Reading....

[emu2016]

I swear if i read as much at school as I have read now I'd either be working in the health sector or at least have scored better on biology. I can't stop reading!!!!! And then convincing myself it won't work. 

Yesterday we went to do our paperwork and baseline scan etc. Even though not starting until June - my clinic is moving... So they want to get everything in order.  

I've realised three things from this...

1: I read and don't share. My husband was learning all kinds of things about 2, 3, 5 day transfers and how ICSI is done and it dawned on me - I read all this stuff and don't share! Because I don't want him to think I'm obsessing over it. I'm not! I am.

2: reading things makes me worry more. Yesterday at my scan I had one follicle on one ovary and none on the other. I suddenly felt stupid... I know that's not many... But I suddenly didn't know whether follicles grow each month or whether there was once loads there and now that there is 1 between the two it means I will never get any more. So I googled it. Why can't I find anything about this? Except repeatedly reading that less than 4 follicles probably means they'll cancel the cycle half way through. Could I have more follicles ever?

3: someone should turn Google off between midnight and 6am. 

x

[hope84]

If its one thing I've learnt don't be hard on yourself or expect too much go into it with an open mind. Although if cycle does fail it will be heartbreaking but it's not the end!! But definitely stay away from Google it will only just drive you crazy!! (Believe me lol). Be kind to each other support each other and have outside support also is a great help just remember hubby is feeling it too even though they tend to hide better!! Eat well drink plenty of water!! Take time to rest. Speak to the clinic regarding follicles etc don't Google it drives you mad!! Neither of you are obsessing over this journey becomes everyday life when on this roller coaster!!! Xxx

[emu2016 in reply to hope84]

Why don't I just ring the clinic?! Great advice! It's funny how we think we should just know stuff. x

[Cino]

I was very similar to you on our first cycle. The drugs will encourage more follicle growth. It did for me. I have low ovarian reserve, so was stunned when my second cycle yeilded 13 follicles and 9 eggs. It really depends on the cycle, it can vary from cycle to cycle. Hang in there, I ended up with 3 eggs on my first cycle and they still did the transfer. Thinking of you. ☺

[emu2016 in reply to Cino]

Thank you!!!! I also just read on page 23 of the huge Zita West book by my bed that they grow each month. Ahhhhh. This is crazy. I just want to excited! That's amazing for your second cycle! Off to look at your profile and have a read of your journey! 

#canthelpreading - at least it isn't Google! 

[denang]

Yep, follicles change a lot over the course and the drugs are what kicks them into growing. I don't remember what I started with but each time the number changed when I went for a scan.

Don't be too worried about all the reading. If we didn't spend hours doing it then we wouldn't know anything, clinics are notourisly bad at giving info and we need to do our own detective work to inform ourselves. 

My only advice would be to try and read about the next phases and not the last... Meaning for example, once collection is done don't obsess about reading what your number of eggs might mean... There wil be nothing you can change about that once it's done and you'll make yourself sick with worry comparing to others' stories. Try and read about the next phase to inform yourself. I didn't do this 😉 but wish I would have. Xxx

[emu2016 in reply to denang]

So much information. And that's a good tip to read about the next stage... Not only to stop me dwelling on last but also to stop me reading ahead! 

I'd gotten so mad with myself for not understanding my body and all the roles things play. Probably shouldn't be so hard on myself! x

[denang in reply to emu2016]

No, don't be hard on yourself. Most people don't even really understand how babies are made naturally!! I mean the actual biology of it. I know I didn't really know it ivf. 

It's also hard because we often don't have many people who we can have an informed mutual discussion with about it.

[emu2016 in reply to denang]

That's true! And even when we do, everyone's body works so differently! Feeling much better today! 

[Hidden]

Just want to say I can relate to this!        I also Google stuff over fertilty way too much. You're not the only one if that makes you feel any better. Hope your cycle is successful x

[emu2016 in reply to Hidden]

Makes me feel loads better! I worry that I'm worrying! Good luck to you too! x