Help and Advice

[PinkMango]

Hi, I'm new here. I don't usually post things online but I really need some advice and help

My son is 22 years old and he was born with a developmental disability, which affects mostly his speech and communication, as well his fine motor skills. Physically he is fine, he doesn't really have an intellectual disability, however he does have an iq around 75. He does has issues in certain areas.

In many ways he is like a young child, I would say he has the same skills as a 5-8 year old. He was still working on a grade K-2 level in his final years of high school. His speech is very limited and unclear so he mostly communicates using a special device or text on his phone. It can incredibly frustrating for him because he knows exactly what he wants to say, but he just have trouble expressing it. It's hard because he is aware that he is different, and all he wants is to be independent and be like everyone else. He is very sweet, he always tries his best

He has been having toileting issues basically his entire life. He was late to be potty trained, he was 5 when he stopped wearing nappies. I know it's normal for children with special needs to take longer to toliet trained, however, he didn't stop having daytime wetting or soiling accidents until he was around 12 years old. He used to soil his pants at least 3 times a week. I took him to the doctors countless of times , and I was reassured there was nothing physical wrong with him, it was more of a behavioral problem, because he used to have a habit of holding on too long. It was really hard on both of us. He is also a bedwetter, he used to wet the bed every night growing up. He still has accidents occasionally.

Lately, he has been wetting the bed almost every night, before it was only a few times a month. It has been pretty distressing and upsetting for him, which is breaking my heart so much. I can tell he is feeling ashamed, a few times he tired hiding his wet things from me. I have been doing my best to reassure him and comfort him. It's starting to take a real toll on both of us. I took him to the doctor's and she could find nothing wrong.

I'm doing the very best I can, I just don't know what to do. It is getting to the point, I think it might be best to put him back in nappies at night for a while. I know the idea of nappies is going to be very upsetting for him, especially because he believes nappies are only for babies. I'm still trying to figure out what to say to him, does anyone have any advice on what I should I say to him? I also need some advice on what products to use.

Thank you so much

[Robinia]

I’m wondering if the increase in bedwetting is because he is constipated. If that’s the case then a disimpaction would help, followed by a maintenance dose of movicol alongside a stimulant like Senna.

Do you think that might be the issue?

[PinkMango in reply to Robinia]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your reply and advise. I honestly don't know what is causing the increase in his bedwetting. He doesn't seem constipated but it is hard to tell with him.

I feel like his bedwetting might be due to stress and changes to his routine. He has been dealing with a lot of big changes recently, he lost his uncle earlier in the year, one of his favourite support workers left her role after working with him for over 3 years, and now he is dealing with the covid situation. It has been hard and upsetting for him, especially not being able to go to his day programs or see his support team. His bedwetting is causing him so much distress, it's impacting his sleep and mood. I am considering putting him back in nappies until I figure out what to do , but I don't know if that is the right thing to do.

[Robinia in reply to PinkMango]

Personally I wouldn’t be upset about the nappy option if it helps him feel more comfortable and relaxed for a while. My son had to go in them for a while (age 9 no additional needs) he’s now 11.5 and out of nappies and even pads now.

Sounds like it may or may not be constipation.

I guess if you offer him the option of nappies temporarily and see what he wants to do.

Have you seen a urologist about his bedwetting?