20 years old 4 years of trying :(

hi ladies ,, so as the title says me and my husband have been trying for 4 years now , and no such luck :(

i had scans done a while back at a completely different gp ,, would they of been transfered over ?

i never got the results as i had to move away but now me and my husband desperatley want our own family yet it feels like my fault as i still havent fallen yet :(

8 Replies

  • Don't blame yourself, you can't help nature and it could be a variety of reasons why you haven't conceived. Some results might be transfered but clinics may want some more up to date ones (my clinic wanted them within 6 months) I'd start by booking another GP appointment and discuss referral. Best if luck to you and hubby xx

  • Hi

    Did you say 20 years old? Well not sure what you are asking ? It would mean you have been trying since you were 16? Suffice to say you are still extremely young. Have you actually been diagnosed as having fertility issues? Are you referred for treatment? Want to help but totally confused as to what problems you have been diagnosed with. As being so young just a small

    Lifestyle change could make the world of difference or just trying not solely out all efforts on the getting pregnant mode.

    Sorry if I wasn't more help just slightly confused as to what you were asking other then info being transferred over.

    You can sometimes go back and request your own notes.

  • i may be very young as some people would say but theres alot of infertility that runs in the family my mother has only got me which was out of sheer luck after a opperation ,, i got abused when younger and that caused some damage but i was then forced to go on the implant which snapped and gave me a hormone overdose over 9 months ,, the doctors said keep trying on your own but i still havent had any success not even a flutter ,, i dont understand it all as i am only young i shouldnt really have problems

  • Hi, I'm no expert by any means but wanted to reply as you sound pretty stressed at the mo.

    Ok, some basics ... Are you having regular monthly periods? Are your periods heavy or painful etc? When did you come off contraception? What tests have you had already? Are you ovulating? Are you sure that you're having sex at the right times each month - several times in the five days before ovulation and not waiting until you ovulate..?

    Sorry if my questions seem nosy or if you feel they are silly because you already have the answers. I ask only because when I started out trying to conceive in my mid twenties, I thought it would be easy and that cos I was having sex it would just happen. And to some lucky, and unlucky women, that can be the case but for many others it takes a lot more.

    I wish you all the best and if you want to reply to discuss your answers then fine. If not then no worries. :-)

  • stressed isnt the word :( ,, ive had a ultra sound done and blood tests which found my iron was low and the damage from the abuse but they found nothing wrong with my ovaries which was a relief ! my periods come every 48 days not every 28 which again the doctor couldnt seem to find a reason for :L ,, i came off contraception when i was about 3 days before my 16th birthday ,, me an my husband are at it nearly non stop i think we only miss about a week in total in a month ,, of course your questions arnt nosey its just called trying to help :)

  • Well high five for amount of sex ;-) but I agree with Tamtam that relaxing and enjoying the sex is v important. You may (hopefully not) be on a long road and my experience has led me to have to regularly have to stop my 'one thought hormone/baby wanting brain' and remember that we are a couple and sex is important for us as well as for a baby :-)

    Tam tam is also right that you should be going to your doc and asking for preliminary tests. An ultrasound can only show obvious issues - I have endometriosis and few other issues and these didn't show clearly on an u\s. Because your periods are 48 days long then there may be an issue with the timing of your ovulation and you could ask for the necessary blood tests to find this out. This won't be easy as the standard 21 day test may need to be done a few times. If they can find out that you aren't ovulating regularly then you'll have reduced/slim chance of pregnancy. However they can give tablets to stimulate ovulation etc if that is an issue. I'm not saying ovulation is your issue, I've just seen from others with long periods that this can be an issue. the preliminary tests would answer this.

    Also has your partner been tested.... Sensitive topic for many men but it could be the issue or a contributory factor if you both have issues? Just a thought.

    You can also try ask your doctor to refer you to an assisted conception unit as you have been trying for several years. You can check your local area rules on the criteria for a referral. In any case, in my experience, my doctor had to complete all the preliminary tests on me and do 2 sperm tests on my partner before she could send for a referral.

    Sorry for long reply ... The simple answer is.. Go back to your doctor and I know this maybe hard but go armed with a request for tests and referral, in a strong and determined way. I went in a crying blubbering way the first time I asked and she kindly told me to keep trying as I was young. A year or so later I went back and calmly explained using all the facts and evidence that I had collected that I wanted tests done. And I got a better response. Anyway, wishing you all the best.

  • Sorry to hear what you have been through. I would suggest going back to local GP now and asking them to do prelim tests.

    In the wait of that stop trying so hard,take a breather have some non related I need to get pregnant love making instead of sex (sorry). Take time out for you and hubby, breathe a little,let your body rest and do stuff for just you and hubby,if you can take a little us time break. In others words all that's stress and pressure your putting on your body don't.... You be surprised at how things turn out with a few breaks and less pressure on the bodies to do something you want.

    Go easy on yourself....

    Wishing you best of luck😘

  • I know a lot of ladies use acupuncture to help regulate their periods. Has your doctor got the date you started actively ttc on your medical notes? If she/he has and it's been over 12 months then she/he should be able to refer you for further tests. Did your blood tests happen on day 2 and day 21 of your cycle (this is when they measure the different levels of hormones)? Other things you can do is get your hubby's sperm tested to check there's no issues with him and start charting your temperature to find out if and when you're ovulating- there are lots of apps available to help you track your ovulation patters, the fertility friend one is good. Like Tamtam says, try to make the focus of love making on having fun with each other rather than on making a baby, difficult when you want a child so much I know, but hey- it's not going to harm your chances!!

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