally relate to what you're feeling. You can't really blame your body for this, it's painful to bear with it I know but clinically it's just like any other ailment that just happens and you can't do much to help it really other than the treatment. It's just a heartbreaking ride but can't give up on hope - that's what keeps us going. Sending you lots of love!

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86

Thinking of you. Sorry to hear that medical management is taking so long to work, it must be so tough 🙁 Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

Thank you just feel like they’ve messed with my mind and sent me on my way with bed pans and a pot incase 😔xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

That's really awful 🙁 Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

Hoping the midwife can get me a scan today 🤞xx

Thinking of you I'm so sorry that this horrible journey continues for you. I really hope that you get seen again tomorrow so that you can get answers. Xxx

Rubinaa profile image
Rubinaa

I'm sorry you've had to go through so much it's unbelievable, I feel terrible for you. I'll pray for you sweetie. Xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Rubinaa

Thank you so much xx

E_05 profile image
E_05

— Just wanted to thank you all for the continued support couldn’t of got through this weekend without it. Spoken to early pregnancy and they won’t scan me until Thursday apparently that’s there protocol, they want to see if anything happens naturally first. Everyone seems to be contradicting themselves and forgetting I’m left not knowing what to think or expect 😢 looks like we’re in for another long week 😔 xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to E_05

I’m sorry you’re having to go through this long drawn out process. Still thinking of you xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you, I’m going to speak to the bereavement midwife and see if she can push for one today. Can’t think of what else to do xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to E_05

It’s ridiculous to keep making you wait xx

Lizzielizzielizzie profile image
Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to E_05

Oh god how horrid.

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to E_05

Awww hun. This is ridiculous it's so unfair I hope someone sees sense and treats you like a human instead of a flipping protocol. I know that doesn't make sense but you know what I mean. They say one thing and do another put rubbish in your head when you can't take no more. I'm really mad for you and i just want to let you know where all thinking of you and here if you want to rant get it out. Lots of love hun hope things start progressing soon 💗🤗😘

How traumatic this must be for you both. I hope you're able to be seen sooner rather than later. Thinking of you xx

Lou9 profile image
Lou9

So sorry to hear everything you are going through. It's just ridiculously unfair and very sad. Been thinking about you lots. Sending you a hug. Xx

Persian40 profile image
Persian40

So sorry. I hate my body too because it won't just do It! The nurse situation is really so insensitive. I know resources are so tight but honestly. Thinking of you x

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