4 year old still pooing in nappies standing up

[Circe78]

It’s taken a long time to toilet train & my son now does wees on the toilet/potty fine. However, he refuses to sit down to do a poo & is insistent on standing in a nappy. We’ve been working on this for a long time & are supported by a continence nurse. He’s on lactulose & started a small dose of Senokot recently. For a short while he would stand until he was ready, wearing a pull up & then sit down on the potty to poo in it, but we’ve now gone backwards & while he’ll sit down on the potty nothing happens & he’s just waiting until he can get back up again. He’s got a psychological block about sitting to poo. We’re trying sitting in a pull up.

I’m beginning to feel that some of this is about control & we are giving too much attention to the issue. It’s taking over family life. Has anyone got any other suggestions of things that worked for them?

[Robinia]

It’s easier to poo standing up than sitting. I think you’re right giving the issue lots of attention won’t help. I actually bought soft loo seat covers and that helped my son. Also my son blows a harmonica on the loo, that helps with getting the right muscles to work. My feeling would be to encourage him to try on the loo and if he can’t go give him the nappy and tell him it’s fine to stand and do it in there. Make no issue of it but also explain there is a reward (something meaningful) every time he manages to do it in the loo.

[Circe78 in reply to Robinia]

Thank you so much for your advice. It’s really appreciated.

[Macqueen95]

My lad finally cracked it last week at 5yr 8mths. Just decided one day to try sitting on the potty but with his training pants inside it (so effectively still pooing in the pants). Next day he took the pants out and just used the potty and the next he’d put his toilet seat on himself and that was that. He’s even cracked wiping with no instruction from us! My mum always said he’d get there in his own time (my brother was the same apparently), turns out she was right all along!

[Circe78 in reply to Macqueen95]

So pleased to hear you’ve finally got there! Thanks for the reassurance.