So my daughter wears pull ups and we have taken them off and gone into knickers and she will say “my wee wee is coming” and sit on the potty however she probably does one wee in the morning, a wee in her nap in her nappy & then probably not again until she goes back to bed and does it in her nappy. If she doesn’t nap sometimes she does a wee in the morning and then not again until bedtime. I’ve been to the doctors/HV and no one seems to be concerned. Doctor has started her on laxitives as she was constipated however the laxitives are working. I’m worried she is going to damage her kidneys, no signs of a urine infection. Offering her plenty of fluids. We just feel lost with it all. If she goes to childminder she won’t wee only in nap time and do a big one. She only goes for a wee 1-3 times a day and I don’t know what else to do! We constantly ask her does she need a wee right up until bed time & then she won’t do anything and then as soon as we put her in bed with her nappy on I go and check on her and she has done a wee/poo.
Feeling really stressed/worried.
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ERM2419
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Hello,Having similar issue with my 3 year old son - withholding wee/poo unless in nappy and only weeing 2-3 times a day. If I don’t put him in a nappy he won’t wee all day. It’s making me really worried and stressed out! I have 2 older daughters who never had this issue with potty training.
I just listened to a podcast on the Eric website about children who withhold poo/wee and found it very reassuring that this is extremely common and it suggested some tips for breaking this habit.
It’s so stressful isn’t it! She was doing better the last couple of weeks then she has gone back to doing it again and only doing a poo/wee in her nappy in her nap & sleep!
They’re so worrying but if the medical professionals aren’t worried then you should take comfort in that. My daughter held her wee for ages too at the start of potty training. She’s 4 now and goes around 4-5 times a day. She loves leaving it to the last minute!! I still remind her / bribe her to go. She’s fine.
Have you done reward charts and prizes aka bribes? Worth it if you can.
Hi ERM2419 , as TiredMa says, this is extremely common. Have you read our resource on withholding? it applies to both wee and poo. It's really important to encourage your daughter to relax, so we would suggest not mentioning wee, and try not to repeatedly ask if she needs a wee as this can increase stress. Keep a potty handy, and have 'potty time' every couple of hours. We usually suggest potty time 20-30 minutes after eating because that's the body's most natural time to poo, so you could introduce that to help get her into a routine, even though your concern is wee not poo. Make sure there's a bag of books & toys etc saved especially for potty time to help her relax and keep distracted. Bubbles or other toys you can blow can help to push the tummy down without you asking her to try and do a wee/poo. Reward her for sitting on the potty, not whether she does a wee or a poo. The key focus is on removing the stress and anxiety around the weeing. Here's a resource on withholding wee: eric.org.uk/children-who-wi... Best wishes, ERIC
Thank you so much for your helpful information! I will definitely try this too & see how it goes. Yes poo’s on the potty all the time but won’t wee at the same time as a poo which me and her dad find strange? Definitely always has a wet happy when she’s asleep or napping I guess this is when she is most relaxed in her bed with her teddies! Always happens then!
And when she does feel her wee she will go but most of the time she says “my pee pee not coming” and will get up straight away and won’t sit on there and just relax. We do constantly ask her do you need a wee etc so I will stop doing this and let her lead me.
Just so worried she’s damaging her kidneys holding for so long 🙈
Hi ERM2419 , we do want to focus on keeping that bladder healthy...So if she needs a pull up on to wee, that's fine. You could take her to the bathroom, put the pull up on but only while she does the wee and then remove it again. Do this every 2-3 hours but again not try not to mention wee or poo, maybe sit on the floor in the bathroom and play a game, do a puzzle together etc. . In terms of not weeing and pooing at the same time, we more often than not are likely to do a wee or a poo, and the other doesn't always follow, also the poo might come out so easily that she doesn't need to hang around long enough to realise she needs a wee. . A couple of questions (it would be helpful if you could complete a web enquiry form on the helpline page of the website, so that we can email you. If you do this, mention in the description box that you've commented on here and give as much info as possible about what's happening):
Is she still taking laxatives and if so what is she taking, and what dose?
How much does she poo and how many times a day?
How many full cups of water/squash is she drinking?
It's important that her bladder is getting exercised by filling properly and emptying.
Okay thanks that’s really helpful! Well yesterday she did actually did a wee on the toilet with her childminder before her nap!! (Which she hasn’t done yet) and then in her nap in her nappy & then when I got in from work she was playing in the garden and told me she needed a wee so took herself got a little stressed but I said it’s okay we can play after your wee wee and she managed to do one!! And this was her just taking herself no mention of me asking her. Then over night she has had a wet nappy.I have done a web enquiry now & to answer your questions…
1-she is on CosmocolPaediatric 6.9g sachet once a day. She’s been on this for just over a week. Her stools are a much better colour and softer. Doctor is calling me on 16th for an update on her toileting.
2- she doesn’t go every day id say 3-4 times a week. A little more now she’s on the laxitives. Her stools were really hard and sometimes I noticed blood in them which is another reason I went to the doctors and he explained that she was constipated and this has improved and her stools are soft again since starting the lacxitives.
3- she has abour 80ml of milk in the morning and then I try and get 2-3 200mls cups of water/squash in a day and then she has about 150ml milk before bed. (She isn’t a great drinker so I find myself constantly offering her her drink and asking her to have a drink)
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