Coping with a withholding child

[Balilee7]

Hi,

My son is soon to be 4 years old and has been witholding since last November. Before then he was fully potty trained and went every 1 -2 days. We overcame it twice before using a combination of Movical and rewards. But this time I find myself quickly losing patience and tolerance, whilst also heartbroken with all the suffering he has. The cycle is weekly, where he reaches day 6 or 7 unable to do much, lots of crying from the pain and eventually him letting go in a nappy pant. The Gp has him on Movical and is happy with the consistency of his poo. The problem is totally psychological and we were advised to get a daily routine of encouraging my son to sit on the toilet even if nothing happens, but he flatly refuses. He will only wee standing up.

I'm soooo frustrated! No matter what, my son will not choose to be brave and sit on the loo. The reward system does not work as an incentive. And our lives are put on hold for 2 days each week (which happens to be on the weekend!).

What tips/advice/experiences have you, to help me out?

[CCC2018]

Hi, I don’t have any advice unfortunately but wanted to say, you’re not alone. Our 3 year old withholds. It’s been awful for all of us. She’s refused all laxatives and now just started Dulcosoft which she’s drinking. We believe it’s psychological for her too. She’s petrified of pooing. It’s a vicious circle. I understand the stress and anxiety it puts on you as parents too. I have read some mums taking children to behavioural psychologists but not sure at what age that’s from. Sending hugs x

[CCC2018]

There is a Facebook group called Movicol Mummies. Great advice and support from other mums in the same boat.

[Hulahoops]

What are his stools like on Bristol chart? I was advised to keep my son at porridge consistency to make it harder to withhold. Might also be worth adding a stimulant laxative? We do toilet sits after meals - actually nappy sits in the bathroom as he is terrified of the toilet. This seems to have worked for us and we are now at the point where he goes at 5pm every night in a nappy. I feel for you, my son is the same age and it’s totally taken over our lives.

[Balilee7 in reply to Hulahoops]

I word say he is type 6 but I'd say it's more accurate to describe it as having the consistency of mouse (soft but not liquid). We are working towards a routine of sitting on the toilet, and whilst he's not afraid of the actual toilet, he's fearful that sitting on it will mean the poo will come out, so for now he's refusing. But he does tell mean that he will next time, so I think he wants to but the fear of pain is a psychological barrier. I'll look into laxatives. Thanks.