Struggling as I head toward what would have been my due date 😢

Hello all. I've been following all the good news stories and the not so good news stories. It's been both heart warming and heart breaking to read your posts.

I'm struggling at the moment as I'm only 3 weeks away from what would have been my due date.

I have to say this year has been incredibly tough. I'm still not sure how I'm getting through it or if I actually am 😔

I'm trying to keep it together but as the date approaches I'm fearful of how I will be. Being at work doesn't help (I'm a neonatal nurse) but I can't afford to be off anymore this year.

I'm hoping to start FET in November. Trying to stay hopeful but it's just so hard.

Reaching out to you all as it's tough to find people who understand xx

[E_05]

Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss, I had a MMC last year and also really struggled with the build up to my due date earlier this year.

There are no words to make it any easier, I planted a rose on my due date which did help but always remember your precious baby will never be forgotten xx

[Hidden in reply to E_05]

Thank you x

[Lou9]

I'm so sorry for your loss, it is just devastating. I discovered my first pregnancy was ectopic in April. I often count how many weeks I would be now and how long until my due date in November. It is very sad and no words can make it any easier. Just know I'm thinking of you. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Lou9]

Thank you x

[kt_11]

Really sorry for your loss, and can't imagine how it must feel for you. All the luck in the world for your next cycle, you deserve it. Please take care of yourself x

[Hidden in reply to kt_11]

Thank you x

[Hollibob]

It's tough and no one can take that away..I blow bubbles in the garden on what would have been our due date...

My friends baby is due on what would have been one of our due dates...

X

[Hidden in reply to Hollibob]

Thank you x

The bubbles sound almost magical ❣️

[Daxi16]

Look after yourself thinking of you xx

[robbie03]

I think lighting a candle, releasing a balloon, planting a rose, writing the baby a letter, a walk to a special place/view - they are all lovely ways to mark the day, give you time to grieve and feel some release of emotion. Do something lovely for yourself and we'll all be thinking of you, you can get through this with a huge amount of support from us all here! Lots of love xxx

[Hidden in reply to robbie03]

Thank you. Means a lot x

[Poppy16]

So sorry to hear this. I also am reflecting when my due date would have been in 3 weeks time too. It is incredibly difficult and I completely understand. I also feel sad in October as my first baby would have been 4 this year if the pregnancy had have been successful. March is another horrible month as I lost another baby 3 years ago. I will never forget the 3 losses. I have planted trees in their memory and also wear a forget me not necklace with 3 birthstones of the 3 babies I lost in 3 different months. Nothing will ever take away your pain but please know you are not alone. Wishing you a very happy,healthy pregnancy soon. It will happen and all will work out. We all have to tell ourselves this and try to keep believing. I know it is hard but we have to have faith. I feel so sad for you. Please treat yourself to a beauty treatment,do some retail therapy,go out to cinema/have a nice meal/head out somewhere nice around what would have been your due date and try and occupy your mind with happier things. Take care and sending you big hugs.xo

[Hidden in reply to Poppy16]

Thank you so much I appreciate it x

[Pookymama]

Oh hun, it's such a cruel and painful time and work must be horrendous for you.

Maybe take some time out with your partner to do something special to commemorate that day and be gentle with yourself hun. After all you've been through you deserve the time to grieve in order to heal.

I bought a commemorative poem, wrote to our little Pooky on it and put it in our memory box. We lit a candle for him and said a few words. We have a rose for him too.

I promise you in time this will become easier and looking forward won't be so hard.

I believe there's a rainbow at the end of this storm huni. Hang in there.

Big hugs xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Pookymama]

Thank you x

[Hidden]

Thank you all for your lovely supportive words. I really do appreciate it. It's so incredibly sad that so many of us have been and are going through feelings like this.

I did my first night shift for 6 months last night and we looked after a very poorly baby. I feel honoured to do the job I do and we always give the best care we can to our families. But now for me there is hint of heartbreak for every baby I care for as I long so much to have my own.

I'm going to keep moving forward until one day I reach my dream of being a mummy.

As the date in October draws ever closer I will cry when I need to (like now😢), I will take the time I need to get through these difficult weeks and I will celebrate my little one with all my heart ❤️

[Cinderella5]

So sorry for your loss and that you are finding it tough in the lead up to your due date! As others have suggested maybe do something to mark your due date to remember your lost little one! Sending hugs!xx

[preety123]

Hi hellsbells36,

Don't worry about it, I wish and will pray that everything will be fine. I can totally understand your fear as I am a mother too and know its been so tough and cheerful at same time. Still I will suggest you to stay calm and take some expert advice. And I just read about some online webinars will come this week in English, if you want to know about it, then I can ask my friend and tell you the exact link of same.

In the end I will only suggest to stay calm even watching funny videos of kids and animals helped in it. XX

[DC13]

I am so sorry for you loss. I totally and completely understand how your are feeling. We passed out expected due date on 25August and to top it all I had to travel abroad on my own for some ERP mapping tests etc. It was not my ideal to actually be having my insides scrapped at on what should have been a great day.

I feel bad that we did not mark the day in some way.

Our little ones will always be with us in our hearts but that does not mean we can switch off our feelings.

Thinking of you.

xx

[Hidden]

the due date always stirs up feelings of loss and grief because it reminds you how you should be bringing home a newborn but sadly you lost out on that and you plan for the newborn and get excited and it hurts when it's all snatched away from you in such a cruel way.