Emptiness

[fertilitystruggle]

Each day that goes past I question my self, am I pathetic?

Right now it just seems to feel like every single thing triggers me and makes my heart sink.

When I see a pregnant woman, babies, nappies, pregnancy announcements, scan pictures, buggies, people talking about labour, morning sickness, hospital bag and so much more.

All I do is just cry and ask God, why can’t I have this too? Why can’t I have it easy and just have a child.

It feels like I am running out of patience and hope. All I am left with is sadness.

[FrancyItaly]

I’m so sorry you feel like this, I do too sometimes. I try to stay positive, avoid what makes me sad (I’m not on social network anymore). I know it’s not easy, but you’re not alone! If you want to chat pm me 💕

[fertilitystruggle in reply to FrancyItaly]

Thank you so much.

I will definitely message you.

I deleted everything too because it just gets too much. It’s better for us to not use it to be honest.

Some days I wake up and tell me self “today I will be strong and no be obsessed with everything” end of the day I’m back to square one 💛 x

[Hidden]

You are grieving. I know it doesn’t help but it’s very normal how you are feeling - I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Can you get some counselling? Don’t beat yourself up, just forget each day and deal with the next day it’s the only way I got through - huge hugs xx

[fertilitystruggle in reply to Hidden]

I do think about counselling some days but then I think there’s no point. Even if I did speak to someone about it, it’s not how I feel will magically go away. But thank you for your kind words.

I am trying to take each day as it comes 💛

I just want to start my next cycle and want my NHS hospital to open as soon as possible.

[LisaHarada]

Hello there, I feel your pain and I feel the same way. I had hormone therapy, 2 failed IVFs and 3 years of trying now. It is a struggle when I see my friends being happy and sharing baby pictures and I too blame myself a lot. Do know that you are not alone and if you need to have a chat, my line is open to you for a PM. It is hard but having someone who understands help a lot. I am just focusing on trying to make my body healthy now, at least it helps me prepare for my next IVF. Take care

[fertilitystruggle in reply to LisaHarada]

Hi LisaHarada,

Thank you so much for such kind words.

I’m so sorry to hear about your failed tries.

I truly hope we all can get our happy ending.

I am trying to do the same by starting exercise and trying to eat better which I hope helps me too. My hospital did say I can start my embryo transfer once they open 🤞🏼

Thank you once again💛x

[LisaHarada in reply to fertilitystruggle]

That is great, I am happy for you. Hope this is the one that works.

[Same0508]

hi

please don't feel like that...life is a circle..u just need to wait for your turn in it...it just a matter of time that plays...we are just behind someone and someone will be behind us...no worries...just remember stress is our biggest enemy...will pray for you....all the best in your journey

[fertilitystruggle in reply to Same0508]

Hi Same0508,

I completely understand what you mean, sometimes I think the same that maybe right now is not my time but it will come. But then a thought comes in my head which says “what if my time never comes and I am alone forever without a child”? And that’s when It hits me really hard.

I wish you all the luck for your next cycle

Thank you so much 💛

[TheSeal]

Oh dear, you're not pathetic at all. I am exactly like you, I unfortunately lost my baby at 10 weeks and even though it's been 2 months now i still feel the pain, i still feel lost and disappointed. And everytime i see a pregnant woman or anything related to babies i start cry and i am so angry at God and whoever is up there. Why God hates me so much to put me through this cruelty? What did i do to deserve this? these are my only thoughts when i see new pregnancies and babies...

You're not alone and your feelings are totally normal. I am trying everything in my power to stay busy and try not to think, otherwise i go mad.

Try to stay positive if you can, try to stay busy if you'd like. And take care of yourself.

Sending hugs