Well thanks guys

[Fredaflintstone]

Feeling a little unsupported on here - seems like I support others but v little coming my way (with a couple of exceptions) so I think I'm gonna switch forums. Sorry if I've upset people by saying the wrong thing when trying to be comforting. I wish you all the very best in your journeys. Bye bye.

[Hampshiregal]

Oh sweetie, I am sorry to hear this. This is why the spamming gets to me, as it means real posts can get lost.

I wish you all the very best xx

P.s. I have pm you.

[Leesalou]

Don't go, i have felt the same sometimes, this place is really good don't give up on it yet, feel free to pm if you wanna chat I'm a good listener,

Xx

[E_05]

So sorry your feeling like this, if you ever want to talk feel free to PM me. Wishing you lots of luck for whatever you do decide xx

[London7]

I'm so sorry to hear this! I've been away on holiday lately (and still am) and not checking this site as often because of that. But I agree with Hampshiregal - I think a lot of posts are getting lost because of the spam - sometimes it fills up the newsfeed and you don't see what is below. I suspect that's probably the case with some of your posts (and others' posts) lately! So I hope you don't give up on the site and let the spammers win! Xx

[misswinky34]

i don't think ppl are ignoring you hun. for me i won't give advice on something i have no knowledge of, but that's just because I don't want to be unhelpful I'm sorry you feel you need to go ☹ hope you will be back soon. ❤

[Lilli79 in reply to misswinky34]

Yeah I'm the same, i don't like to give advice about things I'm not sure on. I think a lot of people are on different types of fertility programmes and personally I don't fully understand all of it. I don't get very many replies to my posts but the ones I get are really informative, for which I'm really grateful. I do hope you reconsider, this forum is like my best friend who I can literally tell anything to xx

[Hannah143]

Don't go, that would be bad. And don't apologise! There is some weird stuff going on here, my account has been blocked by admin! Perhaps they thought I'm from the Ukraine 🇺🇦 😜. Don't go lovely xx

[Fredaflintstone]

Hi all sorry I think I'm just being a bit of a twit. It's been a hard week with the horrid Progynova headaches and the dilation which was nothing to worry about after all. Now on the patches and the headaches have gone - hooray. I realise I'm not as together as I thought I was and think I need a good cry. I will stick around. I think I'd be lost without it tbh! Xxx

[Leesalou in reply to Fredaflintstone]

Glad you sticking with the forum.

Hopefully bringing it up has helped,

It does you good to have a good cry every now and then,

And it's totally acceptable with everything we go through to have shitter days than others, xx

[Macavela in reply to Fredaflintstone]

Awww my darling, you poor thing, it's so easy to get bogged under and feel like the world's against you. Like some of the other lovely ladies- I'm relatively inexperienced with a lot of the technical stuff and don't have opinions/experience to offer (yet!😄) but for moans and cheerleading I'm game!😀

[Fredaflintstone in reply to Macavela]

Thanks hun! Xxx

[Tw1986 in reply to Fredaflintstone]

Hi hun I'm still on here and I still read everyone's posts to be honest it's so hard now after having my treatment to post, our journeys are so difficult and so hard to get through but the thing is with this forum is no matter what we are always here when really needed! Ive gone through treatment this year along with a laparoscopy and all the stress that comes along with it, luckily ours worked and currently 11 weeks pregnant so since finding out I've really struggled to post anything or even comment because I feel so guilty for the ladies that are still trying. I'm sorry you felt that way but please don't take it to heart hun we are all here for each other we ow it to each other! I could not of done it without this forum ❤️🙌🏻❤️

[Fredaflintstone in reply to Tw1986]

Don't feel guilty TW - you've been through such a lot and need to look after yourself now you have a little one on board. I was just having a bad day. Am better now. Hope all is well with you xxx

[Hidden]

Just about to post but saw your update that your staying which is great news ❤️ Have a good cry it usually makes me feel better xxx

[Rainbow_86]

Hope you are ok..... I'm always here too if you need a chat...... it's so emotional sometimes..... look after yourself... xxxxxx

[Lou290901]

I'm so sorry you felt like this, please know we are here for you but sometimes I get so caught up in my own grief, trying to support my sis etc that I don't always reply although I do try to read as many posts as possible.

Also sometimes I have no advice or words but please know there will always be someone here. Hope you're feeling a little better Hun x x x

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

Don't go hun. People on here will help if they can most definitely from what iv seen everyone is extremely supportive. Just sometimes either people don't know, much about what you posted or they haven't seen it. The other day I posted a post on here and endometriosis uk no one replied. It's just the way it is sometimes. People help were they can. Hope your OK and hope you stay. Xx

[Fredaflintstone]

Sorry I know everyone is going through their own stuff and I wish I'd not posted now. Was really being a twit! We're all going through such a lot! Xxxxx

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Fredaflintstone]

Don't say that now you know how much people are there for you if they can be and now you posted that I'm sure they'll be more alert for your posts if they don't get lost. Xx don't worry. Hopefully you've got a little boost now with us asking you not to go. This forum is really amazing. Like a virtual family xx

[7AVA]

Glad you're not off! Hope you're feeling better now xxx

[Tugsgirl]

For what it's worth I've always appreciated any comments you've made to me... It's worth baring in mind that sometimes people don't reply to a post because they don't always have an answer...

I wish you lots of luck xx

[vic77]

I don't think I have seen any of your posts. I agree with Tugsgirl Sometimes I Don't Always Know What To Say Either And Sometimes I Don't Feel Like Replying As Can Feel Too Difficult. I try to at least respond in a helpful way to one person at least once a week as there are times I could be on here for days so have to limit myself sometimes. I am glad you are sticking around as the ladies on here are amazing the silent and the vocal ones. Rough days come and then they go..thank goodness..take it easy xxx

[Tugsgirl in reply to vic77]

Hahhaha I am on here all day! 😂😂😂 Oh well, beats Facebook xx

[vic77 in reply to Tugsgirl]

Lol. .I am so psyched for u Mrs have you allowed yourself to be even a little excited yet?xx

[Tugsgirl in reply to vic77]

A little, still finding it hard to believe.. just hope I have better luck than the last time 🙏🏻 xx

[vic77 in reply to Tugsgirl]

I hope so too..keep believing 🌈🌈xx

[kelsbels88 in reply to Tugsgirl]

I agree I'd rather be on here than on fb lol 😂 x

[kelsbels88]

Aww bless you sorry your feeling like that. Hope everything starts to feel a little better soon on me if u want someone to lend an ear xx

[Lou9]

So sorry to hear this!!! Glad you're not leaving. Sometimes I feel like I don't know enough to answer posts but please know you're not alone. ❤️ Xx

[Fredaflintstone]

What a lovely bunch you all are! I'm feeling super supported now! You are all really fantastic and while I'm embarrassed to have thrown my toys out of the pram you've all been so lovely and understanding and now I am counting my blessings. Wishing you all happy weekend or at the least for those who are not having a good day today, happier moments tomorrow xxxx

[kelsbels88 in reply to Fredaflintstone]

Bless you it's ok to throw your toys every now and then as long as you collect them all back up again and carry on playing lol 😂.

Glad you're feelings a lot better I understand how hard it can be.

I don't comment very often as I have been told there is nothing I can do but "keep trying" every month. As I'm under 35 and haven't been trying for 2yrs they won't do anything to help us and I don't qualify for fertility treatment. So I find it very challenging to comment on everyone's posts as I'm not very educated on the journeys everyone is on especially the IVF side of things.

I hope you manage to keep your spirits up and keep going.

Hugs xxx

[Fredaflintstone in reply to kelsbels88]

That sounds hard. Are you using opks to monitor ovulation etc? You could also use basal temperature monitoring to check to see that you've ovulated each month - all helps to better understand how things are working and more info to take along to the docs. Thanks for the hugs xxx

[kelsbels88 in reply to Fredaflintstone]

Thanks hun, I do find it quite hard and have many a cry about it.

I have a clear blue fertility monitor, which always seems to have 2highs and then 2 peak days followed by 1 high day before it then goes low until af shows up.

My basal temperature is I think the only thing I haven't tried.

My pleasure with the hugs 😊 anytime xxx

[Fredaflintstone in reply to kelsbels88]

It is so hard and so frustrating! you do the basal on same time every morning. While still in bed and before moving about it will go up after you've ovulated. It will help you to build a pic of when you're ovulating babycenter.com/chart-basal-...

There are online apps like fertility friend you can use to chart that and your opk results. I found that quite useful to do. It doesn't help as such with knowing when to baby dance because it tells you you've ovulated after it's happened but it helps build a picture of when you're ovulating.

You could also perhaps look into doing tests privately if you've been trying for a long time, just to see what's happening with you and OH to help identify if there is an evidence of any issues maybe? Some places aren't too expensive to do that.

The other thing they say is to baby dance every other day - exhausting! But I'm sure you've heard that all before!

Lots of my friends have taken a good while to conceive after coming off the pill but all have managed to do so in the end, so hang in there! Xxx

[London7 in reply to Fredaflintstone]

I'm glad to hear you are staying! And you are allowed to throw your toys out every now and then! In fact, often I find it quite cathartic! Also glad to hear the dilation wasn't anything to worry about. I wasn't on the treatment you are on, so like others that is the other reason sometimes I haven't responded to your posts. But others I think I just haven't seen because if all the spam lately (sometimes I see the spam and get so cross I don't scroll down but get off the site). Xx

[Hidden]

I, too, don't feel I can offer much advice to most of the people on here as a lot of you are going through IVF, something I can't yet relate to. I often feel I don't give as much back as I receive but I try to give as many reassuring 'good luck' and 'thinking of you messages' where appropriate 😁 Yours is one of the names I am familiar with as I know you've offered me some reassuring words at some point. This journey can make you feel so lonely at times but we all know how you feel. I'm glad you've decided to stay 😁 xx

[Fredaflintstone]

Thank you both. The dilation isn't part of the treatment cycle as such - it's cos I had a difficult transfer last time and so they checked my cervix and found it was not wide enough at the top so they've widened it a bit today. I was dreading it but it was fine. I was knocked out. Hopefully the next transfer will be more straightforward as a result.

It's true what people have said about not commenting on posts where you haven't gone through the same things cos often don't comment on posts speaking about things I've not experienced and sometimes I focus on the BFNs and BFPs most. I've tidied up my toys now until the next time! If anyone else fancies a tantrum to make me feel less silly please do xxx

[_MrsC]

Hi Hun. I'm so sorry you feel let down. I'll try to be better at replying. You have been so kind to me and I'm really grateful.

I had problems with spam and then my internet. I feel awful as I need to catch up properly with you all and am trying to do a little each day.

I'm really glad to see you're staying and hope that your stroppy do (that's what we call them in our house) helped. I had a massive one yesterday and I think I may have even stamped my feet. It was over cleaning the house. I got upset because I felt I would let my visitors down if it wasn't clean and tidy enough. Realised I was overcompensating when I shouted at my husband, "I can't produce a child but surely I can produce a clean house!" Clearly the anger and frustration are still present.

Anyway, thought it might help to know you're not the only one who has toys to throw. 😉

Big hug,

x

[Fredaflintstone in reply to _MrsC]

Aw thank you! But please don't feel bad - I'm just being a twit (or worse). Glad to know I'm not the only one who has the odd strop. At least we can blame all these hormones. Hope you feel better for yours! It always seems to help. I love the name stroppy do - I may borrow it for my next one! Hope you've managed to sort your IT out now. I'd go nuts without mine (and with it!). I'm sure your visitors won't care if your house isn't like a shiny pin and will be happy just to see you. Life's too short for cleaning! Thanks for your kind message xx

[stephanienissim]

Just sending kisses xxxxxxx

[Fredaflintstone in reply to stephanienissim]

Thank you - to you too xxxxxxx

[Hidden]

Ah Fredaflintstone - I did see your post about dilation and meant to look it up but got lost in my own world. I'm glad the procedure went well. Was it just the top of the cervix that was the issue?

I am currently delaying IVF no 2 because I had a terrible ET last time, incredibly painful. Nurse said I was (nearly) levitating off the bed.

I am now behind in smears too, as a result of the pain. They did a practice ET on me at my nurse planning appt a few months back, and it was hell, even with the small speculum.

Anyway, I'm sure we are talking about a very different issue. Mine is caused by endo scarring and nodules and all the jazz...

What I really wanted to say was - don't apologise. You were right to have a wee tantrum. I find some people get massive number of replies and some don't. It's like a crowd mentality going on here but indeed i think it's because we were all a bit clueless about your procedure. The spam numpties have not helped. I've been reporting so many posts. Feel like I am wasting time but I don't want people to get sucked into the their sick sales crap.

We all have to throw wobblers with this IVF journey, it's totally normal and you are in the right place to do so. Come on, we've all been there - whether online or at home or in the car. It's totally normal. So, no apologies needed here.

I'll look out for you from now on. I've not long rejoined after leaving a few years back. I left for a few reasons then, mainly I'd given way too much about myself but I also joined NCT network and hated it. Some really aggressive entitled mummies on there. I lost heart. But that said, I could not have gone through IVF back then without the help of ladies on here - so it's worth staying.

Please stick around. We all need to throw our toys out of the pram from time to time, better out than in I say.

Hope you sleep well tonight. Night night xxx

[Fredaflintstone in reply to Hidden]

Thank you lovely! Yes as far as we know mine is jist because of tight cervix neck which made transfer difficult. I wasn't in pain as such but had lots of crampiness after which is not meant to be a good sign. I had a saline scan and dummy transfer and they said that they couldn't get the ET catheter through so recommended the dilation (it's where they open the neck of the cervix with progressively bigger catheters but only to 5mm to aid the ET). Would that help you too do you think or perhaps being sedated for your next one? I've heard that is possiblr. Yours sounds like it was really painful 😖 so sedation might be the way to go? I can understand why you'd want a break for a bit to gear yourself up to it again but that might be something worth exploring if you've not already looked into it?

Everyone's been really kind to me this eve - though I don't deserve it! I guess it shows I'm human if nothing else and helps me know we are all here for each other. Thanks for your lovely message! You sleep well too Hun. Will look out for your posts too xxx

[Hidden in reply to Fredaflintstone]

You do deserve it - we all understand how awful this journey can be. Sorry, hate to call it a journey. But it's a long one... you know what i mean. It's just cruel and we can all be sensitive, and often for good reason.

Yes, I think sedation may be the way to go. My Dr said I can have a valium type medication for the smear (I need clear smear results in order to do the FET).

The mock transfer did work, my cervix did allow that - but i had pain for weeks after. Was hell.

Anyway, don't get me wrong, I dont mean to moan as I am one of the lucky ones, IVF did work for me last time. So actually the pain did not negatively impact the result. At the time I thought it had, and I was furious and upset.

So, I'm okay. My situ isn't that bad, I know I am v lucky. I have not created posts on here yet as just feel I am not in the same situ as i was a few years back and my heart goes out to all of you. I have not forgotten the terror of this journey.

Thanks for the tips - you are v kind. Do stay in touch.xxxx

[KatVonB]

Dont really know u but sorry u feel like this - dont leave cuz sometimes ppl dont mean to ignore or anything but dont probably knw wat to say either xxxx

[Kelly-03]

Please don't feel like that and we try to help. How are you feeling with everything? X

[CountryCat]

Really hope you will stay as you seem lovely and the ladies on here are phenomenal (that includes you!)

Hope you recover from your procedure quickly and that it has been successful xxx

[Evie1]

I am so pleased you have decided to stay, I am a Mum watching and supporting my Daughter and Son in Law through this, so I don't have great understanding of all questions asked. I admire you all and always wish the best for everyone. Take care and keep strong xx

[ShellyC in reply to Evie1]

Just want to say how wonderful that you are on here as a mum to someone going through this. I honestly don't know where I would be without my mums (and my dads) support right now. You are a hero! X

[me08]

Awww, I definitely know how you feel as I have thought about it a few times in the past months. You are not overreacting as I would if I had the strength to throw my toys out...lol. Glad you are sticking around all the same xxx

[Fredaflintstone]

Thank you everyone - am feeling much better today after a good sleep. No after effects from the procedure so that is good and looking forward to a nice weekend with my mum, aunt and cousins. Hope you all have a good day and sending hugs to those who need one xxx

[Sherry07]

Happy you are still here and having a nice day 😇 Lets all stay together strong 💪🏻 x

[kelsbels88]

Thank you so much for the reply and the info

I'm definitely going to look into doing it as I haven't yet might as well go all in as do everything else and I have fertility friend so may as well add a bit more info to get a better idea.

I'm holding off for now on the private tests as I had bloods done on day 21 and day 4 which both show all is well but we are just waiting on hubbys results so fingers crossed all is well should hopefully have them tues if not will have to ring GP.

We're dancing as much as possible but been out due to flo arriving end of last wrk so we'll get bk on that too lol 😂

It's true so many ppl I've spoken to have said they took along time with their first baby (working in childcare all these ladies already have children) so I know it's going to be a long term thing and I know in some ways we will all value it so much more when we get BFP's as we've waited so much longer to get there.

I'm just keeping everything crossed and hoping beyond hope that some day soon things will work out for all of us xx

[Fredaflintstone in reply to kelsbels88]

Sounds like you are doing everything you can do. Hope all goes well for next week. I am sure you will get there xxx

[kelsbels88 in reply to Fredaflintstone]

Thank you I just gna keep trying it's all I can do lol 😂 x here if you ever need to throw all your toys again 😊 xx

[ShellyC]

Don't feel like a twit! I completely understand. I only post occasionally and when I do only get a handful of responses (which have been really lovely and helpful). But then I see others who get a lot more response and wonder why! Generally I put it down to time of day and that I post specific things that people don't know about. Like others have said, I generally stick to commenting on things that I know about or have had experience of, and have to admit I am not good at giving general love and good luck... although I am thinking it! I also have taken breaks from the forum at times, as can feel it adds to my total obsession with our situation, but then turn back to it as and when needed.

Don't worry, we are all here for you! Big love x

[Leesara]

Only just seen this post, haven't been on for vouple of day..... but glad you are staying on the forum x