BFN No.2 😢: Can't quite believe it tbh... - Fertility Network UK

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BFN No.2 😢

noodles_ profile image
52 Replies

Can't quite believe it tbh... I thought I'd done everything right this time round. I was in a better place mentally & physically and still didn't get that longed for BFP with my one & only 5 day blasto (FET) 💔

3rd time lucky? Here's hoping eh x x

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noodles_
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52 Replies
Sweetpea76 profile image
Sweetpea76

Hi noodles, know exactly how you feel. BFN for me this morning and we truly thought that I was pregnant. Feeling very raw & numb. My thoughts are with you. Big hugs xxxx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply toSweetpea76

Aw thank you Sweetpea76 💙 It's so unfair!!! I was really hoping I wouldn't need to go through another fresh cycle. The hospital said I would go straight into my 2nd fresh cycle because I have 3 cysts in my ovaries & they don't want them to get any bigger. I've got my follow up appointment on Monday afternoon so I guess I'll find out more then. I definitely plan to enjoy some well earned prosecco this weekend I tell you! Have you arranged your follow up? X x

Sweetpea76 profile image
Sweetpea76 in reply tonoodles_

I called the clinic & they said they'd arrange an appointment, so I guess we have to wait for it via post.

We don't have the funds for any more cycles as self funding so I'm unsure what the future holds for us at the moment. We have been told by 3 professionals that we will never naturally conceive, which is heartbreaking to know that we'll never be one of those "miracles" that you hear of 😢 xx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply toSweetpea76

Have you had your nhs cycle(s) or have you had to self fund from the start? I'm entitled to 2 nhs cycles so this will be my last one before I need to self fund. I'm so sorry you've been told you'll never conceive naturally. Looks like we're both having a similar experience. Were you born in 76 too? 😊 x x

Sweetpea76 profile image
Sweetpea76 in reply tonoodles_

Yes, born in 76 so don't really have time on my side!

Our first cycle was NHS funded but unfortunately all 3 eggs collected degenerated during ICSI which was heartbreaking as completely unexpected. It happens so rarely that we weren't forewarned for the possibility. We appealed for 'exceptional circumstances' as statistically what happened is less than 0.2% of all egg collections over the past three years at our clinic. Appeals rejected so we self funded this recent cycle.

Hubby has benign brain tumour and his treatment made him infertile. Luckily, meds over 3 years got him producing again so we have his little fellas in storage. Now he's back on tumour meds so no longer fertile. I also have very low AMH levels and then a thyroid issue was detected! Feel as though we've jumped so many hurdles over the past three years but succeeded, so today's news is harsh as we truly did think things were going our way, especially when I had 2 "top quality embryos" transferred. (Sorry for long reply!) 😉 xx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply toSweetpea76

No need for apologies... what a heartbreaking situation. As if the journey itself isn't hard enough you've had all those other obstacles to deal with too. Hats off to you both 💚 We seem to find inner strength we didn't even know we had. I was born in 76 too so I know exactly what you mean about not having time on your side. Life can be so cruel sometimes. I was so sure this would be my time for a BFP but sadly I was wrong 😢 I'm keeping everything crossed for 3rd time lucky. I hope you manage to have another go. That's just awful that your appeal was rejected. Sending you lots of hugs x🌻x

I feel you my love.... They say perserverance and hope...3rd time lucky😘

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply to

Aw thank you Tamtam1 💜 x x

pm27 profile image
pm27

So sorry to hear this. It's nothing to do with what you did or didn't do, despite medical intervention it still seems a massive lottery. We've had 2 rounds of ICSI with 2 BFN and are also hoping for 3rd time lucky.

Take time to recover emotionally and physically before your 3rd attempt.

Hugs to you.

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply topm27

Thank you pm27 💚 I guess it's just part of the process that you go through in your head, did I do this, did i do that, maybe if I'd done this, maybe if I hadn't done that. I've cried a lot of tears today... It's been a sad day! Hugs to you too 🌻 x x

DSan profile image
DSan

So sorry to hear the news noodles, it really is a lottery.

Hopefully 3rd time lucky for you.

Just a thought, is there anything that can be given to shrink the cysts before you start the next cycle?

Xxx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply toDSan

Aw thank you DSan 💛 The cysts only appeared during the 3 natural periods I had to have after my fresh transfer failed (prior to my frozen transfer). They're not big at the moment but if the hospital leave me to have 3 natural periods they'll get bigger and I could end up needing another laparoscopy which would completely scupper my 2nd nhs cycle. I've got my follow up appt on Monday so I guess I'll find out more then x x

DSan profile image
DSan in reply tonoodles_

Hi noodles, I was given a prostap injection before I was put on buserelin before my 2nd cycle to shrink a cyst on my ovaries, this maybe worth asking about when you see your consultant. Hopefully, a laparoscopy won't be necessary. Xx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply toDSan

Ooh thanks for the advice DSan I will definitely ask about this on Monday at my follow up appt 😉 x x

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply toDSan

I was looking up prostap online tonight DSan and it looks similar to the injection the hospital gave me which was called Decapeptyl x x

DSan profile image
DSan in reply tonoodles_

Yes, I think decapeptyl is similar. Not sure what the difference is really.

So sorry to hear this, life can be so unfair. Thinking of you xxxxxx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply to

Thank you so much Button-123 💜 x x

Filmgirl101 profile image
Filmgirl101

I'm sorry! Frustrating isn't it!

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply toFilmgirl101

Thanks Filmgirl101... Sure is 💙 x x

Hi lovely am so sorry to hear this i got my 2nd bfn in may now starting the journey all over again in September get my injection tomorrow for my thaw cycle very unfair as I was the same feeling better trying to relax and work out just try to get on with things really hope it's 3rd time lucky for us both when are u back big hugs xxxx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply to

Aw thanks lynsey86 💚 Here's hoping! I'm back on Monday for my follow up appt. I'm meant to be going straight into my fresh cycle so I guess I'll know more on Monday. Good luck with your frozen cycle 🌻 x x

My fingers are crossed for u huni do u have to wait like the 4 month wait between transfers or do u get yours sooner xxxxx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply to

Aw thank you lynsey86 💜 I had to have 3 natural periods between my failed fresh cycle and starting my frozen cycle but because I developed 3 cysts while having the 3 natural periods the hospital told me they would put me straight into my 2nd fresh cycle if my frozen transfer was unsuccessful. I've got my follow up appt on Monday so I'll get to know more then x x

in reply tonoodles_

It's so draining isn't it I really hope you get good news hun I went to get my injection this morning and they couldn't give me it am so upset 😔,xxxxx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply to

Oh no... What's happened? X x

in reply tonoodles_

My partner and aye were fooling about the other night and for not even two mins we didn't have safe sex I noticed so I thought just tell them as want to do everything right but they said now need to wait till period comes to get the injection incase am pregnant when it wasn't even two mins and so silly to me as my tubes are blocked so I can't get pregnant myself just wish i kept my mouth shut now xxxxxx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply to

Aw that seems so unfair. I bet you could kick yourself now for mentioning it. But then if you didn't mention it would probably play on your mind. Stay strong. Hopefully you won't have too long to wait 💚 x x

in reply tonoodles_

Aw hun I've been so emotional alday cause it really am kicking myself for saying thanks hun how you feeling tonight xxxxx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply to

Aw that's a shame... Try not to be too hard on yourself 😙 I'm feeling surprisingly okay tonight, I've kept busy all day at work and I'm gonna try to keep busy over the weekend so that I'm distracted 💜 x x

in reply tonoodles_

Think it's cause before I've been took in between day 1 and 3 for my injection but couldn't fit me in so told me had to get it down on day 21 and told me it sometimes works better so I just wanted to see if would work this way but now need to phone up when period comes and go back in day 1 to 3 and now if fails for a 3rd time I would have got my next try Jan but now be Feb ino doesn't seem long but a month is like a life time away aww and so glad ur feeling bit better hun yip try keep busy i had to go to gym yo clearly head as everyone was asking how I got on but worse of it is my best friend is due her baby in few weeks time and I've planned a surprise baby shower for her which is on Sunday and now don't no if can sit through a whole afternoon talking babies after how silly I've been today 💔 xxxxxxx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply to

Aw I see what you mean. The waiting feels like forever, it's definitely the worst part of this journey. Try not to worry about the baby shower, think how you'd like your best friend to do the same for you when your time comes. I know it will be difficult but we're made of strong stuff us ivf girls 😉 x x

in reply tonoodles_

That we are hun our wee miracle babies will be with us soon and yeah I've got so much games and doing everything myself so i will b mega busy xxxxxxx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply to

So proud of you for doing such a lovely thing even though you're going through a tough time yourself 😙 x x

in reply tonoodles_

Thank you everyone who I've invited think I shouldn't and couldnt do it but I would never break down there even if felt I was going to as it's her special wee day xxxxxxx

lou79 profile image
lou79

Im so sorry to hear this noodles. IVF is the hardest thing to go through! Its so blooming cruel!!! remember we are all here for you, on bad days and good days no matter what. Everyone here understands this journey. You will get through this. Enjoy that well deserved prosecco!! Thinking of you xx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply tolou79

Aw thank you for the lovely message lou79 💖 Everyone on the forum has been fab and it really has helped me today 😉 x x

Sorry to hear this, sending hugs x

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply to

Thank you Crazy_cat 💗 x x

hopeforICSI profile image
hopeforICSI

I am so sorry for the loss noodles, sending you love, hugs, support and strength.

From my experience, I say let you very when you feel you can't hold it, we all here to understand what you lost. A gem we care so much, wait for it to happen and then it slips away... Suddenly and silently slips away. We can't even hold it back, can't beg it to stay, can't do any thing... So cruel to see it doesn't work. People around us can not understand and it makes situation more worst.

Please share how you feel and we all with you to sob on your loss. You are not alone.

Better luck next time xx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply tohopeforICSI

Thank you for your kind words hopeforICSI 💕 I was absolutely devastated earlier but you soon start to pick yourself up and allow yourself to think about what happens next. I'm not ready to give up just yet. I'm back to work tomorrow so that'll keep me busy. Then I think I'll plan some nice things with my other half for the weekend. Fingers crossed for next time... 3rd time lucky I hope 🌻 x x

rainbowbreeze80 profile image
rainbowbreeze80

Sorry for ur BFN noodles, I've been there also 2 failed ICSI going for 3rd time lucky in the next few weeks xxx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply torainbowbreeze80

Thank you rainbowbreeze80 💜 Good luck with your next attempt. I'll keep everything crossed for you 😉 x x

rainbowbreeze80 profile image
rainbowbreeze80 in reply tonoodles_

Thanks hun you too xxxx

Ladyboss397 profile image
Ladyboss397

I'm so sorry to hear ur news noodles_ 😢 I can't believe how cruel this process can be! Stay strong and I'll be keeping everything crossed for 3rd time lucky 🍀😘 xx

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply toLadyboss397

Aw thanks Ladyboss397 💛 I'm doing my best to stay strong. I have my follow up appt on Monday (managed to get a cancellation) so not long to wait until I find out what happens next x x

Really sorry to hear this x x x

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply toJojostayinghopeful

Aw thank you 💙 x x

Lynnr54 profile image
Lynnr54

Sorry noodles, it's such a frustrating process! Hope your next one is successful! x

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply toLynnr54

Thanks Lynnr54 💚 Here's hoping x x

Hopeful1982 profile image
Hopeful1982

Oh noodles, I am sorry to hear this. It is really hard. As before, take some time out to come to terms with the loss. Organise some nice things to do over the coming weeks. Be kind to yourself and take care.

Fingers and toes crossed for your 3rd attempt x

noodles_ profile image
noodles_ in reply toHopeful1982

Thanks Hopeful1982 💖 I know the drill 😉 Pick myself up, dust myself off & start all over again 🌻 x x

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