Close to giving up

[LizzieStape]

29

PCOS

Metformin dose: 1000mg a day

Excuse me for a second but I need to rant. I feel like I've given up.

I haven't had a period since January. I've been discharged by my fertility clinic for missing an appointment (long story). Everyone around me is having babies.

In August we will have been trying for 3 years.

For a while I was really really good. Quit alcohol. Tried to eat well. Joined a gym. But lately I've been having just chocolate for lunches at work. 2 or 3 bars a day. And a coke pretty much daily. Not going to the gym so much and even drinking again.

DH and I have just had a 2 week holiday away in France where did a lot of Baby Dancing. End of the first week I had a tiny bit of bleeding - just a bit when you wipe kind of thing. I thought maybe my period was starting to ruin the holiday typically (it was also my birthday) but it disappeared as fast as it came.

Is it wrong to hope that it was ovulation bleeding, or even implantation? Should I wait 2 weeks and do a test? Urgh.

Also, this is probably (read: Definitely, very) silly. But around the same time we were being harassed by a hornet. It even got into our tent while we were out and I had to let it out. DH did some research and apparently Hornet's are fertility symbols! Who knew? Hubby seems really excited about this but i'm trying not to get carried away because i'll just end up getting upset for the billionth time.

Sorry this probably makes no sense but it's been rattling round in my brain and I just needed someplace to let it out.

[emu2016]

Don't give up.

I remember being discharged from the fertility clinic in Jan 2015. I'd completed their to do list. I would fall pregnant now... by April I was in my doctors telling them that I was no better. My periods were crazy; I couldn't live like this anymore and wanted to be on the pill. It was fine if I wasn't to have children. (It wasn't! But I couldn't go on) My Dr referred me back to the fertility clinic. They did new tests and helped me... turned out there was more problems than me being overweight!

Can you go back to your dr for help?

And don't worry about and rants here! x

[LizzieStape in reply to emu2016]

I'm trying 😊 just started my period this morning and I'm at my lowest weight yet so things could finally be moving the right way!

I'm going try and get to the Clomid weight and then be re-referred to the clinic otherwise I'll end up being told to lose it and wait for review again

[StuLisa]

I think even if you 'give up' with IVF, you won't be 'giving up completely'. My friend was due to start IVF due to PCOS & fell pregnant naturally just before she started her clomid! You won't give up trying for a baby until you use protection!

I completely understand you with the eating & drinking. That is me at the moment! I think for me it's a stage in the process. It's my way of 'making myself feel better' 'proving I can still enjoy life' 'if I can't have kids I'm gunna live life to the full' etc & I've always had it in the back of my mind...that couples get pregnant 'by accident' all the time (as we well know), so surely they weren't all exercising 3 times a week, avoiding decaf, eating 5 a day, not drinking alcohol?....

Dont beat yourself up too much xx

[LizzieStape in reply to StuLisa]

Thank you 😊

I'm trying to turn it around and been eating a bit better. Somethings worked though because my period finally started. Cross fingers this is the start of good things