4 yr old who will only poo in her sleep

[RunningWild123]

Help! Currently our 4 yr old won’t poo during the day and will only poo at night when she is asleep.

She has been fully potty trained for wees since Jan 2020, but over a year later she has only done a handful of poos on the potty or toilet. She has a history of getting a sore bottom from poo- she was very prone to nappy rash when she was 18 months- 2 yrs old despite always keeping things clean and dry, so I am convinced this might be the root cause.

We have tried reward charts, poo goes to Pooland, reading ‘What is Poo’ whilst on the toilet, letting her watch kids videos on the loo, making up poo songs, talking to her about it, giving her a balanced diet.... and we’re exhausted. She can recite exactly what happens and understands what poo is, how it leaves the body, and why it leaves the body but when it comes to the actual action, she just won’t do it.

She is very aware of the need to poo, and clenches everything to stop herself even passing has sometimes- and yet other times she parps triumphantly with no care in the world! She will often only let out a tiny soft nugget of poo, and then when she is asleep she’ll relax and everything else will come out. But this means she can wake up sore. She still wears a pull up at night, else she would be completely covered in poo every night- do we just take this away and let her work it out that sleeping in poo is unpleasant?

She is on 5ml lactulose twice a day at the moment, and we’ve experimented with dosage times so at present she has a dose first thing with breakfast and another at lunchtime at nursery. The GP has said there isn’t anything else that can be done; and the HV suggested the Pooland and ERIC site. Currently waiting on an appointment with a community nurse after we asked for a review with GP.

We don’t know where else to turn. We feel like we have failed her and have somehow neglected her for this to be happening. We’re nervous for school and are desperate for this to be resolved for September, as seemingly this is just not a thing that anyone in our area seems to understand.

Any help or experiences... or just stories of hope that this might actually get better would be very welcome.

Thank you!

[Yaleamanda]

She is witholding, you need a stimulant laxative such as senna and encourage regular toilet sits after every meal.

[RunningWild123 in reply to Yaleamanda]

Thank you- I’ll definitely ask this when we speak to a community nurse on Thursday. 🙂