Nhs ivf: I'm confused and angry so... - Fertility Network UK

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Nhs ivf

dominiquer profile image
10 Replies

I'm confused and angry so please excuse my message if it is cold as it's not meant abrupt. Do I qualify for nhs ivf/icsi?

I have no children, 5 miscarriages and endometriosis.

My husband has 2 children who are 27 and 29 but now suffers with low mobility sperm.

Being told I can get support but also being told we don't qualify as he has children?

I'm lost

X

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dominiquer profile image
dominiquer
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10 Replies

I'm so sorry to hear about the miscarriages you have suffered that is so awful. Sweetheart I feel your pain and frustration. The nhs is so unfair..this post code lottery must end...I've been through this unfairness too..I've got a child from a previous relationship but hubby does not have any children..we have been trying for 3 years...we got discharged from nhs clinic last month with unexplained fertilty. ..told it was trying or ivf...don't qualify for ivf as I've gotta child..that was that...I'm going to egg share a great option if ur under 35 get free it price reduced ivf...my fertility is no longer unexplained..had my scan last week.. My left ovary is less than half the size of my right ovary...and only produced 3 follicles but right 9 follicles..also discovered at private clinic my amh level is only 4.36 that's low for my age should be 10 to 15..was heartbroken.. And I thought I couldn't egg share cos amh needed to be over 5...luckily I've been accepted cos my follicle count was good enough subject to screening blood tests on our first appointment on the 6th august.,you could always try appealing you can find the details on infertility network com and they tell you how to appeal you both have known fertility issues they might be able to make an exception worth a shot...I agree it is a disgusting and wrong rule to have..i think if one of you in the couple dose not have a child you should qualify for ivf..it goes against your human rights.. I really hate this rule we all pay our taxes and national insurance and when we need help from the nhs should be able to get it..most people cannot afford ivf...poorer folk who cannot afford ivf don't they deserve the chance to be parents? It's wrong wrong...

Good luck with whatever you chose hunni..

Here if you ever fancy a chat or rant lol :p

X x x

Filmgirl101 profile image
Filmgirl101

Sadly, the NHS rules are a bit unfair in regards to who qualifies for treatment. Some rules I agree with, others not. I think all people should be entitled to a chance at biological children, even if the partner already has one. I don't agree with the post code lottery. We were entitled to 1 treatment, while my friend who lives a few miles away in a different borough were entitled to 3.

It's not fair that your husbands grown children should count in regards to your ability to start a family.

I do think as you've had 5 miscarriages, they should investigate the cause of it. Like testing you for NK cells, etc. it would get you a leg up if you have to self fund, if you have all your tests done.

You can petition your local NHS ccg and your MP. Honestly it's worth a try. Even if they only help a bit, it is worth it.

in reply to Filmgirl101

Film girl is right you need get the causes of the miscarriages identified..5 is a lot to suffer...def needs to be looked into...could be bug help if you have to self fund your ivf...

I too strongly think you should try to appeal..there is nothing to lose by trying..and perhaps something to gain by trying on the infertilitynetwork.com they talk you through the process and have templates so you know how to word things correctly..if you get stuck I'm sure one of the lovely volunteers on this site will be able to help you...

Good luck

X

Hi you will need to pay privately if your husband has children from a previous relationship, we have to, you don't qualify for MHz funding. Costs about £5k for icsi. Good luck.

Mooster1 profile image
Mooster1

Hi Dominiquer so sorry to hear this. The policies are disgusting. Unfortunately you won't get funded. Like you my partner has a child from a previous relationship. The NHS didn't tell us this straight away though & we were naive to the fact. We had all blood tests done and wasted a year to be told very bluntly your fertility is unexplained we can no longer help you. I was devastated. My partner & I had no option other than to go private. There we spoke a lovely people & had to have some tests frustratingly repeated as they have to be within 3 months but began our IVF journey.

In between waiting to start the IVF (i don't know if some of the stress was eleviated but I fell pregnant :-) )

I still have all the medication in my fridge and cupboards untouched, still in the packages. If I can help you in any way let me know.

I feel different towards the appeal process. I once thought about appealing myself but then thought I am only putting myself through more stress and heartache as the percentage who win an appeal is practically non existent. If you believe you are strong enough for this and prepare yourself for the outcome whatever it might be then go for it! Otherwise I would try and find a private clinic and look forward that way. Once you have a plan it gets slightly easier to deal with as you have focus and direction.

Wishing you all the luck in the world. Let me know if you need any help! Private clinics, medication etc. This forum is brilliant. There are soany brave ladies on here! X

nellynel profile image
nellynel

HI I am not in the same position as you but I know that some couples who have one partner with a previous child do still receive NHS funding so it s worth double checking with your CCG as its not always the case

LRH001 profile image
LRH001

My husband has. 5 children, I have none . He had reversal vasectomy with me but low sperm after. Nhs refused our funding even though I have no kids and I don't ovulate every month. On happier note our first icsi private worked and am 8 weeks pregnant, good luck

dominiquer profile image
dominiquer in reply to LRH001

Congratulations to u both. Really happy for u. Xx

dominiquer profile image
dominiquer

Ur words r all so kind thank u. Seems I've been wasting ur time and mine! Given I've discovered the hubby STILL hasn't done to sample they asked for 5 weeks ago, again, he's dine this a few times till I finally left him. He promised me marriage and children so I believed himand married him, I'm now fighting to point I'm puking to but he's fine watching me go thru this alone. 7 years he's had some excuse or other,holding my hand thru god not how many laps and 2 6month sessions of menopause. 5 years in our marry on promise of kids to find the money paid to his son instead!!! Guess I need to face up to it, I'm alone and a fool and my lifelong dream is a joke. I wish u all well,it breaks my heart to read the heartache and the happiness on here

Xxx

Clarence80 profile image
Clarence80

Oh Dominiquer, I am so sorry to hear your awful news. I have no solid advice for you but just wanted you to know that I think you have been exceptionally brave in coming to your decision. I really hope over time you can find someone who will support you properly through both your endo and your desire to have children. Take care. Xx

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