Looking for support: I am Mum to a gorgeous 4 year old... - ERIC


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Looking for support

Mum679 profile image

I am Mum to a gorgeous 4 year old boy who has just started school. We've been trying to toliet train for 18 months, but never cracked poos until the summer, when we finally had a break through and had 3 weeks of clean pants. But starting school, soiling has recommenced and he is having accidents everyday. We've been referred to bladder and bowels service for possible constipation issues but still waiting to hear from them and also on laxatives. Thing is, our son has very rarely had hard poos. His poos are always loose and he goes multiple times a day.

My husband and I are really struggling with it all because he is very good at home and rarely has accidents. Nursery always said he soiled because he didn't want to stop what he was doing to use the toilet and HV agreed. Now we're worried something else is at play. It's just so disheartening as we seem to have taken 10 steps backwards and making no progress.

No question as such, but I guess we're after support and solidarity as close to breaking point.

8 Replies

Certainly sounds like constipation is at play, ensure that the nursery/school take him for regular toilet sits, ideally after every meal/snack. Regarding medication, an osmotic laxtative is best and if you look on the Eric website there is a wealth of information on this subject there.

Mum679 profile image
Mum679 in reply to Yaleamanda

Thank you! I'm convinced the movicol is doing much at the moment, but will see what else is out there.

Just to say you’re not alone! My four year old still won’t poo unless he has a nappy on and rarely self initiates going for wees. You could speak to school nurse about getting a proper care plan in place for him which specifies taking him to the toilet at specific times. Good luck!

Mum679 profile image
Mum679 in reply to Hulahoops

Thank you! The hardest thing about this is feeling you're alone and no one understands your frustrations. School have been really good though which helps.

Came here to empathise. Hesitate to offer advice, because I think the issue is maybe subtly different each time, but our daughter's problems created a huge amount of stress and angst in the family, and for a very long time we couldn't imagine how they would resolve. Eventually it got better (hard to give a specific reason, but she had one incident in public that seemed to shock her into taking more responsibility, and we also had a few sessions with a child psychologist which I think were beneficial, as well as eventually getting her onto picosulphate). I think consistency in whatever you do, and not dismissing any one potential cause pay dividends. Good luck, look after yourselves.

Mum679 profile image
Mum679 in reply to Toes11

Thanks Toes11. Hoping we'll turn a corner soon...

It is really hard when you think you've finally "cracked it" to have to go backwards. For my boy steps back like this have always coincided with starting school/nursery or other change. That little change gave him a little anxiety which gave him a little constipation which was enough to restart the soiling.

All I can say is you are doing everything you can and things will get better. Be kind to yourselves.

Mum679 profile image
Mum679 in reply to cxp845

Thank you. Got a feeling it's going to be a long journey, but just knowing others understand what your going through is really helpful.

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