5yo and pooing in nappies

[Cariadtoffee]

Hi, first time poster here.

My nearly 5yo will only poo in a nappy. He was fairly late to give up nappies for wee but just will not tolerate the idea of pooing in the toilet.

We’ve tried all the usual things - reward charts, bribes, being gentle, being firm etc. We’ve got to the point where he will sit on his comfy seat on the toilet and wee and even fart but he will not release poo even if he’s desperate to go and will only release in a nappy. He’s held for three days before . He’s on Movicol from the gp to keep things soft.

I told him when I was desperate a few weeks ago that the current packet of nappies would be the last I buy. We’re down to the last 5 and he’s getting more anxious every day and pleading for me to buy another pack.

So my question is - should I try and force him to use the toilet after his last 5 nappies have been used or should I give in and assuage his anxieties and buy another one and wait until he’s ready?

Thanks

[StellaA]

Hi, I'm having similar issues with my friends oldest son.He's also 5, I watch him while his mum's at work and had him for the entire easter fortnight while he was off school I had another attempt at getting him to ditch the nappies.

I've previously made the mistake of forcing him to use the toilet and it made it so much harder this time, he's very anxious about toilet training and panics if he's not in a nappy.

I took it very gentle this time, not taking the nappies off him straight away and let him sit on the toilet all day in a nappy, then with pants on then nothing, but after a few days of little dribbles he managed a small poo, the first poo he's ever done outside a nappy.

I think it took him by surprise, and the splash gave him a fright he jumped off the seat and continued to poo on my floor then refused to sit on the toilet after that.

I persevered for a week of constant wee accidents, withholding and toilet refusal, then had to stop for school starting back, he is now in pullups at least, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

He will have to choose to use the toilet at some point, but from my experience forced toileting and threads just don't work for boys that age.

I'd suggest getting him some pull up nappies then that way he can choose if he wants to use the toilet, if you let him think it's his choice rather than yours it shouldn't turn into a battle of wills.

How long has he been wee trained, assuming he's also dry at night?

If he's pooing in his nappy does he do it in the bathroom or on the toilet?

You could try cutting a slit in the bum so if he poos it will fall out into the toilet.

[Strugglingmumofboy]

I think wait til he is ready. You need to find a reward he really wants to persuade him. We had to wait til my son was 7 to wipe his bum and used a build a Bear reward as it was something he really wanted. Other things hadn't worked. I would suggest take it very slowly.

[Cariadtoffee]

Thanks, both. It sounds really hard looking after your friend’s boy.

Mine has been wee trained for around 18 months and no nappy at night for about 9 months. He wees fine in the toilet, both sitting down and standing up.

We have made progress in that area and also that he knows he has to stay in the bathroom to do a poo as that’s where that happens.

I’ll do as you suggest and get pull ups rather than nappies and see if that gives him the feeling of more choice.

[StellaA in reply to Cariadtoffee]

That's good your already getting him to do his business in the bathroom, Jacob isn't at that stage yet he just let's it go wherever he happens to be.Is he still squatting on the floor?

After you've changed his nappy or pullup you should put the poo down the toilet, make sure he sees you do that, it reinforces that his poo belongs in the toilet, not in a nappy.

[14crosstitch14]

Have you tried the poo story. I have bubbpes for my step daughter. She poohs in her pjs at bed time. Very constipated. Have you asked him what he's scared of? We have a toilet seat with steps. Make it fun, i think theirs a programme that may help him move from potty to toilet.

[Cariadtoffee]

We’ve done the poo story which he quite liked. Since then we always put the contents of nappy into the toilet and he’s happy they’re going off to pooland. We’ve tried bubbles but he’s really not interested as he realises relaxing will help the poo come out while he’s on the toilet and he doesn’t want that. He can’t articulate why he’s scared. He loves weeing in the toilet and I don’t think he’s scared of the water. He doesn’t like sitting down to poo and always goes on his hands and knees (which is basically sitting down, just rotated 90 degrees!)

I went for pull ups in the end so he’s pleased about that. I’ve explained they will be easier for when he’s ready to poo on the toilet and he solemnly agreed. 😀

[StellaA in reply to Cariadtoffee]

That's good that he's happy about the pullups, what ones did you get him, the Disney cars ones?Jacob refuses to wear them because they are for 2-4 years, lucky his little brother can use them, hes potty trained but won't do toilets if we're out so wears them incase he needs them.

Finding a comfortable pooing position was also a problem for us, Jacob usually poos standing up straight, and was having real difficulty when he was on the toilet.

He was almost in a horse riding pose when he managed it with his hands grabbing the pan Infront of him and his legs wide open.

He was trying to do it though, that's understandable that your son won't relax on the loo, I don't know what would help that.

If you want to chat feel free to message me x

[14crosstitch14]

Some1 told my step daughter their was monsters, so she said thats why she's scared to poo, which makes no sense since she's wee's perfectly fine on the toilet. I just don't know what to do with her. She soon got board of bubbles too, and realised she was happy to poo though. Then got mad and unhappy she's doing it at dads and not her mum's.